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FMS- What a pain in the ...
5 Replies
lovezoe7906 - April 5

I am beginning to believe I've had the symptoms of Fibromyalgia since I was a child. Which became a little worse in 2001 when I was involved in a car accident and majorly in 2006 when I had my baby girl.
I was diagnosed late last year. I wasn't a marathon runner but was pretty healthy minus the migraines slight back and joint pains. Although my meds seem to help, especially since the doc upped the dosage and when I remember to take them... I still feel helpless and lazy sometimes.
We have just recently moved, which has gotten me out of the funk of feeling guilty for not being able to clean like I used to. Even a sink full of dishes would kill me, especially after making dinner and watching my very active toddler all day! Our move is only a week old but I feel a little better (just wish we didn't have steps to bedrooms and down to laundry! But I can keep a clean house now, there's more space for me to be able to roll the other way to get up off the floor!!!
I think I've lost a little weight but I can't fully be happy about it because there is still that fog over my head, I still feel unattractive. And guilty because I can't get to the gym, either I am too exhausted or in too much pain from my new pain of the month! I just got xrays done and will find out Friday what was found. They'll probably just send me to a specialist as usual. Friday isn't coming soon enough!
I am sorry for rambling. My fiance is hit and miss about my syndrome, for the most part he's great ... but with the depression it seems like those times when he makes the faces eye rolls or "yells" at me for not resting (no rest with a 2 y.o.) come more often than the understand and favors and nurturing. Even though the good may outweigh the bad, I sometimes don't see it that way.
So me rambling here might help my anger in real life. I like writing but hate for it to be found in fear of someone taking it the wrong way.
Plus it feels good to know there are other people that are going thru the same things


axxie - April 8

Hello lovezoe7906

Well I completely understand about now wanting to clean up, when I'm in the kitchen I can look at the dishes pile up to be put in the dishwasher, I have to tell myself, u need to put the dishes in the dishwasher and maybe if I'm lucky on the third day I do it. Same with the laundry, I have to bring everything downstairs, so I throw my laundry in the stairs and when I'm able I take the clothes and then throw them down to the basement. The one good thing about laundry, is I bought myself the new front loaders and with the drawer underneath, no more bending and I seem to be able to do a load or two when I can. We are not feeling lazy, we are very tired, and with an active 2year old you must be exhausted. When the only thing is can you sleep when is having a nap, maybe that would help, problem is can you get up after the nap. Are you on medication of some sort, the new medication treat the anxiety and helps with the pain control and doesn't give you that bit more of will to do anything, but what I found is, taking a vitamin and taking B6,B12 for the first few days and then you can cut it down to just taking it in the morning. I does help.
As for boyfriend who rolls his eyes, my husband does that to me and I get very offended when he does it and I can go in a rage, he's somewhat learned that when he does that, I don't respond well and is starting to listen a little better. Some days I hate him others days I love him, but I found that if he rolls his eyes, I tell him right away that it offends me, and that he's not my parent, and he'd better stop it or I won't react well and I'll get very upset and I'll start having a fit. So to keep the peace in the house, he's trying hard not to do it, it's just a very bad habit that they probably got from his mother or dad.
So did the doctor put you on any medication to help you control your anxiety, pain and fibrofog?


tnichel - April 9

No need to apologize to us. We've all come here to rant at some point or another. The biggest problem I've found having fms... is how not to look at myself as lazy. On my days off I clean 1 maybe 2 rooms and I'm done. I don't have the energy for it.

I want to do a really good spring cleaning but mopping the kitchen floor put me down for the rest of the day so I don't know if it'll ever get done. It's got to be 10 times harder with a toddler.

If you can break your chores up into small tasks and take frequent breaks, that may help. I went thru my bedroom and threw away all the little knick-nacks and products I've collected over the years. clutter is our enemy and can get out of control when we don't have time for quick cleanups. Hopefully you will continue to approve and get more control over your life back. Come back to rant anytime. When i first did I thought everyone here would think me crazy. I was overwhelmed by all the support I received. Good luck and fibro hugs.


arobin - August 1

I know how you feel. I have a wonderful family and three very sweet kids, but there are times I feel like no one understands how I feel at all. My ex didn't understand, but that's not the only reason he is my ex. I feel bad too when I get mad at all of them for not understanding. I think I get a little paranoid too and think they are looking at me like I just want to lay around and do nothing. My mom said to me one time, "I know you like to take your days, but..." It made me mad and hurt me, but I think most of all I get mad at myself because I can't do everything I want to do. I am a very private person, so I am so glad there is this place to vent. I think it is much better to let it out.


wwhitfor - August 1

Well I agree with everyone who has posted on this site. It is hard from being an energectic go getter, and always being a clean freak, however now that my symptoms have progressed due to an accident, I do feel lazy, and much more depressed. My husband at time will moc me, and make fun of me, that i am wallowing in my sorrow, however there are times when he will give me a massage or rub my sore feet after working a 40hour week. Since i have returned back to work, emotionally i feel better, as i dont focus on my pain as much staying at home by myself, however I pay for it physically. We have 2 huskies, and they pull like crazy. Recently i have lost 40lbs so now i am much much lighter, therefore have no muscle too pull anymore. I try to tell my husband i cant take the dogs for a walk alone, but often he will roll his eyes, and say "oh you always say you are in too much pain." Sometimes I do wish he would understand, hence why he coming with me to my next doc appt, so my doc can explain to him about this sickness!!Maybe he will understand that cleaning the kitchen, and vacuming are only done on my good days!!This is very hard to overcome, however i think educating your loved one, by bringing him to your appts, he will begin to understand a little more, and maybe be a little more empathetic. Thanks for hearing me share. hiy hiy


FibroGal - August 4

I cannot keep up on the housekeeping, either. And being a homemaker is my occupation of choice. I chose to be a full-time stay-at-home mom 10 years ago when my 2nd child was born. That was just before I realized I had fibro.

But for the past year now I have been taking care of 7 people in my home: my husband, 2 teens, my youngest, my parents, and myself. They all help some now and then but the cooking and cleaning is primarily my responsibility.

I am one to need lots of sleep. I need 9-12 hours a day. If I don't get that straight through, I need an afternoon nap. My husband and teenage son poke fun at me for it. Sometimes in front of others at family gatherings, too. I wish I could find it funny. I wish I could laugh at myself. But I resent it. Sometimes my husband seems resentful because I get to sleep when he has to get up to go to work. It's as if I'm perceived as a kept woman, lazing about in my Turkish robe eating bonbons all day. I don't want to be thought of as that and I don't want to be thought of as an invalid, either. Yes, my fatigue is overwhelming. Yes, I ache so. I've lost 15 pounds the past 6 months because I am too stressed to eat regularly. However, while I want people to be understanding, I don't want people to constantly ask how I feel. And I despise it when I make plans I can't keep or there's a family gathering I can't attend because I'm sick. I hate the questions that come later because of it: what's wrong? Are you feeling better?

I want to have fun. And I find trying to plan to have fun is more stressful than being spontaneous but how can it be spontaneous when the husband has to schedule time off and the family has to be looked after? Sigh.

Someone made a really good suggestion about getting rid of the clutter. Oh, how I sooo need to do that. I have waaay too much stuff! And, yes, the knick-knacks, souvenirs, etc. are cute or pretty, but they are in the way. I have a finished basement that would look nice if it weren't for the clutter, the boxes of stuff that my family and my parents have accumulated over the years. I can't wait to clear it out. While I know I can't allow myself to feel guilty for what I can't do, it would be so much gentler on my mood if floors, counters, and tabletops were clear of the junk mail, knick-knacks, and useless crud that sits there now.



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