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A beloved one wanting to know how to deal with thier partners FMS
4 Replies
Zita - October 26

I want to know how to talk to my partner when he has one of his FMS attacks and begins to speak in a very negative manner about himself and FMS. He has began saying that its unfair on me but i try to reasure him that i am here for him when ever he needs me and that i feel what he is going though. I want to get him into some Congnitive behaviour theropy, but if i was to mention this he would hit the roof. Is there a way of saying this without making it sound bad, and making it convincing with love? Please help me.


Ann-Marie - October 26

Zita:- It is really nice and encouraging that you are so supportive. Please reassure your husband that there is nothing wrong with CBT. I had years of trying different pain medication and going back and forth to the doctors and the hospital. Finally I was referred through a pain clinic to see a Clinical Psychologist who treated me using Cognitive Behavvioural Therapy. i found this more helpful than anything else I have tried. Finally having someone who listened to me about how the pain affected my whole life was an enormous help. She has also encouranged me to make the most of my good days and to be more spontaneous as I was letting the condition rule my life. It was all about setting small goals for myself and seeing them through. I can understand your husband feeling that this support is not for him but please tell him that it really helps. Try getting a referral to a pain clinic as they treat the "whole" person. Take care and let me know how you get on XX


Lost Wife - May 6

I am having the same problem. Our biggest thing is my husband is an outdoor person and he dosn't understand he can't do everything he used to. I am in the same baot as u. If you say the wrong thing he just blows up. I try to talk about theropy of any kind when he is having his best days. Under no condition do I try to talk about stuff like that when he is feeling bad or moody.On good days u can remind them of bad day and why theropy may make things better. I have found everything is a big trial and hope it works.


Lost Wife - May 6

We also found He may like talking to other men that have FM.


Fantod - May 6

Lost Wife - You need support too. Find a counselor who specializes in chronic illness and/or pain. You can do this by calling your local hospital physician referral service. Make an appointment to go in and talk to the counselor by yourself. Two heads are always better than one in this instance. If he won't go, you should certainly go to better understand how to handle his issues. Maybe over time, he'll give in and try it or the counselor will ask him to come in to help with what you are experiencing. By making it less about him in the beginning, he might be more open to talking to someone. I see a counselor and they are very helpful in helping me. Good luck and take care.



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