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To Barbar from Brandy
14 Replies
BrandyO - December 15

Barbar, I took some time off from coming here hoping all this bickering would go away but it looks like it hasn't. It only seems to have gotten worse. I couldn't believe HK and his post. If ever there was a post in "poor taste" that was it. It was totally uncalled for. Maybe we should all just ignore any post by Larry/Kathy/Helen/ HK . Do you think that might work? They may tire of not getting any reply's and just leave. I don't know about them owning the site but they sure have played havoc with it. My advice... Don't play into it... just ignore, ignore, ignore! Many blessings to you Barbar and peace be with you. Brandy


barbar - December 18

I don't know what will work. I've just tried burying all the negative posts as deeply as I could. It had finally gotten really bad. A buddy had said I could use his work e-mail to register and to let teresat e-mail me. He forwards her e-mails to me. He did this because I can't afford firewalls on my system and he works for the gov and so has all kinds of really fancy ones. He just didn't want me to worry about getting any viruses. Everybody on this forum knew this because I explained it. EVERYBODY KNEW IT!!! Those guys (whom we shall not mention) made all kinds of wrong assumptions, essentially berating my friend's professionalism and his work. AND THEN they posted his work e-mail on the forum. They said just awful things about him. It's one thing for HK to say the things he does about me and to me---he's upset about his wife. But it's quite another for these guys to try to get somebody fired. How has it come to such a point that they go after somebody's job? My buddy has been perfectly innocent in all of this. He's a good man, he works, very , very hard. All he did was do a kindness for a friend. He has a family and a father with Alzheimer's to support. I can't believe these people would be so brutal as to be out to kill---literally. I've been in tears over it. I told my buddy and he tells me not to worry but that doesn't help. I've hurt somebody who cares about me and his whole family!! They have been so good to me, bringing me nice, hot food when I was too sick to cook, paying for the occassional prescription. His wife is also a really good friend. She and her daughter have insisted on coming over and helping me clean for the holidays. They've made sure I will be with them for Christmas because I have no family. Larry thinks I lied about working at night because I said in an e-mail to him that I had to go get my lunch. He figured, therefore, that I must work in the daytime. Well, people who work at night still have to eat lunch, even if it's at 11pm. What am I going to do? It's the holidays and they're trying to get my friend fired because he let me register using his e-mail. Oh dear, just what am I going to do? I've told my friends everything and still they are so kind to me. I am so worried. I think my buddy has been getting hate e-mail from this people at this forum. (He tells me not to worry because there are all kinds of laws and procedures that have been put in place for government agencies after 9/11. He says the gov will take care of any hate-mongerers, but still, I really don't enjoy causing him any trouble.) If you've been following my postings, then you have seen the transformation in my personality since I came to this place. I think it is an evil place and you're lucky to get away. I went all the way back to the beginning of the postings and there have been numerous fights and so, so many people have left and never come back. I also learned a lot about FMS. We needed to be keeping track of these messages rather than engaging in fights. We endded up repeating the same questions and never really responding to them. Well, I don't know what to think or do anymore. For those of you of faith, I ask that you please pray for the welfare of my friend. He should not have to pay such an ugly price simply because he did someone a kindness. As for me, I think this was done to me, and my friend, because I did research and checked things out and then published my findings here. As for this most recent unpleasantness, it really did start on Dec. 13 when I posted 5 happy posts in a row. I was just happy, that's all, and wanted to share it with my friends here on the forum. My buddy shouldn't have to lose his job or be harrassed at work because I was pain-free and happy one day. It's just not fair. This is an evil place. Please take care, everyone. I'm truly sorry to have to leave, I really loved it here, but I cannot jeopardize my friend's livlihood. They couldn't intimidate me, they couldn't get me to back off so they went after my friend's job. That is just beyond cruel, and it shows just what they are capable of. Such, such evil and cruelty. I'm sorry, but I've just pu myself into tears all over again. I can't make these people stop and I have no other way of trying to save my friend then giving these people what they want. I loved you all! And please, if they try to raise those wicked postings to the top again, exposing my friend's e-mail, please, please---all of you---bury them as deeply as you can. I am broken. This is worse than FMS has ever been to me. How ironic. I came here for comfort, relief and support. All I've gotten is misery for people who never did anything other than try to make sure I was ok. All my buddy and his family ever did was love me and take care of me. And for that, they get this! I'm sorry for going on so long but I've just being crying myself all the way through it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I am truly, seriously considering the donots and the sweets. It's actually very, very cold here. All I have to do is take all of meds (I have them in 3 month supplies) at once with a good bottle of Scotch and go outside and sit on the porch for the night. I'll just wear a thin dress and some shoes. I'll take the birds to the vet's first, of course, so they will be ok. But I cannot live thinking that any action on my part will end up costing my friend his job. I will make sure to leave a note explaining things to his employers. I don't want him fired. They'll blame me for everything. They'll know the postings to the forum came from my e-mail, that it was me and not my friend because they monitor all computer use at his job. Everything is surveilled, copied and documented. Hostile e-mails are traced and pursued under the anti-terrorism act, if necessary. I'm sorry I have taken your time but glad that it has allowed me to think this through. I can't see any other way of saving my friend, of making sure his employers know he hasn't done anything wrong. I will clearly look like a mental case and he will be absolved. I have no-one to mourn me or otherwise worry. I've taken care of the financial costs of my arrangements a very long time ago and the house is in reasonable condition. I'll just sit out on the porch and take all the meds. I was joking before about eating the sweets and doing it that way. I have diabetes and I would just have ended up in a coma. I won't be a burden to anyone anymore, not to my friends, not to you here on the forum. And I don;t think it matters that I do it. It doesn't and shouldn't matter to anyone. It might matter to Percy, Petey, and Lady Loala Bird and I regret that, but my vet will see to it they will be in good hands. She may even keep them herself, she has always loved them. I think I will simply leave a note with info to access this web site and find this posting. Farewell. This is the right thing to do. I don't think there is any other way to stop them, and this may not even do it. But I will be gone by the time they---any of you---read this. And my freind will be safe. Farewell.


JJ1 - December 18

Barbar, do you own or moderate this site? If not, you had no right to "bury" negative posts. In doing so, you buried many active posts, some of which I was involved in. If you find something negative or in "poor taste" you are supposed to report it to the site managers or hit the "poor taste" button on the right. We went through this same stuff recently with CarrieLee and you actually got quite upset at her for doing this and here you did the same thing.


BrandyO - December 18

Did you read Barbars entire post? I am afraid for her. Would she really commit suicide in this way or do you think she just was seeking attention. Why did she have to put this on my post. I wont be able to sleep tonight!


JJ1 - December 19

No, I did not read her entire post this morning, jus the first few lines. If it was indeed a suicide note, then she had issues that go way beyond this message board, so don't feel bad about it being on your post or about anything you said. And yes, she is very obviously seeking attention and trying to put some people on a guilt trip.


Lynne-FT - December 19

barbar, please respond to this post please, I have a friend of your that has been emailing me trying to get a hold of you. My email is [email protected]
Please email me.
I will not respond to those of you that made negitive coments, we all have issues and problems beyond this board and we are all human, I just wish more would start acting like adults here.


BrandyO - December 19

I never had any thing bad to say about Barbar. But if she was crying wolf it gets me mad that she did that.


BrandyO - December 19

And I say that because I am worried about her and I will lose sleep over this!


Lynne-FT - December 19

Sorry if I upset you I did not mean to I am upset as well just. This place has had a negitive effect o me anymore. I am sorry. I lost a husband to suicide, if his doctors would have taken him for his word maybe he would have been here still today. I fought tooth and nail with his doctors bt that was like running 50mph into a brick wall. It just scares me.


BrandyO - December 19

Lynne-FT, it's ok, it wasn't you that upset me. Barbar's post was upsetting. How could she do this and then just leave with no way for us to check up on her. If anyone knows Barbar personally or if someone sees her on another site could you please put my mind at ease and let me no if she is ok. I would greatly appreciate it! Brandy


Debra4Real - December 19

Dear:Barbar I hope that you are o.k..I had received an e-mail from Teresa ,she told me what was going on out here so i came out to read the posts.I'm shocked at what ive read.You helped me so much when this had happened to me before and you are the last person that anyone should fight with.You have a heart of gold and you have helped so many people on the web site.You always put a smile on my face everytime i read your posts.Please,Please dont do anything rash.Lots of people on here care for you very much and respect you highly.I know that no one has your e-mail and i understand why you refuse to post it,but please give us a sign that you are o.k...You are already missed.remember that this is the internet world and sometimes it can be harsh and cruel to many,so please dont let them distroy your faith and the will to fight to be well.Never ever let anyone take away from you your freedom of speach.It's your rite..I understand why you could not avoid them after they did the work thing to your friend..I'm so,so sorry that he or she whoever that person is did such an awful thing to you...I wish people would learn to stop fighting and learn how to Love and to help eachother out here.Please ,Please be well..Always LOL Debra.


BrandyO - December 19

Hi Debra4Real, I remember what happened to you and it wasn't fair. Just as what "they" did to Barbar (and her friend) wasn't fair. Barbar asked the monitors to take her name away. And unless she signs on under another name I doubt she will be back. I pray that she didn't /doesn't do anything to hurt herself. I have been down at the level, when you think things are so hopeless that taking your life seems the only option. I think JJ1 was right in saying that "she had issues that go way beyond this message board". But what happened here could have been all she needed to push her over the edge. We all need to pray for her. Pray that she finds happiness and peace in her life. Brandy


BrandyO - December 20

Name: BRENDA Title of Question: THIS IS A VERY SAD DAY!!!!!!!!
Question: I have just received a personal e-mail today. In it it says that Barbar pasted way in her sleep in the early AM on December 18th, 2006!! The family has requested that there be no further contact from ANYONE at this forum!!! Unfortunately, this also includes those of us who considered her OUR VERY DEAR FRIEND!! I fear she died not knowing how MUCH she meant to a lot of us!! Please join me in putting aside our differences & praying for her & those of us who she considered FRIENDS & FAMILY!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!11


BrandyO - December 20

Rest in peace Barbar


Debra4Real - December 25

Hi:BrandyO Thank you for your messege and your kind words.I'm so very sad that she is gone.She was a great mentor for me. Her wisdom and her heart were beyond great..I will pray that she will be at rest and the God will take goood care of her..I will always remember her words and the way she helped me and so many of us.I'm greatful that i had a chance to exchange messeges with her on this site.I wish i could have been there for her.She was an amazing human being.May God Bless You Barbar and may he hold you close to his heart.Love Always Debra.



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