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Tired of being told how well i look ...
10 Replies
englishrose - July 21

Hi everyone is anyone else tired of being told how well you look when you feel so terrible ? Drives me up the wall i have to say ..Bad thing to say but i just wish people could see even a little of the pain i'm feeling..


Kiwigirl - July 21

Hi englishrose

I can sympathize and know exactly what you mean. You run into someone you haven't seen for a while, you are having a bad day, feel like !??& and they say "You are looking well!!" Don't you want to scream and say well actually... But of course you don't. If you were wearing a bandage , they would be saying oh dear does that hurt??
Don't have the answer for this one, does the pain not show in our face??
I think we all have this problem and struggle to answer it.
You are not alone, take care


Noca - July 21

I hate getting bitched at/looked at weird for parking in the handicap parking when I clearly have a parking permit and am in legitimate pain. They think just because I am young that I must be okay and not in pain.

My father doesnt seem to get it when I say I can't help him shovel snow and even chews me out about it. So I hear ya.


fibromite.u.k. - July 21

Hi Englishrose, If I had just a penny for every time someone tells me I look well, then I would be very rich. It really gets to me too. I can be hobbling along and in so much pain I am nearly crying, then I see someone I know and they say, "You are looking very well", I don't know if they are just saying it to try to cheer me up (it doesn't), or whether they need glasses! I think everyone with fibro goes through the same thing. Maybe we should wear a t-shirt saying how ill we feel. Have a look at the thread saying something like, this is irritating which started a few days ago, it is almost identical to this one. Blessings to you.


Stacey373 - July 21

Oh yeah....My Mom is the worst when it comes to this sort of thing! She's always "putting me down" for not feeling good. Always saying stuff to me like "you're always sick, you never feel good" she's definately one of those people that thinks if you look okay and you're not limping or whatever...then why do you always feel so bad?!?

even though she is starting to understand fibro a little better, she still can't comprehend that with Fibro....Yes....I DO always have something wrong with me! I don't like feeling this way! But every morning I wake up and wonder what's it going to be today? And 9 times out of ten I will have something hurting or something I'm "dealing" with.

Oh well...We can't force people to understand no matter how much you try to explain it to them. I think sometimes most people just don't want to understand. Or you get the people who "sympathize" with you because they "know" how you are feeling because they might have a little ache or pain. I think that drives me more nuts than the people who don't understand!

Take care of yourselves everyone, Stacey :o)


ufdacentral - July 22

Yup Ive always figured a FM sufferer should have a removable cast they could put on so people might be able to understand WE ARE BROKEN and in pain! It has been said "looks are disceiving" and in the case of FM that is FOR SURE!!
I have had FM for so many years that my family has sort of figured out what this stuff is about..but there are still those who are clueless.
For years doctors were more critical of my pain then the people I would meet in my day to day life....doctors figured I was a nut and all this suff was made up so people didn't have to work or could run to the doctors office for the fun of it. YA stupid is that thought? I once told a doctor (in a nice tone) if you had this for 10 minutes you would go running to everyone of your co-workers and try to find out what in the world could hurt this bad and help me get rid of it NOW. He just gave me a doctor look and told me there wasn't much more he could do for me. That was over a dozen years ago. So I guess things have come a long way since then. I go to a nurse practitioner now and have for many years...she is way more understanding!
I seem to be rambling, ufda..before FM I didn't ramble as I do now..please excuse me. lol
Just know your not alone and we all understand. Take care.. Blessings to you.


Katzra - July 23

Hello everyone

I have to agree with the handicap parking, I am 34 and don't necessarily look like I need the parking...but definetely feel it. My hips and back get stiff just from home to work, a 15 minute drive. I learned to get the attitude that I don't care what other people think, they don't know me and if they have a problem with it then they can deal with it...I have more things to deal with or worry about than what those people think. I guess that is partial anger and mostly just too fatigued to care.

On the other hand, I have to say that I kind of like when someone tells me I look well, because that means I am not letting the pain get the better of me as far as looks go. But, I try to hide one understands and it is tiring trying to make them understand.

What I do hate is when my loved ones minimize what I am going through and say "Oh, you're young, you can handle it." I just think "NO, I CAN'T!" and get very frustrated, sad, mad, and then very very tired I feel sadated. Does anyone else every feel that tired? Like you can't move? I only take over the counter Bayer. I have to take the Bayer Back & Body with caffeine at least 15 minutes before I can manage to drag myself out of bed, then again at lunch and just extra strength before I try to fall asleep. I really don't want prescriptions. I could really go on and on since I haven't talked to anyone about what is going on, but I will leave more to tell for other posts.


englishrose - July 29

Hey guys nice to hear from you all ..Sorry to hear your going through it too :( Sometimes you just imagine your all alone with your suffering and no one else understands ..At least here reading your comments makes me realise thats not the case.. Huge thanks to you all and hope you have some good times coming your way xx


Nancy-Ann - July 29

Hi Stacy. I'm new to this forum. I have been "Suffering" from fibro for over 10 years now. My mom is the same as yours. She just doesn't seem to "understand". It drives me insane when people say "you look great, you can't be sick". I would love to transfer my pain to them for just 10 minutes, then they would understand what I'm; we're, going thru. I thank God that I have a caring and understanding husband who takes care of me. Hang in there everyone. I find meditation and music seems to help "a little".


Katzra - July 29

Speaking of music helping, my brother bought me an ipod last christmas and I started listening to music when I would get really irritated or to block others around me out and it really seemed to reduce my stress which in turn reduced some of my pain.


katiebird - August 10

Hi englishrose - yes, I agree with you. I sometimes think I should stop using makeup because maybe then people would realize I am not feeling very well.

How can I expect others to understand how I feel when my own husband refuses to understand this disease.

I keep hoping I will wake up some morning and all the pain will be gone for good.

hugs katiebird



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