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Learning to deal
4 Replies
y0ungshel - April 9

Hello everyone,

I am new to this forum and to talking with others about my fms. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago and have been in denial about it most of the time since then. I have been on about 7 different meds for the pain that haven't helped and in fact made me gain weight so at this point I am taking nothing.

My issue is, I am hurting so badly and am so tired I don't know how to keep going on.

My husband walked out 3 months ago without a word, leaving me with 4 children. We have not heard from him since he left.

I work 2 part time jobs and go to school full time. I don't have any choices around these obligations, it is what I have to do.

I am so tired by the time I get home and I want to have fun with my kids and support them through the loss of their dad, but I don't know how to deal with my own pain.

When my husband left, he quit his job so now I have no health insurance.

I am looking for ways to get more energy and feel better that I don't need a prescription for and that don't cost a lot of money.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Thank you


bmcgovern - April 10

I am sorry to hear about what has happened. I do not take any prescriptions either. For energy you could try taking Vitamin B12. It's called B-Complex Sublingual Liquid. This helps wake you up and gives you energy. You can get this at any health food store and it's not very much money. I hope this helped. If you eat a good diet that can help with the energy levels also. I wish you the best of luck.


feelinghopeless - April 10

I am very new to the fibro stuff, but I wanted to give you some ideas on just life in general. Having 4 kids, 2 jobs, school, and medical issues are a lot for anyone to handle. You have to choose which to handle first. I am not sure if you are affiliated with a church, but if you are, I think you should go to them. Often there are resources available that they can help you find. My church has an emergency fund and when people are having difficult times, we use that to help them. You may be able to get counseling which is very important when dealing with so many issues.

Asking for help is a very humbling experience, but you have to do whatever you need to do for your family. If you can lighten the burden with help from the community, your other burdens may lessen as well. Good luck! Keep us posted!


kvc33 - April 11

I think you need to see a lawyer regarding your marriage. Your husband can not just absolve himself of responsibility. If he quit his job and walked out he is probably having mental health issues of his own. If you can, reach out to him. Ask for help from family, friends, church and any organizations that help single parents and the poor. You are going to need it. If you work yourself too hard you may find that one day you wake up and can't get out of bed. You are going to have to give up school or at least one of your jobs. That's just reality. As for the pain do deep breathing exercises as it helps to get more oxygen to the muscles and calms down the nervous system. Drink water and give up anything with caffeine in it. I take ginger and tumeric for pain. I make my own capsules which I buy from the health food store. You can find both of these spices at your grocery store. Do gentle stretching and go for short walks to keep your muscles limber. Meditate, pray and think positive thoughts. Listen to a relaxation tape before bed, I find it helps me to get a better night's sleep. Make a list of your priorities. With four children you are going to have to let some things slide. Have a group talk with all of them. Assign chores to each one based on their abilities. You can't do it alone. Explain to them that they are really helping you out and how much you appreciate them. If you can, find a male role model for them who is willing to spend some time with them. Let us know more about your situation. Best of luck.


Fantod - April 12

kvc33 is absolutely correct about seeing an attorney. They can do what is called a skip trace and find him. They'll find him and where he is working. You are entitled to financial assistance for yourself and the children. If he has healthcare, you get that too. An initial consultation is free so go and speak to someone. And, you should explore every other option that is available to you for assistance with food, utilities etc. I know that this is a very hard thing to do but in this economy and under the circumstances you need the help. There is no shame in asking. When things get better for you and the children, do something to give back to the community.

One of the reasons that you are in so much pain is lack of restorative sleep. Fibromyalgia (FMS) disrupts the deep sleep cycle with short bursts of high intensity brain activity. Your muscles need deep sleep in order to restore themselves from the days activities. No deep sleep means higher levels of pain which rapidly becomes a vicious circle. You could try using Melatonin which is used by business travelers for jet lag. You can find it in the drug store, even Walmart has it. I'd start with 1 mg the night before you have a later start to the next day or a day off if that is possible. You want to allow for how it may affect you. If 1 mg is not enough, start splitting tablets and work your way up slowly to 3 mg maximum. Using melatonin should help you with your sleep issues. When you reach the right dose, you should start sleeping better and longer. It is going to take a while before you feel a bit better given how hard you are pushing yourself. Don't exceed 3 mg and make sure you understand how to use melatonin and any risks associated with it.

I hope that my comments are useful to you in some way. Take care and God Bless you and your children.



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