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Relationships and Fibro
4 Replies
Comedygirl - October 27

How many are having relationship problems with Fibro? Mine is getting ready to end because of mine.


lucky13 - October 28

When I was first diagnosed, my husband said he thought the Dr just told me that because they couldn't find out what was really wrong. We struggled for a while, and finally we just had to sit down and fight it out. I told him how I felt and pointed out that I was always by his side through his sicknesses and problems. I explained how I hated feeling the way I do, I hate not being able to just get up and do the things that need to be done. I tried my best to show him just how miserable with fibro I was and how I wish I could fix it. I challenged him that if he didn't believe me or the Dr to research it himself.
After that we never really talked about it, but then he started asking how I was, and finally last week he made the commit about how a symptom I was having was related to fibro and from his research (yes he said he did research) it was because of my lack of sleep making my flares worse.
Encourage your partner to research it for themselves, maybe then they can understand fibro is real and is horrible.
Good luck.


Fantod - October 28

Fibromyalgia (FMS) places a lot of strain on even a good relationship. The variables of this syndrome in terms of symptoms can be a real deal breaker. If the significant other will not make an effort to understand not much more can be said. If the relationship is to survive both parties must be willing to make compromises. And the partner who is not affected needs to step up to the plate no matter what happens. Take care.


axxie - October 28

You need to express your emotions, needs, and your limits, while being sensitive to your partner, not an easy thing to do. Communication can be a difficult process, but the rewards are worth your effort. Regardless whether you care about someone, you are responsible for making your relationships positive despite fibromyalgia.

You can avoid challenging your better half, by taking a breather or walking away from a heated discussion, so that you can think clearer. I would advise that you sit down and have a frank discussion with him, as to why you are angry, because of your fibro, and be frank with him, by saying if I walk away from the discussion, it's not that I'm ignoring you, it's because my emotions are all in mumbo jumbo and I can't help myself from feeling overwhelmed. Tell him that you will return to the discussion when you are feeling much better. Don't do the blaming thing, that will only aggravate your feelings towards your mate.

You will need to make peace that fibromyalgia has changed your life and that you Recognize and affirm each other's feelings about the changes in your life together. Make a list of what you have lost and express grief for each loss.

Emphasize what you can do rather than on what you cannot. Working through your adjustment to FMS.

Try to remember what brought you together with your partner. Recapture whatever it was. Being spontaneous and playful with your partner will help you become closer to one another.

Lastely, forgive yourself, you did not do anything to bring it on, it just happened, don't blame yourself, find forgiveness in your heart, will help you.

Good luck to you girl, keep communicating

Big hugs to you



Comedygirl - October 28

Thanks for responding to me. I try not to say too much because my story is long and odd. My boyfriend suffers from Chronic fatigue and severe anxiety and is on disability for that. He is very sick himself. When we met a yr ago I really didn't have much going on pain wise. It came on after working a hard job and has gotten progressively worse. My boyfriend has problems sleeping and wants me to sleep by him but I also have problems sleeping and staying still in bed because of the pain. So I move and wake him up. So we sleep in separate beds right now. He gets mad because I dont want to lay down with him because I hurt and of course he feels like he needs to sleep. It ends up with both of us fighting. I try to stay up as late as I can so that if he sleeps I will be asleep as well. This usually means I am in bed for 12 hours a day and he needs complete quiet to sleep so I am in pain and cant get out of bed till he wakes up. Its confusing and I am just at my wits end. Tonight I lost it and said I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. I think its over.



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