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Wife praying for a miracle
6 Replies
ShmorgCT - July 28

My husband has been fighting fibro since 1999 and his care has been anything but good. I am wondering when physicians will start refering to fibro as a real disease. Due to the many meds my husband is on and his continuos pain he has started to withdraw from life. He has already withdrawed from his friends, work and family. His focus for the past 5 years has been on his pain medication. Well due to his missing appointments his doctor has cut him off of his medication and told him to seek the care of another doctor. He cut him off of his medication completely and today is his first day of Oxycodone withdrawal. His depression is severe and I am concerned. I spoke to the doctor's nurse and wondered where my instruction are. What is normal withdrawal and what is not and she was extremely smug and spoke to me like I was an idiot. We went to pain Management and that dr was unbelievable. I could not believe a dr could be so rude and judgemental. He refered to fibro as so-called and told my husband that he needed goals. Getting up to play with his two boys was not enough. How could a pain specialist not understand the sheer goal of getting out of bed? He also ridiculed him for not working. I make a decent living and the choice for my husband to stay home was so that if he did have good days he could spend them with his children. The dr cut us off in mid sentence and asked him questions like "What did you eat for lunch?" my husband answered Peanut Butter and the Dr asked "What kind?" my husband answered "skippy". The whole time the Dr. was short and insulting. We have been to every kind of provider we could think of Acupuncture, Naturalist, Buddist Preists, Boston. Everywhere to get help but have hit dead ends. Dr.'s have treated us badly and as my husband has gained wait with the disease it has gotten worst. Let me have a miracle to get through this week. I am scared and I want my husband back. I miss him so much.Any advice?


bbass - July 29

Oh I am so sorry to hear about your situation! Don't give up, I am sure you guys will find a supportive doctor. I don't know if your husband has tried cymbalta? It helps with the depression and the pain. He is definitely fortunate to have such a supportive wife...I imagine it is even harder for a man to have fibro...because it's not as common.
Several people say to go to the national fibromyalgia website...maybe you can search through the entries...but they have a place that you can search for fibro friendly doctors in your area. Sorry I can't help you, but hang in there.


ShmorgCT - July 29

Thanks for your caring words. Today was very difficult. He wants to give up. I keep pushing him to hang in. He is on Cymbalta and I can see the difference with that medication instantly. I just need to get through these next few days with him and he will be better I keep telling myself. I am not always the best wife. It is hard carrying the load. My oldest son has autism and between that, work and home I am not sure how I get through the day. I am not always happy or nice and I miss my old husband so much I can't explain. Give me strength!


bbass - July 30

I can totally relate to losing your husband. About 2 years ago my husband suffered a severe nervous breakdown. he has taken so many different meds, because he has atypical or medication resistant depression, anxiety, and ocd. I pray every day for the strength and endurance to get through it. I miss my husband too! Recently he has been put on Cymbalta also and has improved's hard not to get too hopeful. But to have your husband sick and your child needing so much care, my heart really goes out to you. My favorite saying is words from the Bible, "sufficent to each day is it's own badness" Or you just have to take it each day, do the best you can. I hope you are not alone, I hope you have some supportive family or friends. That is what has helped me alot, with my own illness and that of my husbands. Also, dont forget to take care of yourself. It sounds like you are running low...if you are not careful you might suffer adrenal fatigue. Try to do something that you enjoy. That relaxes you, and give the Cymbalta time to work. Hope that helps?


Fantod - July 31

OMG - I have read your post a couple of times and I am still incredulous. What Dr in their right mind would take a patient off of a narcotic drug and leave them to handle withdrawl on their own. That is criminal all by itself. You have every right to be concerned.

From your post, I am guessing that you live in CT and probably close to Boston. Have you called Mass General and spoken to their physician referral service to find a rheumotologist and/or a pain specialist with an interest in Fibromyalgia (FMS)? You can also go online to the National Fibromyalgia Association website and register. Then you can see a list of healthcare providers in your area. There are still plenty of doctors out there who think FMS is a figment of our collective imaginations. FMS is recognised by the National Arthitis Foundation and the Center for Disease Control. Any doctor who does not recognise it is living in the dark ages.

Does you husband have a therapist? If not, you need to find one in your area who deals with chronic illness (google "your city, chronic illness and clinical psychologist"). If he won't go (men!) than you go and talk to someone. Your stress level is horrendous and you need support as much as he does. Maybe if you start the process, he'll agree to go for the sake of the family unit.

As for the doctors you have encountered, they should all be reported in writing for their terrible and unprofessional behavior. I would report them to the state medical board, your health insurance carrier and the hospital system that they are affiliated with. I know that this sounds like a tall order. If you are proficient on the computer you could write one letter and just cut and paste the necessary names and addresses. If they did it to you and your husband, they are certainly doing it to other people.

There is a new medicaton on the market called Savella which is for FMS. It has been used in Europe for quite sometime and was approved for use in USA earlier this year. I use Cymabalta myself and it is helpful. Unfortunately, I am extremely sensitve to medication. I can't tolerate a higher dose of Cymbalta or Savella at all. If you can find a doctor who is on the ball about FMS, they may be able to effect some positive changes. However, I think it is crucial that a clinical psychologist be part of the team too. If things really progress downhill, I'd take your husband to Emergency and have him admitted.

I hope that things are better by the time that you read this. My heart goes out to you and your family for a variety of reasons. Take care, keep in touch and let us know how we can help.


pfiinch - August 31

ShmorgCT,Oh my god i am new to this forum and I really would like to talk with you!! I just saw this from JUlY 28. I am going to look on the board for you this is very serious of detox from OYICOTIN it is deadly and if something happen to husband youwould be able to sue him No matter how sick your husband is never ever miss the DR.s appointment.Pain management is vey serious and they do cut you off but usually they have to give instructions and medications to wing off this stuff.I myself have detoxed from it and it was like being in a horiad movie.I am sorry but it sounds like he messsed up big time not going to his appt. There are so many people pain management that they get that way because honestly it sounds as because of his pain he missed them,but that is when the Dr.really needs to see him.


kariered - December 31

I just saw this post and I wanted to comment. My fiance has had FMS for 2 1/2 years. He's had severe, awful, awful pain, couldn't get out of bed, go to work, much less function normally. He did the pain management specialist thing for about a year. There was so much crap to deal with when he was going to this doctor. He would build up a tolerance to the meds, then we caught his own brother stealing his meds as well as a friend. It was a mess. His pain dr did leave him without medications more than once and he did go into withdrawal. He was in bed for over a week solid. It wasn't pretty. Other drs accused him of lying about his pain just to get meds. I knew the man before this horrid pain began and I know him after. I remember going with him to the pain dr his first time and crying to the dr to help him--that he wasn't the same person anymore and couldn't live life like a normal person.

I made it a point to read up on FMS as much as I could. I was in a used bookstore and came across a book called "The Chronic Pain Solution Your Personal Path to Pain Relief" by James Dillard, MD. In the book it talks about methadone being a very effective painkiller for people who easily build tolerance to opioids/have trouble with them. You can get methadone in a dr's office too. The book describes a patient who went on methadone. Because she went on methadone she had much less pain and was able to get up and do things, get moving. All of that helped her pain too. Over time she was able to get off the methadone and take less and less painkillers, but the methadone helped get her started.

My fiance has been on methadone now for almost a year and it has helped him tremendously!! He has been working and has hardly missed any days, and he can function much much better.

I know methadone has a bad association because it was originally made for drug addicts. But methadone has been studied more and more and is a great painkiller. You also do not get "high" from it or loopy (if you have the right dosage) like you would from a pain pill.

I suggest reading up on it, try googling it sometime.

Just a suggestion. Your husband right now sounds a lot like how my fiance used to be.



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