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who would ever want me like this????
7 Replies
jane - June 22

I have FM. I used to be a beautiful blonde girl with my whole life in front of me. I was a dreamer. I wanted love, a husband, kids, travel. all of those things have faded a million miles away over the past 5-6 years since this bullshit pain started! I fucking hate this!!!! I want my life back. The life I'll never get to have....

My family has been the biggest disapointmant of all. Of course they can't REALLY understand, but they barely seem to care. I get the impression that they really don't want to hear about any of it. So now I lie about it & say I'm fine, when clearly I'm not. I love them so much & it cuts to the bone how abandoned I feel by them, I would never put conditions on my support like they do. If someone would have told me that this was the way I would be treated by those who love me most if I became ill... I would have NEVER believed it. If your own mother & sister barely care who the hell else will?

Being in constant pain sucks. My chest pain is insane, all the meds & depression, the weight gain, hopelessness. I hate who I've become most of the time, I don't recognize the reflection staring back at me in the mirror. I wonder if I'll ever be in love again, who would want this? I just wish it could all end sometimes, I'm 30 & so damned tired...

Thanks for listening, I'm usually not so dire & depressing. I just really needed to vent tonight.

god bless you all




 

Chris - June 19

Hi Jane; I hope you are feeling better. This disease seems to cause so many social problems too. Family and friends can't seem to look at you quite the same. You look fine, so they can't imagine that we really do hurt. I'm very sorry that you have to go through this. I've had Fibro for about the same length of time as you. I still can't believe the way we are treated. Sometimes the medication is only makes things worse. Always be careful of your medications, I'm not on any right now, I hurt a great deal, but sometimes you have to put your head down and just keep going. You have to study this disease, and try to find things that work for you. Good Doctors seem to be hard to come by, and the bad ones don't care about what they are doing to you. Being lonley seems to be my way of life now, I don't get out as often as I used to. I used to like camping and fishing, and although I still like it I don't get to do it. I find being a man with this disease most of my male friends don't want much to do with me. It's ok now, I study and try to find things to do alone. And sometimes I come here to meet really good people like myself that have much the same problems as I do. I wish you all the best Jane, and just remember, be good to yourself. Even if others don't seem to care, you care. And, there are always people here willing to listen, most of us have seen much of the same things. I'm around here quite a bit, and look forward to hearing from you. Be Well, Yours in Health, Chris.

 

jane - June 20

thanks chris. your kind words meant a lot to me. I was in a really dark place yesterday. I just stumbled across this site last week. it seems like a great place. I'll be back later. take care you.

 

Chris - June 21

Hi again Jane; We all get to go to that place sometimes. That's the grea thing about this place, people have been there too. Yours in Healthy living, Chris

 

Judy - June 21

Hi Jane, I know how you feel I too had a great life before all this. I just married a man about 8 years younger then my self and we had a great life together, I started Fibro pain while PG with twins, then a car accident put me in total pain and disable. Thank God I have a wonderful husband who stands by me even if it is hard to deal with, everyone says you look so good for someone so sick!!!!!!!! I hate that. I too have real bad chest pain. try to hang in there ..I hope you feel better soon..

 

Rebecca - June 21

Hi Chris. I'm a single mother with fibro and I understand how you feel. I started having symptoms after my son was born and just wish I could go back to the way things used to be. I feel like it is hard enough to meet people when you're feeling good, much less with a condition like fibro. I'm sorry your family isn't suportive but remember, you are not alone. We'll be here for you. :)

 

Chris - June 21

Hi Rebecca; I hope you are feeling better too.
Life is far too short to let Fibro get in the way.
At least there is one place to go to where people treat you well, and that's here. I wish that you could get your life back, at least I'm ok with being alone. It's hard on some people. You take care, yours in Healthy living, Chris

 

Dani - June 22

Rebecca.
I know that some days are worse than others-and desperation is easy to give into on those days- I have flare ups that lasted 2-3 weeks at a stretch. Please don't give up- there is always help - I will be in prayer for you and I urge you to pray too. I have an awesome support system with my church group, where 2 of the ladies have had fibro and they understood. I urge you to find that support system somewhere in your community and know that love can find you even if you are in pain! I have been dealing with this condition for 20+ years and I know that it is easy to think about what you don't have instead of what you do have.Every good day i have, I give thanks and wish it could be this way all the time.
Treasure those days and meditate on them- and know that you are not alone. I just discovered this site today and I am giving thanks for that even though i have a migraine and hurt all over.
People don't understand, but don't let that stop you from reaching out- God can put people in your life that DO understand!
Blessings and Healings,
dm

 

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