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I need your perspective on this issue
7 Replies
axxie - May 18

So I'm in my fifties and have had fibro for awhile now, at first when I was put on Cymbalta 30mg I immediately felt like a million bucks. This worked for awhile. Prior to having Cymbalta, I was a lost cause, I was in pain, I was going through a depression because of my pain, and I wasn't sleeping. Everything in my life seem to be in turmoil. So the good doctor put me on Cymbalta 30mg and Desyrel. It worked like magic, instantly almost I was feeling great. I was then put on Cymbalta 60 and still on Desyrel. The depression lifted and I was feeling good about myself. Somehow in the course of the treatment and with time, Cymbalta wore off, the pain returned and my feeling of depression return. I was told to continue. Sometime has passed since, and my depression has been lifted, but I still need my sleeping aid, can't sleep without it, mind you on occasion I was able to fall asleep without it. My back is feeling better, in part I think that I have now a new bed. Still there is something missing, my mind is like a skirrel, always running on the famous wheel. My mind continues to give me problems. I'm on and off on my Cymbalta, I'm now on Trazadone instead of Desyrel, I find it better suits me. I'm wondering should I ask the doctor to put me on something else then the Cymbalta or should I just return to Cymbalta, I have tried reducing my strenght and it seem to have work for me for awhile, but somehow when I'm in anxiety attack I want to take a 60mg instead of 30mg just to take the edge of me. Life just seem so hard for me to content with. I used to love gardening and I have force myself wrestling in my mind, should I do this or not, and then I just sit it out and until, I push myself to do something in the garden. I'm happy when I do something, I'm pleased, but then the next day I get the same wrestling in my mind, should I do this or do that, and somedays I just sit it out, either I give up or I try to work in the garden.

I don't enjoy life as much, so I'm wondering if I'm going through another depression sort of fall back on or is it my medication that I have been taking not so regularly because I feel it doesn't work for me, doing this to me.

I used to love to work, now it's chore, my kitchen is always a mess, and I try to clean it up but feel I am discourage.

I talk with my husband, and I don't find him interesting anymore, I love my daughter and when she returns from school, she always has something interesting to say. I go banana with my cat, I seem to shower the cat with more affection then I do with my husband.

I went to councelling and I even at one point said that I wanted to leave the family to be by myself because life was too much a challenge with my husband and daughter.

I'm not sure if it's depression that I'm going through or just plainly confused. But it would seem everythig my husband does, displeases me. He does exactly the same as always it never bothered me prior, so why now....

I thought working would give me relief, and I enjoy the people I work with, but I don't have the same enthusiate feeling I had just a couple of months ago.


kvc33 - May 18

Have you completely gone through menopause? It could be that you are having change of life problems. Have you had your hormones checked? It is common for antidepressants to work well for a while and then not, I think that long term they may do more harm than good from what I have read. Exercise in any form is great for depression so by all means garden or walk whenever you can. I understand about wanting to live alone, I do live alone because being around people is just too much for me most of the time and I get irritated by my boyfriend a lot too even though he's a great person. Please read a book called Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D. It is a drug-free treatment for depression using cognitive behavioral therapy. You may want to get couples counseling with a therapist that understands chronic illness for the health of your marriage. Best of luck to you.


Noca - May 18

As kvc33 said, I also recommend "Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D. ". Best self-help book I've ever read!


Noca - May 18

oh and as for anti-depressants, any anti-depressant can just eventually "poop out" without any given notice. Good news is there is many anti-depressants out there.


Fantod - May 18

Axxie - After reading your post a couple of times, and knowing you as long as I have through this site, I think that you are very depressed.

Part of the catalyst I think has been going back to work. I certainly understand the need to feel useful being completely disabled and unable to work myself. It is a struggle for you and I believe that you've already come to the conclusion that it was not a good decision. You are overwhelmed. You don't seem to be able to manage work, your meds, or your home life. If your mind is continually racing than there is a high level of anxiety at work. This is not the capable person that I have come to know through this board.

Axxie - God love you, please go and see a counselor ASAP. And, you need to have a serious talk with your doctor about what is and what is not working for you in terms of medication. I think that if you can find someone to talk to who specializes in people with chronic illness that would really help. I see someone myself. Talking through some of my anger about being so ill has really helped screw my head back on a bit straighter.

And, I also agree with kvc33 - have you been checked for a hormone imbalance? That can certainly stir up a lot of emotions.

In the meanwhile, we are all here for you. I hope that you can find some peace in your life soon. Take care and God bless.


ptalana - May 20

Hi Axxie, I have to agree with Fantod in that this sounds like depression. This could very well be hormone related, I think we can all relate to how hormones can effect our moods. I'm so sorry that you're going through such a rough time:(
I thought that you had decided a while back that work was no longer feasible for you. I do understand how hard this is to accept, as I had to accept this myself almost 2 years ago now. At first it was very difficult, but it does get easier. You are a very strong woman Axxie, but I think you are over whelming yourself with too much on your plate. And we all know how we pay for this.
Please see your doc as the others have recommended you really need to get a handle on this asap before it hurts you further.
Take care of yourself Axxie, please!!!!
God bless, Patty


axxie - May 21

Hi girls, I'm back and a big thank you for all of you, who have reached out to me, and made me see my doctor. I'm back on medication and my thyroid was the culprit but yes, there are checking my hormone level again next month after the thyroid medication has stabalized. I feel much better and I'm seeing a councellor about stopping work and talk about my feelings. I'm hoping that I can start gardening once again.
Again girls, A BIG THANK YOU, you have helped me, see through the hard times.


kvc33 - May 21

I'm so glad that you are feeling better and that we were able to help you a bit. Helping someone is the greatest reward.



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