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Ugh insensitive Family and friends!!!!
3 Replies
tr - July 7

I just posted something that will help all my "friends and family " to understand what I am going thru. I am not looking for any one to feel sorry for me. I usually go out of my way to hide how I am feeling. but on those occasions when I just can't fake it, I want those close to me to understand and give me space. I don't want to hear that I am lazy, or that I need to push my self. Or that it's just old age! or one of the countless thoughtless things people say! So I found a video on youtube that I thought said it all and sent it out and guess what? Only a few bothered to view! The gloves are off! I gave them an oppuntunity to get some answers and some clarity! If one of these "people" say any thing stupid to me it will be hard not to tell them to go jump in the lake! It is getting so that I don't want to be around people any more. I am tired, and I am in pain. I hurt all the time and I don't care what they think about it anymore!!!!!


Pikespeak - July 7

What Youtube video did you find? I sympathize with you...I have a couple of friends who aren't very understanding, so they're on my list to avoid. It's harder if it's family. Don't judge if they haven't watched the video yet--there could be a million reasons why. I don't see/respond or watch probably half of what others want me to...perhaps you can follow up with a gentle reminder how much it would mean to you if they would look at it?

I now tell people that I have FMS, and that due to my limitations, I can't promise anything. Today was a GREAT DAY, but who knows how I'll feel tomorrow! I do try to pace myself, have weaned myself off of caffeine, sugar, gluten and sodas. I have started researching vitamins and supplements and am juicing my own veggie tonics. I guess what I am saying is that I have taken a very pro-active stance on my war against FMS--and nothing is going to stand in my way!

You will find a way to get your point across. Sometimes NO speaks volumes!


snapdragon79 - July 7

Hi TR, I totally know how you feel, and I'm sorry your suffering like this not only with your illness but with selfish, self centred people that can't understand and even want to understand! I have come to the conclusion that people like this don't deserve your time! I have lost many friends and even some family, who thought I was just a lazy, hopeless, spoiled only child! I have been told by my partners mother that I would just be a liability to there family if we were to ever get married...I will never forgive her for this, and I aviod her at all costs, so does my partner. have you read "the letter to normals" in the family members section of this forum? its very comforting and sums up how we all feel. If these people in your life can't be bothered to understand or help you then there not worth having the blessing of your friendship! be strong and take a look at your true friends, the ones who will help and support you no matter what, remember its better to have 1 friend who understands then 100 that don't!!!! I hope you feel better soon, we do understand and please remember your not alone, we are real people with real feeling, don't let people drag you down, your worth more then that!


lucky13 - July 13

The "normals" will never understand what it's like to live with FMS. They will never understand what it's like to hurt everyday, to feel so exhausted that your body just can't go on. To wonder when they lay down at night, if tomorrow will be even worse.
That's one of the problems with FMS being an invisible disability. We don't look sick, we look "lazy" as your family put it. It would be different if we had cruches, a cane or wheelchair, then they could visualize that we have a problem, but because we don't have that, it's easy to push aside the feelings of FMS because they just don't know.
Next time a comment is made to you, instead of telling them to jump off a bridge, take the higher road, and call them out for thier rudeness. Tell them that thier comment was rude, not funny and you'd appreciate it if they'd be more considerate.



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