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Difficulties with sex
5 Replies
Tasla - May 21

Hi, I'm new here but have been reading the threads for a few days.
I have a question about sex, I have such problems with almost any position - my back hurts if I lie on my back, my knees hurt if I'm on top or on my knees, I don't like being on my side, my back hurts if I try to bend over, you get the drift, I'm sure.
I also get easily irritated during manual or oral stimulation and can't ...finish, so any sex we do have is usually more for his benefit than mine.
What do you guys do to maintain an active sex life that's pleasurable for you and your partner?


kvc33 - May 21

My skin is also easily irritated by any stimulation so sometimes I keep clothes on or use olive oil to lessen that. As for getting turn on and relaxed I use scented essential oils such as lavender and I'll have a sexy song running through my head. I don't have as much problems with positions as you do but it is a challenge. Do your knees hurt because of pressure or bending? You might try some extra cushioning if it's pressure causing the trouble. Massage and loving talk makes it pleasurable for me and I also love to cuddle.


Canada17 - May 21

My biggest problem is my libido, or lack of it most days. I don't have much pain in positions during sex unless I am in one for an extended period of time. I do get "charlie horses" in my hips though and I need to straighten my leg because it locks up. That's painful but doesn't happen all the time.

My husband and I have great chemistry in bed and neither of us usually has a problem reaching climax unless we've been drinking.

What I might suggest, because you seem a little frustrated that your husband is getting all the benefit here, it doing it yourself.

After he's done, he can play with you and you can touch yourself to reach your climax. In my experience men don't mind a woman who knows how to turn herself on. This may also help with getting "to the point" during the act. Or, you can try a vibrator...that might get you there even faster!

There are topical solutions you can buy to make yourself more sensitive and are supposed to make it easier for you to climax, they don't work for me though, if anything my problem is that I'm too sensitive and need less stimulation.


Tasla - May 21

Thanks for you comments, my replies:
It takes me long to reach climax, doing it myself is often unthinkable because of pain in my forearms, and when he does it my back gets tired or my skin "down there" gets irritated.
Lubrication is not really an issue, but desire has gotten to be, mainly because I'm getting skittish after too many failed attempts.
He is endlessly patient, when we do it "just for him" it is usually my idea, not his (he would rather I get *mine* too).
I would like to try using pillows, but where do I put them for maximum relaxation (if I'm on my back, for example)? Every time I try they are apparently in the wrong place since they make my back worse.
Also, we used to do it in all kinds of positions and sometimes for hours (I'm not kidding), but there is no way I can do that now, which leaves me frustrated, nostalgic and feeling guilty.
Further advice/tales of experience would be greatly appreciated.


bmcgovern - May 21

Have you ever tried a standing position? I have layed on my stomach with a pillow underneath my stomach and he comes from behind and that usually works you could try. Lubricant works for me.


kvc33 - May 22

Just to clarify, when I suggest the olive oil it wasn't due to lack of lubrication, the oil forms a barrier between the skin and the stimulation which makes for less irritation.



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