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Intimacy with husband
10 Replies
dlr0523 - July 20

Looking for advice/suggestions. Being intimate with my husband has become a painful experience to a point I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to have an orgasm because of the pain in my lower back, hips and legs. Anybody have the same problem? Sorry to be so direct, but I'm sick and tired of this! We've tried several different positions, but nothing seems to work better. HELP!!!


Pikespeak - July 20

Hi! I wonder if muscle relaxants (taken several hours before) would help? This seems like a great question for your doctor!


ladybug2007 - July 20

I am having the same issue. I am to the point I don't want anyone touching me at all. I hurt all over.


kvc33 - July 21

I need more info because I'm not sure what is causing your pain. Is it only at climax? Do you have endometriosis? Can you have sex without orgasm?


lucky13 - July 21

You are not alone, I to have come to where I dread sex. My husband would have 7 days a week if I was up to it, but he's lucky to get 1 or 2 days a week.
We talk openly about it, so he knows I have a hard time with it, sometimes it's just the extreme exhaustion other times it's pain. But I feel bad if he dosen't get it because it's not his fault I'm suffering through this, so on one of my better days I suck it up and give it up. Yes I am hurting by the time it is over, be for me I hurt everyday anyway, what's a little more.
Now my husband understands that I do want him taking for ever or prolonging it, the sooner we are done, the less pain I will have.

The easiest for me is doggy style and I use a ton of pillows under my torso to help keep me propped up ( I can't tolerate w lot of weight on my hands/wrists) that way I can rest on them and the less muscles I have to use, the less pain I will feel.

I'm sorry I don't really have advice, but I just wanted you to know your not alone, there are others out there that experence the same things.

Good luck.


dlr0523 - July 22

I'm not aware of having endometriosis. I would think after having 5 kids and having seen my gyno several times, something like that would have been caught. My biggest problem is muscle cramping. My everyday pain in my back and hips is so extreme, I can barely move for a day. The worst area is the very bottom of my spine. So, every position hurts. My husband is very sweet and kind, but I know he is as frustrated as I am. I still wonder if it is Fibro or something all together. If a lot of you are having the same issues, I guess I have my answer.


kvc33 - July 22

If your muscles are that tight I would suggest heat, massage, and muscle relaxants on a daily basis. If you are having so much trouble functioning throughout the day, it makes sense that sex would be painful too. I think you need to start with the rest of your day first.


axxie - July 24

Hormones can all help you, as for hurting I know what you mean, your husband must be very gentle with you and go at it slowly until the pain subsides for you to have a sexual relations, do use lube hormonal base would really help you lots.


lucky13 - July 25

Have you thought about talking to your Dr about getting a TENS unit. My Dr perscribed me one and it helps my with my lower back pain. I also find it relaxing while I'm using it.


mdak - July 26

Oh, I can relate to this topic very well. I know my meds probably play a big part on my libido. I could care less if I have sex, but it's sure rocking my marriage. I try to tell my husband there is millions of people become sick or handicap and they don't except there lover to perform still. What happen to just holding each other. I actually have to talk to my counselor about this problem. I just have to give in and it makes him happy. He knows I feel bad a lot a d my skin is senstivitive, but when a mans hormone is up they forget all that and want some loving some now.


MaRiaT - July 26

Yes! I am the same situation. It does hurt during sex. There have been times when we have had to stop because i can not handle the pain. What i do and works sometimes, is double up on my pain meds. Since i take a 10 mg 3 times a day, i take one in the mid morning and the other 2 before my shower at night so i can at least tolerate some of the pain.
My guilt with the sexual life between my husband and i, is tjat i am always so sleepy. I cant stay awake past 10 at night. I fall asleep at work. If i could, i would take a nap 3 times a day.



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