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My husband thinks I make it up.
38 Replies
jenny - July 15

colleen...just dump him.

 

colleen - July 15

Hi Jenny...That is my plan but I have no income as of yet.But as soon as I do he is a goner.I know its true everyone tells so.I feel like I am being punished sometimes.But I'm tough enough to deal.If not he will just have to go sooner. Thank you for the advice though.

 

Chris - July 19

Hi Colleen, Spondylosis affects the spine, the nerve canals narrow and all kinds of crappy things happen. It can bother your eyes, hands, legs, and some people with Fibro suffer with both. I was in an accident a long time ago and was thrown from the car. I think most of my neck problems are related to that. There are a lot of web sites that explain it, just do a search for Cervical spondylosis. There is also Ankylosing Spondylosis too. If you need anymore info, just contact me here and I'll get back as soon as I can. I hope you find some peace. Chris.

 

Chris2 - August 3

Hi Colleen, just wondering how you are getting along. It's been along week for me. I was off yesterday with pain issues. Hope things are getting better for you. Take care, Chris2

 

Colleen - August 5

Hi Chris..I have had a bad week too,it really sucks.I am sorry to hear you are not feeling good too.Everything with me and my husband hasn't changed.Thank God I have family and friends who do understand and believe my illness is real, otherwise I would go stark raving mad.I am just trying to go with the flow for now.I try to stay in a good mood,but sometimes it is really hard.I looked up Spondylosis and it sounds awful I hope you don't have that.I really wish there was a good way to get more public awareness for fibro.I believe it would help us if they knew what fibro really is like.I even e-mailed Oprah and Montell to see if one or both would do a show about it,maybe I should e-mail Dr.Phil.lol.Well I hope you are feeling better and to continue to feel good.Best to you....Sincerly Colleen

 

Chris2 - August 10

Hi Colleen; Sorry to hear things haven't improved for you. Stress really doesn't help Fibro people. I've been away for a few days here, went to the doctor yesterday. I had a bunch of x-rays of my neck and lower back done, and I guess I've got to go in for a CT scan of my neck. I was on Tramacet, but it wasn't working and I'm still trying the Arthrotec for the arthritis. That stuff is hard on the stomach though, so I probably won't take it too long. Well, I hope you have a great week, and that life smiles on you. Yours in Healthy Living, Chris2

 

George - September 19

If anyone needs to know how much pain we fibros are in, you can tell by the medication that's effective. I'm really lucky and live in an area where the doctors are fairly aggressive in their treatment of fibromyalgia. I am on Lyrica, Kepra, and Cymbalta to treat the nerve part of the fibro pain and on fairly high doses of Fyntanyl (not sure of the spelling) to treat the physical part. Fyntanyl is synthetic morphine. I have to use Percocet for the pain spikes. All of these meds together give me back about 60% of my functionality. So if you need to know how much pain you are in, basically, the only thing that works is morphine in conjunction with pain killers for the nervous system. Maybe your spouses can appreciate that!!

 

AmberRose - October 1

Wow i think anyone that pokes youand you say it hurts should be smacked..whether or not they are a man or woman...thats liek poking at an animal after its been beating...shakign the bed while you are tryign to sleep my god! if only peopel like could literally walk a day in your shoes! Before i was diagnosed my husband would allways poke to say hey and i would be ohhhhh that hurts ..and it didn't make any sense but he allways felt bad and told me sorry he never meant to hurt me ever! And now that i have a name for my condition my husband totally understnads that im sick he dsnt undersand fully what fibromyalgia is but he is defintly compasionate about the fact that im sick..he can notice a difference from 5 years ago when we got together jsut by how tired i am! I would say and not to offend you that what your husband does is abuse may not warrant a divorce but he needs to understand NOW what you are goign through. That can defintly damge your whole self worth i would think. Just eharing that makes me want to give you a hug and tell you everything will be okay. and then i would tell your husband a thing or too!

 

colleen steele - October 2

Hi AmberRose,Thank you for responding.You are very lucky to have a good husband.I have known my husband for 5 years also.I really wish I had taken more time.I never would have married him.You are right he is abusing me in some form.I was married 2 other time and almost wish I would have kept one of them!! Just joking. The ideal situation would be that I were alone.I was single for 28 years,and I do miss it terribly.I walk around on eggshells all the time as not to piss him off to much.I really feel like he could take it to the next level,if he ever hit me he would hurt me very badly.He is way bigger than me and I have seen his rage.I am kinda afraid of him.I don't really love him anymore. When I had a really bad flare up last month my sister and nephew had to come over and take care of me.I was obviously very very sick too.Couldn't even get out of bed.And the worst part was that he was home.I have had fibro for many many years ,I just didn't know what it was.I came home and told him and he was like "sure you are". He didn't care from the beginning.I really do he wish he could walk in my shoes for about a week.But he would most likely say it's not so bad.Then I would wish a 4 day flare up on him. He "supposedly "has diabetes but you would not believe how much sweets and junk he eats.So I don't happen to believe it is as bad as he says.He just has to be sicker than me.Lord forbide I get any attention.So I show him about as much care as he shows me.He will go to the most expensive Dr. and pharmacy he can find,I think so there is not enough money for me to go.Little does he know I have secert money.So the joke is on him. You sound like my friends and family about hugs and telling him off and I appriecate that.I am pretty strong mentally and pretty much know how to handle him.I thank God every day for friends and family.And my Dr. whom I have told him almost everything and he is so good,and he makes sure I can afford him and the meds.I don't know if you read my post on a different thread about his mother,but knowing her I learned alot more about why he is this way and it makes me love him even less.I am trying to get disability and medicaid and if and when I do get it I will finally be rid of him and hopefully all this stress.My Dr.has me on 3 different anti depressents.Which I don't care to take but it helps.Anyway I always ramble on here but it is good therepy for me .Thanks for listening.Again thank you for your kind words and I hope you are in good health and that you stay that way............Sincerly Colleen

 

JenV - March 13

Colleen
I have just signed up to this site and hope you are still reading the messages. I want you to know that you have options...and if your family will take u in until you get some financial aid...disability. Not to hurt your feelings but you are staying a victim and he is abusing you....you cannot change him but you can change your situation...I have been divoriced for 12 years had fibro for 13 of those years..my marriage sounds similar to yours. I have yet to find a mate that understands even though I took 2 of them to the doc to recieve cordizone injections..VERY PAINFUL!...They were selfish as your husband is...I believe abusive people have this in their core and cannot change unless they want to and most dont think they are wrong...care about yourself and get out....You are worth it!

 

colleen steele - March 14

Hi JenV, Thank you for your concern.Everything you said is true. I wish staying with family were an option,but none of them are in a position to help me. My family is pretty small and they have health issue's also. My sister has a brain tumor and is on disability already.She is also bi-polar too. It takes almost everything I have just to keep my eye on her,and my mom is on a fixed income to and I pretty much take care of her too. Fortuantly they live in front of me and on side of me so I don't have to go far to get to them. So there is really no one else. As for my husband ,not a whole has changed, I really am not trying to change him,but he percieved himself to be a different person when we first met . I guess I want that back,but I know that will never happen. I have got him to understand the fibro a little bit and just when I think he cares a little bit he will make some kind of snide remark like calling me a pill head because I am on a lot of medication.Then yesterday I went to Dr. and found out I have pluresy and my blood pressure was 120/100.So now I have that on top of the fibro,the carpel and everything else.And he still will shake the bed when I try to nap in the daytime. What makes me so mad is that I was single and independant for 28 years before this. Now I am sick and dependant on this.I did kinda put my foot down and told him I am going to thr dr. no matter what , so that has been ok. So I will have to wait and see what happens. It's really all I do for now. I spend alot of time with my grandson and that makes me very happy. My daughter is pregnant with her second so I have that to look forward to.I only had one child so I will probally only have the two grankids.I cherish that so much. My grandson loves to be with me.I just love him so much. Anyway I am rambling again as I always do on this forum when I do write,but I do read it almost every day.
Don't worry I am pretty strong mnded and I do have people watching my back if it were to turn violent.. Again thank you so much.It is nice to know people care. Take care and I hope this finds you in good health............Colleen

 

bonnie52 - May 18

My husband thinks I exaggerate my illness. He thinks that there is no way I can have this many problems.

 

colleen steele - May 20

Hi,Bonnie52...I Have been trying to get on this forum for weeks now and couldn't remember how to enable cookies.I got it now [ duh ] I always knew how to do that ? Anyway I so totally relate to you.My husband has not changed a bit. He is the same way. I bought a cane recently because some days the pain in my hip and knee are so bad I need help. I can't lean on him for many reasons but one is that he walks about 10 feet ahead of me if in fact we actually go anywhere together. He freaked out when he saw it. Saying what did I need that for ? I told him [ as if he didn't already know,but refusing to believe ] that I could not walk well on some days. He made a phisssh noise and walked off. I guess he would be so embarrassed if I were to use it in his company. But I don't care anymore really I have to think of me for a change. I am really afraid of falling. I live in New Orleans and it stays humid all the time and I am sure this attributes to the pain in my joints. So I will use the cane pretty much. I know I am rambling as usual , so I will close with good luck to you , I know it is hard but try to think of your health no matter what he believes or says. ........Sincerly Colleen

 

thendria - August 8

Colleen,I was having issues like that with my boyfrieind but it was not so much that he did not believe me but that he does not believe in the medical field.I think he changed his mind one day because he was playing and grabbed my thigh and within seconds we watched the blood rise to the surface and make bumps in the shape of his fingers.He has not touched me again like that.But like your husband he still does not want to know.I know it is that he is afraid but like I tell him I am afraid to but I am only 31 and I am not going to let this beat me.

 

Robin1237 - September 20

Hi all -- people need to know that we're ill! And what we're ill with is...Lyme disease, a bacterial infection that inflames our nerves and soft tissue and causes havoc with our functioning. I found out last year that my fibromyalgia of 25 years is actually Lyme disease. I was bit by a tick on my foot in 1981(Lyme can also be acquired by being bitten by other insects, as well as human transmission). I had no symptoms at the time. Symptoms started three months later with sore shoulder muscles, then a stiff neck, then full-blown muscle pain that docs declared fibromyalgia. Last year I got bloodtested for Lyme, came back positive, went on clindamycin antibiotic 150 mg 4x/day and the fibro pain went to zero in one week. Please go read at www.lymenet.org/FlashDiscussion/MedicalQuestions. People there can answer all your questions and help you find a Lyme-treating physician.

 

linda brown - October 8

yes, and all i can say is tell him that he don' t get it because he don't got it honey. and anyway, after he sees you going through what we do, he'll know that this is for real. but make copies of the things you;ve read and have him go to the doc with you. my husband does and he finally believes in this and can explain it to others. hang in there

 

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