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Traveling long distances
12 Replies
jrzgirl - March 15

we have to sell our house, we plan on moving to SC. My husband wants to take a ride down this month but I cannot sit more than 1 hour without getting so much pain, it is a 14 hr drive, even stopping over night is to long, he wants us to look at homes down there and we are traveling with our Golden retriever,who is good in the car but I cannot sit in the car for that amount of time, I told him this but no decent answer. He knows what the dx's are. I cannot live like this, I go nowhere anymore because of the pain and freezing hands and feet


Noca - March 15

Try having multiple stops/rests along the way as well as having a heated car seat. Also keep your mind distracted with something like a book, just dont distract your husband while driving. This should make your trip less painful.

Hope this helps.


Fantod - March 15

Is there any way that you can leave room in the back to stretch out? I find my seat warmer really helps in addition to changing positions and stopping frequently.

Can someone give you the money or frequent flyer miles so you can fly and he can meet you at the airport?

I know you are completely overwhelmed right now and have been for a while. There has got to be a way to work this out. You will have to stand your ground if you have to go by car and insist that your needs are met. Take care.


Canada17 - March 15

It is important that your husband understands that if you sit in a car for 14 hours, when you get to your destination, you aren't going to be able to do anything. You might as well stay home because you're not going to be able to see the houses.

If you cannot afford to fly, maybe see about a train so that you can still get up and move around in transit. If not, then insist you get out every hour or so for a little break, even if you have to use the dog as an excuse.

My in-laws live a five hour drive away, and we make that with one or two quick stops along the way. I am exhausted by the time I get there and usually need a nap the following day. It's like I get jet-lagged. However, I do the driving so I can't just relax in the car.

I will try the seat warmer though, I think it will help with the back spasms I get while driving. I am very happy that our new truck has cruise control, my right ankle aches from the amount of city driving I have to do! lol


jrzgirl - March 16

the thought of me flying did come up but I would get there before him and no way to get to the airport.There is no where I can use the back to sit/relax so I would not b able to rest but thanks you all for your thoughts. I am in total body pain today and on pain meds, I went to bed feeling really bad and woke up the same way. I cannot do alot during the day so cooking and cleaning knocks me out.


jrzgirl - March 16

The pain is mostly in my legs,feet, hands and muscles, back pain is not so bad. The stress I get when he drives is terrible, so that will make for a miserable time, he will not stop every hour or so, before I even had this, he did not stop, only for gas and food, he drives 9 hrs straight, then I get migrane headaches, he is diabetic but that does not stop him from driving straight through, we do stop at fast food places because we can eat in the car as we travel, I just give up


Canada17 - March 16

You poor thing. Your husband really needs to come to terms with the fact that your body cannot sit for that long and most people, even though who don't have Fibro, have the same issue.

Fast food has no benefit to you, especially when you are doing something so painfully exhausting. As convenient as it is, you pay for it. Your husband, a diabetic, should know better than to sit for that long in a car without stretching. How anyone can hold their pee for hours at a time eludes me, though I do have a small, irritable bladder.

You could always take a taxi to the airport, or have a friend drive you. And, you can leave after him so that he can pick you up when you arrive down there. Sometimes all it takes is a little compromise to accommodate everyone. If he expects you to participate in these home viewings, he should be willing to bend a bit. If not, he might as well just go by himself.


fubrohubby - March 16

My wife has a heater/massage pad, she picked up at a drug store that plugs into the cigarette lighter/power port, that helps somewhat on long trips. You might also consider renting a car with more comfortable/heated seats.


Duo - March 16

You have my complete sympathy; this thing is bad enough without not having full support of our loved ones. Would it help for your husband to see this site. I honestly wouldn't even attempt that kind of journey unless I was going to have a couple of stops and an overnight stay at the half-way stage. Would that be an option? The very best of luck in whatever you decide to do - but please don't be bullied into something you know will almost certainly "cripple" you. I don't think you will be able to walk out of the car after that journey, so house-hunting will be impossible. Good luck and take care.


ptalana - March 16

I'm so sorry that your husband isn't willing to offer you the support you really need. It's extremely frustrating not having the freedom to come and go where ever. I know my 2 daughters and their families live almost 2hrs away and by the time we arrive I have to take my meds and relax for awhile before I feel half way normal. Sigh....
Jrzgirl what ever your decision is you have my support.
Your hubby really needs to be educated on the effects of Fms. Does he understand what you are going through? Would he be willing to read information on Fms if you were to give it to him?
I wish you all the best and hope you and your hubby are able to deal with this decision in a way that is not going to hurt you. Please stay strong.
Patty :)


jrzgirl - March 16

He would NOT read anything on here, I have explained what the DR. told me I had, he says he is in pain all of the time. I asked him if he would be able to stop every hour or two,,no answer, jokingly(I think) he said what am I going to do with you. You have to understand his whole family is like this and they live in Charleston,SC.I pray to God that we will not have to move, it will just get worse down there.


Canada17 - March 17

Pain from diabetes, it is my understanding, is more manageable/treatable than FMS pain. If your husband is in so much pain, why isn't he doing something about it?

My mom, who is a diabetic, often says, "Well I'm in pain too." when I explain the pain is preventing me from doing something. My husband's favourite thing to say about this situation is, "It's not a pissing contest."

His pain doesn't negate yours. If he is willing to make himself suffer that is his decision, but he cannot expect you to put yourself out because he has no compassion for your condition.

You have a difficult decision to make, I wish you all the best.


jrzgirl - March 18

I just give up



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