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How can I help my wife.
15 Replies
Valentine - January 3

My wife has recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. What is the best way I can help her through the day and night sweats, the multi placed pain, and other things associated with FMS such as Multi Chemical Sensativity.


Dee - August 9

You have already helped her by just asking what you can do. My husband and family aren't much support to me. It's wonderful that you want to support your wife. The best thing you can do for her is be supportive. There will be days when she may not be able to get out of bed; just be there with her. There will be days when she sleeps most of the day; be there with her. On her good days, the two of you should do something together. Most important, just let her know that you love her and her diagnosis of FM does not change that.


cook - August 10

believe in her and support her but let her decide if she needs help with daily living. sometimes too much help takes away what's left of self esteem


Valentine - August 12

Thank you Dee and Cook, forthe advice and guidance. This has been a long drawn out affair for my wife, it has taken a number of years to get a proper diagnose and we are both happy that we now have a name to call her illness. Once again thank you both.


Dee - August 15

Valentine, good luck to you both. If you want/need to talk, just leave me a post. I wish my husband were as understanding as you.


Valentine. - August 19

Dee. Thank you for your kind offer. I do not know your situation, but perhaps if you sat down and tried to explain to your husband what FMS is all about, it might give him and the family some insight as to what you are going through. It may help him change his attitude. Like wise if you need to talk I am good at listening and offering long distance advice. Keep a positive attitude.


Leo - September 2

Answer: Hi, have you tried TF? Medical Doctors endorse this new product, all natural. 1-866-315-4001 then e-mail me [email protected] PS: this product is on the PRD (medical reference book)


Dee - September 12

Valentine, thanks for the kind words. My husband knows I have FM, but I believe he feels helpless because he can't help me so a lot of the time he ignores it. Guess it doesn't help that his ex has FM too! He has been more understanding. I have been trying to explain to him that even though I don't "look sick" I hurt beyond his comprehension. Maybe one of these days he'll understand it better. Hope all is well with you and your wife. God bless both of you!


Valentine. - December 6

Hi Dee, Just want to wish you and yours a Mery Christmas. How are you going, any improvement on the home front.


Jean - December 7

Hi Valentine: Well you are doing the right thing now. You have concern and wanting to help. The best way to help her is listen, start stretching exercises, make sure you both communicate with your physicians well and take notes about pain, a pain journal and please do help around the house, sometimes it gets difficult and as mothers and wifes we need these things addressed. Get on some of the websites such as
this site of course gives you similar advise as to what to expect or do. which to me is a good site from doctors.
Be supportive and at times it will be hard for the both of you because you will want to take her pain away and you won't be able to, just be there for her and tell her you love her. It's for better or worse as you know. The family will be her support group most of all so all family members should be educated in this condition as well. Take Care and lots of hugs.


Danielle - December 12

Dear Valentine,
I know this post is very far from where you posted your question but I just found this site...
Being suportive and loving is the best medicine you can give her. And when she askes to have something rubbed, that doesn't help either.
I was diagnosed in 96 and up until recently my husband or anyone in my life didn't really beleive me when I said I hurt...My sister even told me I was a paranoidskitzophrnic (sp) yeah that was comforting...
Anyways, just be supportive and loving as you are, when she needs to vent from hurting from her toenails to the ends of her hair...she means it.



Dee - December 12

Valentine, Merry Christmas to you and your family. Things on the homefront are still pretty shaky, but I just take one day at a time. I hope you and your wife are doing well. Seems now that cold weather has settled in, I hurt more than ever! Take care of yourself and your wife.


Suzanne - December 28

Your already doing THE MOST IMPORTANT thing, caring and understanding as well as wanting to help her/. Most husbands just can't handle it so they refuse to get involved ! Their is really nothing you can do for the hot flashes/night sweats really that I know about ! Just CONTINUE to be loving, supportive and be there . That is MORE than most wives ever get !! Godd luck to you BOTH !!


DonnaK. - December 30

My husband is very supportive. One of the best things he does to help me is give me a back rub at night in bed. He had to learn to stay away from the trigger points, but just a gentle massage helps me relax and get to sleep.


Valentine. - January 2

Thank you all for your support and advice.


Angela - January 3

Hey there, yep I agree with the others here. Listen to your wife! Please don't ever,ever tell her that it's all in her head. There will probably be times when you yourself get very frustrated with all that is going on with your wife..that's understandable. When you are married to someone that is ill you both go through it. My husband is having a hard time dealing with the fact that I have fibromyalgia. He does pretty good most of the time though. Make sure and let her know how much you love her and how beautiful you find her. I'm only 30 yrs old and there are days that I feel 90!



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