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3 Replies
kvc33 - July 8

I find that being ill and depressed destroys my confidence in myself. It I can't even rely on my body, what can I rely on? I find it hard to take risks and make decisions. I walked around the mall for almost two hours yesterday trying to decide what to buy. I came home with a few items that I'm unsure of. I guess that's normal but I find it soul-destroying when the littlest things are so hard for me. For other people shopping is quick and easy and then they are on to the next thing. I feel like I spend my life looking for the right things for me. I woke up today to find that the deer had eaten most of the plants that I was enjoying so much and it makes me sad. Do I go out and buy more and risk having them eaten too? I often find myself thinking, "I can't do this anymore." And then I think of my bf and I'm able to go on but if it wasn't for him I'd have given up long ago.


Noca - July 9

Depression impairs the ability to make decisions. This is a common symptom of depression. I too am very indecisive, takes me forever to even order at McDonalds with people standing in line behind me lol.

As for your plants, just keep plugging away getting new ones. Maybe try catching it in the act and chasing it away, iunno. I'm glad you got your bf to support you through these times. Keep your head up!



I can relate to depression issues. I have a beautiful 8 year old daughter, a good job, a car and home (may not be the best, but I am certainly BLESSED) yet I catch myself feeling like I am lost with nothing! My daughter is what keeps me going. But I can relate to both of you! I do that when ordering food as well.
I catch myself crying or tearing up and not knowing why... Which is really hard to explain to my daughter. I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago due to really bad endometriosis so I don't have any hormones to regulate in my body either.
I hope you both feel better! And know you are not alone in what you are feeling!


Stacey373 - July 9

Hi kvc33! I don't even know where to start...I keep reading your posts and I feel so bad for you but then I'm not sure what to say. It seems that everything is easier said than done, ya know?

I was going through a major depression for a very long time and then ended up having my own little "breakdown" a couple months ago. That was when I found this forum and I thank God that I did! I spent a week reading the posts on here and crying almost non-stop. But then I decided to quit feeling sorry for myself (not that I'm saying that's what you are doing...that's just what I felt I was doing)
My hardest challenge and biggest goal right now is to try to stay positive no matter what. Like I said, it's easier said than done. I kept thinking I could literally spend all day long thinking about all the negative stuff and all the things I can't do anymore and how I wish I was more like "this" or "that". I have friends that are my idea of "Super Moms"...they can go to work all day, then come home and take care of their kids, their house is always clean, and they always have dinner on the table. And I was so hard on myself for so long because I could barely get out of bed each day and get my kids off to school....much less clean the house, go to work, or even make dinner.

I decided instead of thinking about everything I couldn't start thinking about all the positive things in my life and all the things I can do. No matter what it can always find something good and positive about your life. Even the smallest of things you should be proud of. Over the last couple of months I have learned to take pride in the little things that I can do, instead of worrying about all things I haven't done. Whether it's doing a load of laundry or cleaning my kitchen or making dinner for my family or getting outside and planting a few flowers. And I've noticed that each week I've been able to do a little more. I don't know if I'm actually "doing more" or if it's just that I "feel like" I'm doing more. I always use to focus on everything I couldn't do (yea, so I made dinner tonight, but I didn't get my house cleaned) but now I try to focus on all the things I have done through the day.

anyways...I'm probably not making much sense...I always seem to ramble on and on! LOL
If you (or anyone else) wants to talk privately and just needs a friend to vent to each day, my email address is red61677 (the site won't let me post this if I put the on my address!) Please feel free to write me, I'm almost always on here and would love to get to know you better.

Take care of yourself, Stacey :o)
P.S. keep planting those flowers! If they make you happy then plant them every week if you have to!



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