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How do I not loose my job or my home?
9 Replies
Trinity - November 22

I work for the Gov't in VA. I'm divorced, 47, with a sixteen old old teenager and a mortgage. My boss is incompassionate to say the least. He is a user and pushes you til you can not take anymore. Knowone can take him, even the healthy ones. He tells me to get over it and start working to pull my weight. Which I do while I'm there. He makes threats to me when knowone is around. He tells me in a ugly way that I'm alot like his ex wife, "she had mental problems", pointing to his head. I would like to feel sorry for him but his ignorance and incompassion is too great. I believe I could do alittle better if I wasn't in such a stressful envirenment, but my memory and cognitive dysfunction, constant pain, stffness to the point that I sometimes can not get my legs to work, fatique to the point that it makes me "crash" then I'm out of work. I have only 50 hrs. of leave left, both sick and annual. He also makes comments that he can't keep me around long enough to get any work out of me, like I'm some plow horse. I thought I was crazy before I was diagnosed with this stuff. My immune system is so poor and I tested possitive for Ebsteinbarr Syndrome and another Syndrome that I can't remember how to pronounce it, EBV or something. I have COPD and Degenerative Disc Disorder I was told. I've seen so many doctors that I'm tired. I stopped taking pain pills unless it gets so bad that I can't take it anymore and I'm at home in the bed "crashed". I now take every kind of vitamin and mineral I can stuff into my mouth. I have so many other symptoms it would take too long to name. When I get off from work I have to come home and do less as possible just to be able to get up to go to work the next morning. If I'm dealing with a lot of stress it's only a matter of time before the next crash. I'm angry that people can look at me and think that nothing is wrong because they don't see what I'm going through or the pain I'm feeling in my body. I must admit that I'm afraid that my boss is going to do whatever underhanded thing he can do to make things so hard for me that I loose my job or have to quit. From what I hear Disablity is not a option with Social Security even though I've paid into it for all these years working for the Gov't. What's going to happen to me? I didn't ask for this. If I loose my home where am I going to go? Does anyone have any suggestions or answers? God help me.


TERESA - November 24

Sorry to hear that your boss is such a butt....! Is your boss in a goverment appointed postion? Are you a civil servant? You have a case of a hostile workplace! Can't you transfer or have him transferred? maybe if you were to file a grivence? I think if I were you,I would give SSDI a whirl! With a COPD & a DJD diagnosis you MIGHT qualify!!! Also if you would put your questions to this forum on the General Discussion Forum, you might get quicker answers! Sorry it has taken so long for someone to respond!!


AmberRose - November 28

Yeah thats definitly make an annoynomous complaint and maybe if enuogh complaitns are filed in a short period of time they can do soemthign about it.


barbar - November 29

Trinity, you are not going to lose your job and you are not going to lose your house. If you work for a federal agency, your boss could be in BIG trouble! Document everything he does and take it to your human resource people and let them know you have a case of violation of the ADA---Americans with Disability Act. You can download the ADA off the web and read it carefully; it's not too long and not at all complicated. Violation of the ADA is VERY SERIOUS. Your agency IS REQUIRED BY LAW to provide you the appropriate accommodations for you to do your work. I also work for a government agency, the feds, and they have been very nice to me here. They have provided a special chair---put together just for me so that it fits my butt and my butt only---so that I can work and allowed me to work from home---telecommute---two times a week. Also, if you work for a federal agency it would be very difficult for you boss to get you fired and if he tries, under any circumstances, you have enough to sue, in which case you won't have to worry about financial securityfor the rest of your life! That's why document: so you can establish a pattern of conduct that results in negative consequences for you. As for disability, yes indeed, it is an option. FMS is recognized by SSA as a disability. You would have to demonstrate the extent to which you are disabled and have to meet their requirements. Work with an SSI disability attorney and get that done. FIrst thing is to have the human resource people where you work draw up an analysis of your retirement benefit if you were disabled. I don't know about CSRS but under FERS you get 60 percent of your high three for the first two years and then 40 percent until age 62 at which point you get what you normally would have gotten had you retired at 62. Also, check your homeowners insurance to see if their is a disability clause. It's not likely but some policies include them. Barbar


jhummel03 - December 18

I wish that there were magical answeres. Please know that you're not alone. I finally filed for disability earlier this year & GOT IT. The money isn't a lot, but it sure is better than nothing at all. Keep the Faith & God bless you.


Debbie229 - January 9

Oh Trinity I feel your pain, I am at risk of losing my job-my fmla days run out soon. Have just been diagnosed and placed on meds, have only been on them for 1 week. I have worked for over 2 years with this illness, needless to say hasn't been much of a life lately. Just when I think that Ok I have an answer now and I can get some kind of treatment I am hit with this info. Am already at a high risk of losing my house. Just hoping it sells before I go into foreclosure. Can't handle the upkeep by myself anyways-would do much better in an apartment-I can't rake an acre anymore. And to top it of I have an 18 yr old son at home who just can't seem to understand whats wrong with mom. All I know is that I am not going to give up with out a fight


rhyannon - January 26

I used to work for govt. in VA and I could have written your letter. I am now 60, but I was in my late 40's when it was clear I would have to do something different or I was not going to survive. I made stupid choices when I was in your shoes, and would be glad to share what NOT to do. You can repost to the forum, or email me privately
Kyleen (Older & Wiser)


Angelis - January 27

Sounds like my boss. I am a 43 divorced male with fibro and chronic fatigue syndrome. What is wrong with people? Do they really not having any empathy for fellow workers. I would record converstaions he has with you. He has stepped way over the line many times. Do you have other disability insurance with your job. I pay into a disability plan if qualified will pay 60% of my take home untaxable because I pay for it post tax. I am not familar with the governments disability other than SSDI. Under SSDI your child would also be allotted an amount based on the years you have paid in to SS and your wages. I believe you should receive a statement every year stating what you would receive under SSDI for you and your child. If you make pretty good you will probably get the max which is not all bad. Do some investigation. Also you are been harrassed by your boss. You are protected by the law, learn about it and use it. For your sake and your child's. You deserve a good life. Hope this helps a little - Angelis


linda brown - October 22

disability is an option, just be sure to get a really good lawyer. i have applied as of jan. o6 and the judge is reviewing my case now. you can get your money, it takes a long time though, just call social sercurity office and apply by phone first. of course, they will denie it but thats when you appeal and get a lawyer. you'll need to see your docs or any specialits too. i had to go and take all kinds of test first, but it;s worth it because i can't work and i am a nurse. i too am having a very time trying to keep my home and pay bills. good thing i have a good working husband or i don;t know what i'd do. seems like they, (disability) want you to lose everything before they approve you. usually, if you have fibro, you have depression, arth. anger problems, nerve problems like anexity. talk to your doctor and see pain mgmt too. i'm just waiting for an answer on my case, good luck and don't give up


Robin1237 - October 23

Try checking on Lyme disease -- go read at If you think you recognize your symptoms there, the folks there can help you find a good Lyme-literate doctor in your area to work with re antibiotic treatment for the bacterial infection.



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