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Help. I am withdrawing and don't know how to handle it
3 Replies
RavenFax - June 27

I try to be as informed about the things going on in my body as possible. I mean it IS my body. I see many different sources say that talking about it helps. I have begun withdrawing from many of my friends because when I learn something new and try to discuss it, I see them roll their eyes. be it mental or physical. I feel like they are thinking " Oh, no, not again. Get over it." Some times I feel like I am being tuned out. I makes me want even more to just stay on my couch. I mean this is hard enough dealing with them when they assume I am able to do something and have to cancel because I am feeling bad. I don't want to lay on my couch. I want to be out there pro shopping, playing at the zoo with my kids. I feel like they think its all in my mind. I have sent them all the link to this website. I guess I should consider myself lucky that my spouse and his mom are on board. My spouse is trying. He really thought I was just a lazy slob until he heard the diagnosis and started reading up. Now he is doing the dishes helping me with laundry and cooking dinner when I just don't have it in me. heck even when I do have it in me he helps to make sure i keep my energy. I am a social butterfly and feel like i am reversing into my cocoon.

:/ Raven


RavenFax - June 27

Oh and can anyone tell me a diplomatic way to tell one of my friends that my issues with short term memory loss isn't because I am getting older. I mean I am only 41!


axxie - June 27

RavenFax, never mind trying to discuss with your friends, it won't help them understand.

As for the fibrofog, I just let it be, I've learned to not talk when I'm in a flare, because I sound like I'm drunk or high on some drugs, if they only knew.....

Other times, I stay close to home, trying not to do much, except putter around the garden or talk to my cat.

I've found that Cymbalta and a diet rich in fibre and no sweets, coffee, and junk food, keeps me level headed and in no pain.

My walks consist of walking the mall or at 5a.m. when I've been awake all night.

So if you think you have to tell your friends, why don't you find one true friend, where you can meet for a cup of coffee, don't whine or complain, just mention it in passing, something that might have happen and you don't comprehend and just turn it into a joke, humor is the best medicine with fibro......yours friends will never get it, if they don't suffer from it, and we are easily able to complain about it, but it's not the answer.

As for when you see your doctor, have a list of problems or concerns, you don't whine, therefore the doctor will take you seriously. The doctor is not a shrink, they only want to know, how you are and what can they do to help you. I found a list keeps me on track and I'm less likely to forget.

Complaining doesn't amount to much and it actually only drags you down even more.

Hope it can always complain and whine on the board here, that's what it's for.


L Light - July 24


After reading your words I thought I would share my writing ... I hope it helps.

After reading the blogs in some of these chat rooms, with much heart, I felt compelled to write. I was so astounded by the amount of women on medication (suffering the awful side effects - physically and emotionally), uninformed in understanding FM's hideous true nature, and frustrated by the lack of genuine understanding and support from the medical system. I want to take this opportunity to share the knowledge I have experienced 'first hand' and learned over time. I have had FM since 2006 and truly have learned to respect the depth of the message behind it.

Not all people share the desire of reasonable independence in health care; avoidance of the medical system 'taking charge' of your life. For those that do, I hope you find the following information helpful and somewhat relieving. If you would like to discuss further understanding in working with FM, I would be most pleased to talk with you. You can reach me at: natureintime at gmail dot com.

FM is becoming well-known as a condition that researchers and individuals who have experienced it, believe may be related to chronic fatigue syndrome. Reportedly muscles begin to ache in response to stress, lack of sleep, an injury or infection, or another trauma or disease. Pain might develop gradually and affect a wide area, or it may come on suddenly and sharply in specific areas. You might feel burning, stiffness, shooting pain, or an overall throbbing sensation. The soreness can center on the shoulders, the hip or upper thigh muscles, or the elbows and knees.

Perhaps FM's most distinguishable features are that the aches are often accompanied by anxiety, depression, fatigue, or an inability to sleep (thus making healing virtually 'un-cope-able' at times). Doctors often call the sleep disturbances non-restorative sleep; you may be able to drop off, but when you awake you don't feel rested. In fact, you may be even more fatigued. Sometimes intermittent sleep patterns accompany this condition, only to worsen the symptoms overall.

Symptoms of FM may worsen during periods of stress, overexertion, trauma, extreme temperature, infection, or emotional crisis. Although FM isn't dangerous or life-threatening, it can be very disruptive. Curiously, it is seldom seen outside of Western industrialized countries, leading researchers and people with FM to theorize that lifestyle or dietary factors play a role.

Unfortunately, FM is easily mistaken for other kinds of pain. But anti-inflammatory drugs such as naproxen and ibuprofen seldom lessen FM pain.

*** As an individual who has experienced FM since 2006, in some profoundly disturbing ways (i.e. swelling of knees, inability to walk, awful anxiety, pain, insomnia, etc.), I tell all of you, there is definite "light" at the end of this tunnel in life. I have not used 'any' of the new drugs put on the market and have come through each 'flare-up' or 'episode' with a better and clearer understanding of how my body is dealing and coping with each crisis period. At my absolute worst periods (twice) I took prednisone to bring the swelling down in my knees and intermittently have taken pain medication when absolutely in need. Bottom line, your personal understanding is your best remedy and future healing potential.



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