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New girl here!
16 Replies
New Friend - September 6

Thank you sooo much for writing back. (And especially for the Wedding Day wishes...we are going to 'elope', though everyone knows, and go to the mountians of Asheboro,NC.)
I am going to mention the new medication to my doctor. Thank you. And I know it's got to be the lyrica to 'blame' for the weight gain. That and the many times I am stationary vs being active.

This may sound weird, but I actually felt better the day after I wrote you. Almost as if I have an outlet that is true to form. It may all be in my head, but I really don't care, I felt better and that's all that matters.

Thank you also for the compliment of my beating Cancer. I was treated at UNC, near where I live and they are by far the best Doctors I've ever encountered. Too bad they didn't specialize in FMS.

I read some where that FMS can come from PTSD, or hopeless years of stress. I can sorta believe that. My mind and heart were wounded when I was 19 when my Father killed my Mother in front of my daughter. It was a long, painful domestic situation that ended horribly.I was the oldest of 4 children and a single parent myself. I had to seriously step up to the plate. I did have years of depression on and off and I really think all the 'mess' and heart ache that went along with it took it's toll on my body. I never really dealt with it mentally. I clammed up and just worked, rasied my daughter and rocked on the best way I knew how.

Now, 22 years after the most horrifc pain I could imagine, my body is screaming with built up emotions. I'm not saying that FMS all came from that, but I do know that even stress now, yes, we all have it, flares up my pain. I went to Vegas with some dear friends in April and the whole week I would say the pain was from a 3-5. Then...wham...back to the grind stone, and back to a 8-10.

I'm so darn torn between thinking about my life getting 'worse' as far as pain, but I've always thought I was a strong person. Maybe too strong. I think of times when I should have blown up vs 'just playing the hand I was dealt'...and then maybe I would have released some of this stress.

Who knows. I sure as heck know it is a TRUE PAIN.
I know it, I feel it, I live with it. No one can tell me other wise, however, I just want to be normal again. And I think that's the most disturbing aspect. Some times I even wish others could just have one day of what I go through. Just to have an understanding, but we all know that's not going to happen.

For now, I go to where I have always gone for help..on my knees in prayer. God held my hand during the worst time in my life and I 'prevailed'. I need him more now if that makes sense.

I am so glad you wrote back. Thank you very much.
Oh, I forgot to tell you...I am not very good when it comes to typing, so excuse any mistakes please!!

Have a wonderful day, week, and a great nights sleep.

I hope to be in contact soon. This really seems to help out. Even if it's in a small way physically, it's in a big way emotionally.
Thank you,
Fran

 

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