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cant deal anymore
3 Replies
mama23cuties - September 5

I have been dealing with fibro for a long time but was just recently diagnosed. I take cymbalta and it helps some but lately I have been dealing with extreme fatigue. I mean the kind where I can barley lift my arms. Im young, 32, a mom to 3 kids. I have an 11, 5 and 2 yr old. My husband is supportive but he doesnt get it. How could he?? I feel so bad because I cant keep up with anything around the house. He does help me but he also works full time. My kids are good but our house is too small for us and they make HUGE messes daily!! Especially my 2 youngest. They drag toys all over the house and my 2 yr old is into everything! I just cant get a handle on anything lately. :( Im just plain exhauseted. I dont know what I want out of this post. Im just lost and looking for any idea to help me. I dont want to live like this...but I cant fight it. I want my house to be managable. There are days that I cant do much of anything except take care of my kids basic needs and even thats hard. But that means my house suffers and its a nightmare!!! Anyways, thanks for taking the time to listen to me cry.


fibrosince92 - September 6

I wish I could help somehow...I would talk to your dr about giving you something else for the pain...I take cymbalata, and just started the savella...not sure about it yet, but what really helps is percocet. It not only takes away the pain to make me functional, it gives me energy to do what I need to do. Good luck with everything!


Fantod - September 8

Hello mama23cuties - I can't even begin to imagine how overwhlemed you must feel. I have big problems with energy on a daily basis without adding any kids into the mix. You have got to get some help. Your kids can pick up after themselves - you'll just have to insist. And, maybe limit the area that they can play in so the whole house is not a mess. Is your family nearby or good friends? Can they take turns helping you with some of the chores so no one person feels put upon?

As for your husband, both of you need a good solid grasp of Fibromyalgia (FMS) so there is a basis of understanding between you two. FMS is a disorder of the central nervous system that cuases widespread, chronic pain. The mechanism that causes it is not understood. There is no cure but it can be managed. This syndrome is recognised by the National Arthitis Foundation and the Center for Disease Control. FMS causes a variety of underlying problems such as nonrestorative sleep, GERD, anxiety, IBS, sitffness and a host of other complaints. Both of you need to throughly read all of the information in the blue boxes on the lefthand side of this page. Knowledge is power.

You don't say if you are taking anything else for FMS other than Cymbalata. At the very least, you should be taking something to help you sleep. This is a crucial part of FMS treatment as your muscles need deep sleep in order to repair themselves from the days activities. FMS disrupts the deep sleep cycle with short bursts of intense brain activity. A lack of deep sleep will certainly leave you with profound fatigue and a higher level of pain. Amitriptyline is usually prescribed for sleep.

If you are not satisifed with your current healthcare provider you can do a couple of things. Call your local hospital and ask the physician referral service for a rhuemotologist and/or a pain specialist with an interest in FMS. You could also go to the National Fibromyalgia Association website and register. Then you will be able to see a list of fibro-friendly providers in your area. It does take time and a lot of messing about to find the right combination of meds to make a new patient comfortable. It took me about 3 months to get to a place where I felt half sane again. That being said, you must be your own best advocate when it comes to managing this health problem. Most of us have gone through a long line of doctors to get where we are today.

There are a couple of things you can do to combat fatgue. Get a sublingual B12 tablet with folic acid to take. You must use sublingual medication in a specific manner. No food, drinking, smoking or teeth brushing for a 1/2 hour before and after using it. The addition of folic acid is very important as it helps your body to absorb the B12. A good ratio would be 400 mcg folic acid, 1000 mcg B12. I keep mine on my bedside table and take it as soon as I wake up. It gives me "push" to get going. You should also be eating smaller, high protein meals throughout the day to keep your blood sugar level. Your diet should NOT include deep fried foods, lunch meat (nitrates), and anything with an artifical sweetner (including Splenda) as all of these things may increase your pain level. If you need a sweetner, use Truvia which is made from the Stevia plant. You can find it with the rest of the sweetners in the baking aisle.

And finally, try to focus on what you can accomplish no matter how trifling it may be. You have got to learn to be grateful for the small stuff. This syndrome is really hard to manage on the best days. Beating yourself up constantly will not do you any good and probably make your symptoms worse. Delegate and ask for help when you need it. Learn to say "no" and not feel guilty about it. You may want to consider finding a counselor who specializes in chronic illness with session that include your hubby. I hope my comments are helpful to you in some way.
You are not alone. We are all in this together. Take care and God bless.


hudsonchristina1 - November 16

Hi Im in a similiar situation as yours except i have 5 kids My oldest is 15 my youngest 5 I was diagnosed almost 3yrs ago im 29 my advice is do what u can try having the kids help with the picking up by turning it into a game and ive noticed with mine is that they dont mind helping mommy it makes them feel good and makes them more responsible and i tell mine they helped make the mess they can help clean it and breath you r only one person its more important that u have fun with your children then worrying about the mess cause as long as there r kids in the house there will always be a mess to clean up I wish u all the best and good luck



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