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i'm new and need support of help thru all of u
9 Replies
lorieholtz - October 24

became disabled 5yrs ago due to a cervical issue which resolved with surgery, but since then i've done nothing but get worse. vaguely fibromyalia was broght up but nothing in depth. since august i no longer live with just the cervial pain but pain everywhere in my body...from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head. since aug this has progresed worse upon worse now to the point i can't deal any longer. my pain dr. is pretty good but i'm sure i've aggravated him alot with all of this (wonder if he truly understands) at first he's had me on perc 10mg up to 8 aday. really that didn't even do it cux u c now i have a high tolerence to all these meds from being on them for so long, but up until may i had taken myself off all pain meds to build my tolerance to pain, then it got to the point i could no longer deal, but that was just cervial pain and the areas involved. now its everywhere and i mean severe. over these 5yrs i've been tried on all types of meds but i either have allergic reaction on side effects and then taken off. some of these effects have caused me to be suicidal which i'm not but the meds made me feel that way. the last one was cymbalta and i ended up in the hospital.. my behavior was not of my own i was was such an ugly picture and i'm so embarressed to even speak of it. my dr was actually the one that called 911 cause he thought i was going to kill myself and seriously i wasn't at least not intentionally. now he has reduced my dosage of percs to 5mg take 2 every 4hrs along with this patch called fentanyl. so far i see very little results..omg i even called the pharm comp. to find out when this stuff should be kicking in cause i'm told how strong of a narcotic it is. my condition as of right now is pain everywhere and can hardly walk anylonger. i'm so glad i found this place cause maybe talking with others that have gone thru this can help me. i feel so desperate at this time. also lol i need to figure this whole thing out with threads and how u guys communicate with each other. i need a puter course on this lol. i used to just regualar chatting. i really hope to hear some sort of backfead on this and all of ur help plzzzzzzzzzzzz.... lorie


Tizzy - October 24

Hi Lorie,

I am new to the site, unfortunately I am not new to Fibromyalia. Going on 10 years of asking myself, "what's next?", "how much longer can I do this?" and the all time favorite, "why me?"

Cymbalta was the devils tool for me too...ended up sitting in my car contemplating how to end it all before calling for help.

If I can tell you anything, it's know that you are not alone, do not give up hope.


ptalana - October 24

Hi Lorie, welcome to our amazing fibro family. I have a similar situation as yourself. Four yrs ago I fell down a flight of stairs at work landing on my head, almost killing myself. I'm now left with a spinal injury, fibro, arthritis, and neurological issues. I've had to sue my employer for disability benefits, as well as, having the employees use stairs that were not safe enough for our clients!!!!
I've also had extreme side effects from cymbalta, and lyrica. Right now I am only taking percs, vitamin D, pantoloc, and muscle relaxers. I'm waiting for a referal for pain clinic and with that hope to try nerve block injections. At this point I'm willing to try anything for this unrelenting pain.
I also have a hard time accepting this new me, walker and wheelchair, fainting and dizzy spells with daily migraines to top it all off. Not to mention the thirty lbs of water weight, I don't recall weighing this much except when nine months pregnant!!!!
Lorie know that you're not alone, and we're here for you anytime. Never feel embarassed to discuss anything, as many here know I've bared myself many a time. And the love and support I received helped me get thru some really tough times.
Take care, Patty


lorieholtz - October 24

ty patty and tizzy for responding,
ohhh lord there is so much to say but so hard to type lol. yes i too have tried so many of those medications that is supposed to work and most of the time they did nothing but land me in the hospital. one thing i feel that i have to admit to all of u is that i have become an alcoholic omg i can't believe i admitting this to someone i've never seen, but it's the truth. i had almost a yr of sobriety until this recent episode of my time with cymbalta and i feel that really it took it all away from me. thats not an excuse but fact, it did so much mind playing games with my head that i even no longer knew who i was and that was while being sober. so right now with that i'm dealing, although not being right where i need to be with that issue. i feel like such a fool. when i talk with my dr or call the office and say i can't possibly take this anymore what more can u do, i feel like they really do care but in their minds its probably ohh lord lorie it's on the phone again. u c i worked in the medical practice for over 20 some yrs and i know the in's and out's and comments made about ppl like us. sorry to say i was one of them. i now have apoligized to god and to those i can for feeling like i once did. i know now this is so real. maybe this is my punishment..who knows. i go on about 3 hrs of sleep a night, don't leave my home unless it's a medical reason, lost all my friends... this has so destroyed me and ppl wonder why u say u would like to end it all. i wouldn't do anything to harm myself, but i so do understand how others could. tizzy i've had this for a few years now but in the last 2 months it has gotten unbelievable with such uncontrollable pain. i'm on strong meds but u know they don't even effect me anymore that is my disgrace for the time of drinking and for using opoids in the past for pain. i am looking forward to trying the massages and they r going to do shots in my hips on wed. but i've heard of this trigger point injections have any of u tried this. i;m looking for any type of alternative medicene that ins will cover. i feel depleated of all self worth and importance of what is here on this earth. i feel like i can no longer contribute anything but misery. i so hate to dump on all of u like this but this is how i feel. i will still try to keep a hint of hope that there will be something that will work. i pray so and may god answer my prayer. also i wish there was a live chat line to talk with ppl. this thing of waiting and not being able to converse on a contious thought is not what i would really like. chat room where ppl are able to talk back in forth is so much more likeable... ty all again and hope to hear back... lorie


Fantod - October 26

lorie - Welcome to the group. You are not alone in your struggles with life and Fibromyalgia (FMS). I have had trigger point injections in my lower back. I have degenerative disc disease and needed the injections to break the pain cycle. It wasn't the most pleasant thing I ever did. If you can get someone to take you - do it. And, take an ice pack to use immediately afterwards. The injections did work but it took the better part of a week to get over the whole thing. I'd do it again if the circumstances warranted it.

You are one brave girl to admmit that you are no longer sober. That's a big step and I appreciate your willingness to share. There are a lot of things wrong in your life right now. This might be the start of better things for you. As you know, one day at a time, is the way to manage alcoholism. You've lost your way but you recognize and acknowledge it. You know what you have to do to get back on the right track. If you had/have a sponsor, now is the time to call them. And, we are all here to help and listen.
You are not alone.

You don't say if you see a pain specialist. If you don't or even if you do, it is time to get a second opinion. Get your records together and see someone else. You are going to have to be brutally honest with them about your issues. You can call your local hospital physician referral service and ask them for a referral. Chemical sensitivities are really common with FMS people. I have a list as long as I am tall of stuff I can not take. Everyone wants to argue with me about it. I live here so I should know - lol.

And, my other thought is alternative medicine. If you could find a functional medicine specialist I think that might be the ticket. They are an MD with a holistic background. I seem to do better with more alternative medicine and some conventional stuff tossed in for good measure. Look up holistic physicians in the phone book yellow pages or google it online with the name of your metro area.

I hope that my commentss and suggestions are helpful to you in some way. Let us know how we can support or help you. Take care and God Bless.


lorieholtz - October 27

ohh what can i say.. i read this and cried for many reasons. i do work with a pain specialist at this time and a neurosurgeon. i have so many spinal problems and there was a thought that i may have to have surgery again. i see the neuro on wed., but when my pain dr put me on cymbalta it turned my life upside down.. that drug is absolutley not safe and fda has ruled it as a dangerous drug, but yet it out there for the taken. i read up on it and told my dr i was afraid of the med but of course he assured me that it would be ok. its only been 3wks since i last took it and still going thru withdrawls. i feel strongly and i really mean strongly that this destroyed my sobriety. you know sobriety is a fragial thing and sometimes it can just take a little something to trigger us. i was fine like i had said and no desire what soever, which in other times i've tried to quit i could not have said that. that day that i literally cracked i was someone else i know if had looked in the mirror it wuld have not been me that i would have seen. seriously i ended up attacking officers and security gurards. omg if u only knew me you would say you've got to be joking. before i became disable i had worked in various areas of the medical field...supervisors, office managers, pt care etc. i've never been in a fight in my whole life. but yet with the help of this cymbalta it totally alterd my personality. if u look up side effects it talks about this. who would have believed it would happen to me.
i have started to look into alternative medicene and have started to inquire about these trigger point injections and glad u brought that up. i hope to find something out more this week about having this done. at least something to look forward to. also muscle massages for fbs. i just want to warn all about some of these meds that they so desire to put us on... we are the guinea pigs and are they for their expierments. well i've gong thru one to many now and i feel like its time for me to fight back lol not phisically lol. you see my time in the medical field i know how dr's feel about those who claim to have fbs most of them think its a hoax.... sad.
ty so much ptalana for ur info and hope to hear back from u


Fantod - October 27

Lori - You sound like a strong person and I am sure because you care so much that things will get better. I think the outcome would be very different if you didn't give a damn.

I had a very bad reaction to Savella which is a new drug in the US for Fibromyalgia (FMS). I started out fine and noticed an immediate improvement. I almost felt like my old self. By day three I was hysterical over nothing and everything. I even called Forest Pharmaceutical to see if they had any suggestions. They said I was having an "adverse reaction" (DUH). I went off of it and it took the better part of 2 weeks to shake off the bone grinding fatigue from crying nonstop for a day and 1/2. I gotta tell you that I was so mad because I really was hopeful that this was goiong to be the answer. Had to dig myself out of that very deep hole too.

Someone on this board wrote a comment awhile back that I really liked. They said that people with FMS are like Olympians. You have to be a champion to deal with this on a daily basis. I have Gold Medals in a lot of events that I wish I had never heard of - LOL. By the way, I saw another post from you that said you were going to see a counselor tomorrow - BRAVO! You've got your first Gold Medal!

Keep the faith - things are going to get better.


Fantod - October 27

Lorie - I forgot - I have stenosis too. That's what startted me down this long slippery slope called Fibromyalgia. Take care.


lorieholtz - October 27

ty so very much u don't know how much appreciate what all that u've said. yes i go to a counselor today and i must say i'm a little nervous. i'm not sure why but i am. it seems like now days i've become afraid of everything. thank you for saying that you think i'm a strong person, but right now i don't feel that way. i used to be but lately i just feel so worn out and the umph has been taken out of me. tomorrow i go to my neuro and pain specialist. the pain specialist is going to give me injections in my hips. i would rather have on be injection all over lol
can u explain more to me about these trigger point injections and of course anyone on here plzz if you have found things to work plzzz let me know. yesterday up until 10:00 pm my pain level was about a 5-6 but then it went up to a 10++. today so far it's pretty bad and it mostly in my legs,knees, and feet. neck and shoulders are achy. do any of you notice the weather such as rain effects you??
tc and ty so much for all of your support,


lorieholtz - October 28

yes the same for me this all started with the stenosis, which i ended up having surgery. also just letting u know things went very well yesterday with the counselor. she was understanding and seems to have knowledge of fms.
tc and ty for all



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