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Druggy, me????
8 Replies
ptalana - January 3

Has anyone been accused of being a druggy by there significant other????
Since my accident four years ago I've been taking percocet, pantanol, fentynol patch for the pain. I've since weaned myself off of the fentynol and try not to take too many of the percs. Without these meds I wouldn't be able to function at all. My mobility issues have come to a point that I crawl up the stairs, I shimmy across the floor on my behind to clean the hardwood floors. Standing, sitting for any period of time has become unbearable!!!! I push myself to cook, clean, and do laundry and I do my own physio 5 days a week at home. But in order to be able to do these things I have to take my percs a half hour before I start, otherwise I'd be flat on my back all the time!!!! They say life is too short, life would be too long if I couldn't do anything. Hubby doesn't want to hear how badly I feel, and all of a sudden seems to think my pain meds are a problem. I've tried all the other meds prescribed for treating Fms, to no avail. My doctor understands the pain I'm facing and knows how important it is for me to be able to do something no matter how small. If taking my meds enable me to accomplish these little things I will take whatever's necessary to allow me this.
How do I deal with my hubby's attitude towards my pain meds???? I should mention I don't get high from these meds, they simply numb the pain enough to get a few things done during the day.


Fantod - January 5

Hi Patty - Please see my response to you under the "Fibromyalgia Support Groups" section. Take care


Canada17 - January 9

Maybe I am way off but it sounds like your husband probably looked to someone for support because he feels badly about your condition. It is possible that whoever he spoke to thinks that you are taking way too much. They probably don't know the whole picture.

Being injured in an accident is hard enough on us to begin with but when you throw FM into the mix, it becomes much worse. It is not surprising that you need the medication to get through your physio, in fact my doctor has always told me to take my pain medication before I do something that is going to put strain on me so that I am not suffering waiting for it to kick in.

There is a huge difference between addiction and dependency. The fact that you can say you do not get high off the pain killers, that you merely achieve a state of being that allows you to function, shows that you are not addicted.

Has your husband gone with you to your appointments? I know my husband questioned a lot of what I need to get by and having my doctor answer some questions for him helped us so much.

Your husband sounds worried about you, and rightly so. I am sure he loves you, or he wouldn't have married you. Through sickness and health though. You need to talk to him and help him to understand that people with FM experience pain differently. Not only do we feel it differently, we feel it more. That doubles the effects of any injury, and I think double is an understatement. lol

I commend you for pushing through and getting housework done and doing your physio regularly. This will help you. I urge you to bring your husband to your doctor and have him ask the doctor questions, as I said, it sounds like he is getting some misinformation about the use of pain killers. You may also consider speaking with a professional who deals with helping people cope with the emotional stress of illness and injury.

Being able to work through this will build your relationship stronger. Hoping that it will work itself out in the end will not be helpful. Anything worth having is worth working for and as long as both parties are willing, you can get through anything. :)

I wish you all the best.


SofaGeorge - January 9

The "stigma" of using narcotic pain killers is a huge barrier people have to overcome. I am 50, a boxer, weightlifter, kickboxer... avid hiker... and by all "image" the picture of health... but without pain medication I literally wouldn't be able to stand up some days. (No joke... the pain is so bad I can't even read to distract myself.)

I experienced several times that taking pain meds or even letting people know that I used pain meds immediately had them mentally label me a "druggy" - so I learned that 100% I have to keep my pain management completely secret from employers, coworkers... basically almost everyone.

My wife was initially VERY concerned about my pain med use... to the point that when we first went in to a chronic pain management specialist she had a complete breakdown screaming and crying about the "drugs and more drugs" I was taking to try to control the pain. This got the doctor to label me a "drug seeking" patient rather than someone with legitimate chronic pain. Fortunately, I'm I work with a large group of doctors who are all top specialists and they knew me for years... so when they heard of my experience with this doctor they immediately slapped me in with a GOOD and caring doctor. He ordered a contrast MRI and basically said "Holy shit!" You know you are bad when the doctor says something like that. He recognized I had severe degenerative disc disease in my neck... but they didn't realize the fibromyalgia till later.

Long story short... getting into serious pain management is the best move I ever made. I was back to doing full workouts... walking the dogs... doing house work and yard work, etc... and I could NOT function without pain meds.

They don't get me "high" at all. They never have... but they do let me feel normal.

To be honest from your post, it actually sounds like you are under medicated. I am on 80 mg oxycontin twice a day and 4 15 mg oxycodone for breakthrough pain. (I'm a big guy... so this is probably a lot more than you would need.)

You need to be on both a time released pain killer and an immediate release pain killer for breakthrough pain.

My wife comes with me to ALL appointments. She meassures out my pills so she knows I am 100% compliant... and a big part of this process was getting her educated that we are a team in this. Chronic pain patients need support at home... and with that support the sun comes out again and life gets much better.

Unfortunately, ignorance is your enemy. People who don't experience chronic pain can't conceive of what it is like. You need to get a good pain management doctor... and you need to ask him to help your husband understand that your need for pain meds is NOT recreational.


ptalana - January 10

Thanks so much guys for the advice, I truly appreciate you sharing your own experiences with pain management. I'm still waiting for the o.k from insurance for pain management clinic, as well as, the nerve block injections.
Canada 17 I do believe you are bang on with my hubby getting told some mis-information in regards to pain meds!!! Even though I do take my hubby with me most times to the doc's, he still doesn't seem to grasp this insane pain. But I guess to be fair how can he???
Sofa George, first off hi and welcome to our family;) My doc and I both agree with the percs not being adequate for my pain management we've been waiting for the nerve block injections to be approved by ins, seems to be taking forever!!!! I too suffer from degenerative disc disease, nerve damage to my spine, scoliosis, dislocated jaw, all leading to now Fms...... I hear what your saying about our biggest enemy being ignorance. That old addage about ignorance being bliss is just bull crap!!!!! I hope to get approval soon for comprehensive pain therapy. With hopes that this will help my hubby get a better understanding of our condition and the treatments necessary to survive.
Thanks again guys, you're my lifeline, Patty


Noca - January 11

I dont have a significant other, but I dont care what others think of my medication use. I have all my meds out in the open on my shelf in my bedroom. Anyone who comes over can clearly see them. My friends haven't really said anything and the ones that do I simply explain my illnesses, they soon after are cool with it. My dad is the only one who doesnt even believe in meds nor mental illness. His lack of support gets me down but at least my mother whos a nurse understands.

I take a lot of strength to maintain control of my medications. I never abuse any of them nor take above any of my prescribed dosages. My pain killers simply kill my pain, they do nothing else.


SofaGeorge - January 14


Be 100% sure your doctor communicates with the pain management doctor BEFORE you go in to see him, or bare minimum have all of your doctor's contact information written down in hand when you go in for your first appointment. (If you aren't part of a medical group where this doctor can access your medical records online... ask your family doctor to make a complete copy of your records so that you can bring them with you to your first appointment.)

Some pain management doctors are wonderful and very caring. Others are stuck in a mentality of trying to weed out "drug seeking behavior." ("Drug seeking behavior" is the actual term doctors are trained on to use to watch for patients seeking narcotics and other drugs that get you "high.") Having your medical records with you and your doctor's contact info immediately available will help the doctor more quickly access you as a legitimate pain patient.

Also, be aware, the doctor won't get exactly the right program for you on his first try. They have to titerate your meds... starting with the lowest possible dose... and slowly working up to where you need to be. Because drugs develop a tolerance and stop being effective if you take too much... you always need to take the smallest amount possible. And if you get that amount right you may be able to stay on the same dose for 10 to 15 years without developing a tolerance to it.

My doctor (not the bad one) started me on 40 mg oxycontin twice a day with 3 breakthrough pills a day. the effect was magic. It was like lifting the weight of the world off my shoulders... and I thought that was good enough... but he kept urging my wife and I to go to 80 mg. I was very hesitant. I didn't want to use a higher dose but finally agreed to try 60 mg twice a day. I couldn't believe it. The relief from 60 was so much better that I immediately asked to jump to 80. When we got to 80 I was fully able to realize why dosing is so critical. I had suffered and suffered for years.... and for me the relief I got from 40 mg was a miracle... such a miracle I didn't realize things could be even better.

I am not taking 80 mg twice a day and 4 breakthrough pills... and I cannot believe how different life is. My wife is fully on board with my treatment simply because she sees the change in my behavior. She doesn't even question this being a "druggy" thing. She sees me cheerful about getting out of bed in the morning instead of limping to the bathroom sink and have to lean against it to brush my teeth. She sees me happily asking for a list of yard chores to do on Saturdays instead of my just sitting on the sofa and her coming home to me telling her how much I hurt.

Pain management changes your life once you get the meds and dosage right.

God bless you. You are in my prayers.


stephanyb11 - January 14

hi patty, i have not been accused by my spouse...but by other ppl that have no idea what is really going on YES I is a heart breaking situation!! i would never wish one ounce of the pain i go through in a day on even my worst enemy..but if they could feel it they would totally understand!!! i am so sorry you are going through this...take care hun and God Bless you!!!


feelinghopeless - March 25

I have been called a druggie by my family members. This is the way I see it....if I had cancer and needed meds to make it through each day, I would take them. Same goes for my blood pressure....I am going to take them because they make my quality of life better. Am I dependent on them...YES because it is the only way I can have some sort of a life. The difference between addiction and dependence in my view is addiction will interfere with your quality of life, dependence will help you to achieve a quality of life.

Anyone agree?



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