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9 Replies
danibethb - September 30

Yesterday my husband of 5 years told me he is sick of my fibro (especially the fog!) and no longer wants to be with me. He says he doesn't believe I forget things, that I am just hassling him and that i use fibro for an excuse to be lazy and not make any money. (I help him with his business and am a full time homemaker). I feel so abandoned-thank God for family and friends who do empathize.
I do my very best, but he says i don't, and he is sick of me and my condition. My question is, when people ask why are splittin up, do you think I should tell them the real reason?
Thanks for listening and caring!


JW - September 30


Absolutely tell everyone the truth. YOU have nothing to be ashamed of! Tell them he is an unsupportive, selfish jerk who couldn't honor his wedding vows of better or worse. You didn't do anything wrong. I know this is a difficult time for you but in the long run you will be better off without him. Hang in there!


Virg - September 30

Dear Danibethb, You bet you should I agree with JW. Tell them that ungrateful
SOB is too self centred to grasp the gist
of a medical condition you have and wanted out. Please don't feel abandoned... think of all the time his leaving has freed up for you!!!!!


TERESA - September 30

I'm so sorry that you have to go through that but believe it or not you are going to be better of !!! Any one with that attitude toward someone they are supposed to love is not WORTH IT!!!! Would you do this to him if he was to come down with cancer, arthritis, stroke, etc, etc..? He sounds like a selfish jerk & I hope you STICK IT TO HIM GOOD!!!


AmberRose - October 1

Was he just frustrated maybe? it sounds pretty horrible for him to say all those things specailly when i am in the same situation as you..helping the husband with his business and being at home with the kids....Maybe he needs to go to the doctor with you so he can understand better? I cant really say what will work or if he will change his attitude ...we only know your side of it and not to say your lying but guys bottle things up alot and when they get frustrated they say mean things. I know my husband has said his share of nasty things to me but in the end he didn't mean it and i know he didnt. Most of this of course was before i was diagnosed. I would defintly see if he has any good husband left in him before id go pegging him the bad guy......Your job is tough enough without fibro he should understand that much for sure! I dont knwo what else to say i jsut hope things turn out the best for you. I hate to hear of things liek this because of allwys afraid soemthign terrible will happen and my husband will leave allways its in the back of my head becuase you see it all the time...Hand in there though if he really is a jerk then it will come around on him!
Sorry bou tthe typing.....bad day today :p


Stephanie417 - October 2

Definately.. It might as well be known to everyone what kind of person he REALLY is.. I understand to a point, my husband has little sympathy and sometimes underestimates the work and patience that goes a long with being a full time mother.. even harder with Fibro.. It sounds like he has taken the selfish way out.. rather than choosing to be supportive of his wife, he has chosen to rid himself of any responsibility.. I sympathise with you.. I truly do.. and as hard as this will be.. You must know that being with someone this selfish and conditional is only going to make things worse for you in the long run.. You deserve much more than this.. What a jerk.. I wonder if you had a fatal disease.. would he react the same way?.. It dosnt matter.. just amazes me how lightly people take Fibro.. like its a little cold that will go away in a day or two... Makes me angry.. I can go on and on.. but Ill go now.. Good luck to you.. You will be fine.. and YES. tell them the REAL reason !!


TERESA - October 2

Danibeth, How are you doing? How did your weekend go? You have not responded to any of our posts. I hope you are alright! Please write & let us know. We here at this site care!


colleen steele - October 2

Hi Danibeth, I feel for you girl,I am going through the same thing.The only difference is that I wish my husband would leave.I only stick with it for now because I don't have an income right now. I have been single before for many years and believe me it is much better once you get adjusted to it. I don't know how old you are or how many kids you have home, but don't be unhappy he is not worth it if he does not care.God you sound just like me!! I am only married 5 years also and have the same types of issues. I am 50 and no children at home.Thank God for that. If you really feel you can not work it out with your husband, and I believe if you still love him than you owe it to yourself to see if it is possible to work it out and stay together.If not than don't be afraid of it,being on your own I mean,it is real nice letting go of that kind of stress.And less stress can mean less pain.We all pray for that. Anyway good luck to you and let us know how you are doing.People here really care I find..I hope your health is doing good for this trying time..........Yours Truly......Colleen


barbar - October 4

Daninethb, Where are you? You've not responded to any of our posts and we are worried (I think I can say that for all of us). After nearly 20 years of separation, my ex-husband finally understands my fibro and is supportive in any way he can be, including financially. He got this way by reading as much as he could about fibro, including googling online, and talking with doctor friends of his. Instead of calling me lazy and what not for not getting my work done, he now congratulates me for getting as much done as I do. He even monitors me and will tell me when I am doing too much and need to relax, or that the fibro fog has come for another visit and I need to be careful to check and re-check my work to make sure the fog hasn't leed me to any mistakes. Your husband is probably just frustrated and angry. The two of you need to sit down and take a look at just how your fibro is affecting his life and see what you can do to ameliorate those affects or come up with some consolation for his losses. Part of what he is saying is that he is tired of everything always being about you. He needs to be the focus of his own life for a while. Anyway, get back with us so we know you are ok.


barbar - December 18

Could you give us an update on how you're doing with this? Hope you doing ok.



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