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TIRED AND IN PAIN
19 Replies
INPAINDAILYJC - August 10

Okay, so I just started a controlled release of Morphine (30 mg twice a day) with Tylenol #3 for breakthru pain.
It was working great for about the first month (even with all the side effects).
I am going on my second month and I am in so much pain today I want to cry and scream!
I am not sleeping at night (maybe a few hours, but not enough for me!) and I KNOW this is causing more problems. And the more stressed I am about what is going on, is causing the pain and the whole cycle to continue! This is never going to end is it? Is our lives at Fibro sufferers going to continue to be up and down so much and have so much pain]?
I am sorry if I am complaining, I am emtional and hurting.
I am actually at work tearing up while typing this!
Can someone please send some encouraging words my way? I have only been going through this for 3 years but I am ONLY 28 :(
Thanks for any and all support!

 

Stacey373 - August 10

Hi JC! I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time lately. since the morphine isn't working anymore...Have you called your doctor to let him know? Maybe the Doc can prescribe you something else. Not to mention...have you talked to the Doctor about giving you something stronger for the break thru pain? Tylenol 3 is NOT that strong and especially if the morphine isn't working very well...you NEED something stronger. Even regular Vicodin is stronger than Tylenol 3.

Anyways...I'm having a bad day today too. I just woke up...but I definitely feel like I've been hit by a truck and I'm SO tired. Hopefully once I get a cup of coffee in me, I feel a little better....hopefully!

I know how you feel....being so young and having to deal with this illness. I'm a little older than you (37...ok, ALOT older than you! LOL) but I still feel that I'm too dang young to be feeling THIS old! I think once you do find the "right" combination of drugs...you won't feel so "up and down" with this. I was just diagnosed with this 1 1/2 years ago...but I've been dealing with it for atleast 10 years and I've found ways to work around the problems. Like I've found what I need to take and do just to get some sleep....seems like alot of "trial and error".

okay...I really just wanted to tell you to "hang in there", you're not alone and if you need to talk...I'm always here to listen. Take Care, Stacey :o)

 

Fantod - August 10

Must be going around today - I also woke up feeling like I was hit by truck. Still not showered or dressed. Anyone with Fibromyalgia (FMS) and its "perks" deserves an Olympic medal for perserving in the face of adversity (new medal category). I'm sorry that you are experiencing so much pain today. You are not alone with it.

I agree with Stacey373 that you should speak to your doctor. Also, I am not sure why you would be using Tylenol 3 for breakthrough pain. Tylenol is not effective for the type of pain caused by FMS. Do you have a pain management specialist? If not, I would like to suggest that you find one. You can call your local hospital physician referral service and ask them for a recommendation. I think a fresh set of eyes on your situation is needed especially since you have so many underlying conditions.

We are all here for you. Try to focus on something/anything positive in your life. If you were not one tough individual, you would not be at work or asking for help/support from us. I'll be thinking of you as I try to soldier on through my day. Take care.

 

Noca - August 10

Hi JC, I'm sorry to hear your having a shitty day. I am only 24 and have been in pain for the past 4 years serving multiple life sentences of illnesses so I know how it feels. I am constantly drowsy, in pain and nauseous. We might have life sentences but we can have good days and bad days.

The only thing that touches my pain is Dilaudid IR pills and Fentanyl patches. Ask your doctor about them if you cant tolerate being in so much pain. Tylenol 3's are insults to prescribe to someone in your level of pain.

Hang in there!

 

INPAINDAILYJC - August 11

Thanks to all of you for responding!

I didn't understand why my doc gave me the tylenol #3 but I was just going to take them AS NEEDED.
And I guess I didn't want to admit the morphine isn't working already! But I will take the advice and contact my doctor ASAP. I need something else for breakthru and also maybe uping the morphine. Is Dilaudid stronger than morphine? Maybe I need to ask for that. I am seeing a new rheumatologist and hopefully she will help me with these problems. I will be seeing a Fibro Specialist in a few months. It is going to take some time to get in, but hopefully they will know how to help me too..

You are right, trial and error seems to be the ONLY answer for us Fibro sufferers.

Again, I TOTALLY appreciate all of your reponses and help..

Stacey, You are SO NOT A LOT older than me! If we are as old as we feel, I must be like 80+! lol I hope you get feeling better soon too!

Fantod, I tried a pain management specialist and they told me that there is NO MEDICATION to help me with Fibro. He wouldn't even give me the vics I was currently taking. He said I needed to exercise and it will give me my OWN MORPHINE. He was a COMPLETE ass and I will NEVER see him again. Maybe if I can get a better one, my life would be easier! lol Sorry that you aren't feeling well either :(

Noca,

I am sorry that you have so many things going on. Know that you aren't alone and I feel like I have a LIFE SENTENCE as well. It is so hard to stay positive and work and take care of my daughter. There are days I do not feel like I am a good mother...

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!!
Hope you feel better...Know that I am here too! :)

 

Stacey373 - August 11

I understand how you feel about some days feeling like you're not being a good mom. I have those days alot too. Thankfully my kids are older and they can pretty much take care of themselves. I've got a son who will be 17 this year, and 2 daughters who will be 12 and 10 this year. One of the things I've learned is to try not to make promises to them. It breaks my heart to have to cancel something we were planning to do and then I can't go do it that day. lately I've been making plans and then telling them that it all depends on how I feel, but eventually we will be able to do it even if it's not the original day we had planned to go.

Anyways....try not to be so hard on yourself over that. I know it's hard but I try to look at the positive and all the things I can do with my kids....even if it is only a grocery shopping trip to Wal-mart...at least we are getting out of the house and doing "something"! LOL

Take Care, Stacey :o)

 

toots2889 - August 11

Hi JC! I to am sorry to hear that your having a bad day. You arent alone, I to woke feeling like crap. Like Fantod, im still in my pajamas to. Definitely in the air, and im sure the weather has not been helping. I totally agree with them on the tylenol 3 issue.
Good luck and know that your not alone. We are all here for you, whenever you need us.

 

INPAINDAILYJC - August 11

Stacey,

I am so thankful to have other mothers that feel what I feel. I do'nt make plans with my daughter much either. We just go with how I feel. She is 8, but a majority of her life, she has had to be independent due to all of my health issues. I try not to be too down on myself. But I just wonder how this will effect her in the long run? And I WORRY CONSTANTLY that she is going to get this horrible condition from me. Do you ever wonder that? I know that with everything going on, I need to just take it easy and one day at a time. But that is soo hard! I have always been a thinker. Since I was little, I have always OVER analyzed things and also worried when there isn't a reason too.

toots2889
Thanks for the uplifting words and letting me know I am not alone! Wish you the best and hope WE ALL feel better!!

 

Noca - August 11

INPAINDAILYJC Dilaudid is 4 times stronger than Morphine.

 

INPAINDAILYJC - August 11

Noca,
Wow, 4 times stronger? That should work for me then. I am going to see if the doctor will just give me a higher dose of morphine and then also give me some vics for break thru pain. I don't see where Tylenol #3 are going to help me at all. I don't feel any relief from them. I dont want this new doctor to think I am a druggy, but I don't need to take meds that aren't going to help me! I need something that will!
How much do you take on a daily basis? I may have to look into that.

Thanks much!

 

Noca - August 11

INPAINDAILYJC - I take 8-16mg a day of Dilaudid and 25mcg/h Fentanyl patches.

 

Stacey373 - August 12

Hi JC! I definitely worry that one of my kids will get this. My oldest daughter already gets tons of headaches and my son is getting them more and more. But I think I worry more about my girls having ADHD than anything else. I've talked to their doctor and he told me that girls with ADHD are more likely to be "wild and crazy" at a very young age. (plus their meds wear off by night time when they will need it the most) My oldest daughter just started her period about 3 or 4 months ago and the doctor said now is the time to watch her closely and get her on birth control at the FIRST sign of anything. THAT scares the hell out of me! She's ONLY 11 years old! (will be 12 next month, but STILL just a baby!)

One of my worries is that I'm not one of those "soccer moms"...I've never really been able to take my kids to all the sports stuff or even volunteer at their school. It's just too hard to do stuff like that when most of my kid's lives I've been in bed once a week with a headache.

I also worry about not being a good "consistent" parent. I dont' know if it's the same with only 1 child in the house...but with 3 you need to have alot of structure and on some sort of "schedule" (especially with my girls being ADHD) and I think one of my biggest failings in raising them is that I've never been able to stay consistent. I would try for a few days or so and then inevitably I would end up with another headache and be down for days again. It's just too hard to stay on them about chores and what-not when I'm in bed more than I'm not. does that make sense?

Somehow I ended up with 2 kids that are "clean freaks" ....but my youngest is like a tornado...she walks into a room and it's destroyed in 15 minutes or less! LOL

Anyways....there are days when I feel like I've let my kids down. I'm extremely lucky to have a teenager who is responsible and mature and doesn't get into any kind of trouble and even does well in school. But I worry that at some point I've failed them and I hope they don't feel that way as they get older. Do you ever feel that way?

Sorry for rambling...Take Care, Stacey :o)

 

INPAINDAILYJC - August 12

Stacey,
I do feel the SAME way! I feel as if I am not consistent. It def becomes a challenge raising kids when you have Fibro. Do you have a spouse? See, I have been raising my daughter all by myself. SO it has been VERY VERY hard. And I have to choose what fights to pick. My daughter is a MESSY child. Her room is a disaster! Half the time I don't even care. I mean, I would rather use MY LITTLE BIT OF ENERGY on playing a game or reading a book with her, then arguing for her to clean up her room.

I imagine it is easier when you have someone else around. Unless you end up with another KID and you have to clean and care for them as well!

I def worry that my daughter will look at others moms and see that I am not the TYPICAL mom, or resent me later in life because I couldn't do the things she wanted.

We went to Michigan Adventures a couple of weeks ago on a Friday. The next day, I was in the bed until after 2pm! So tired and sore and it was just horrible!

Hang in there Stacey! We will make it through!~ I can give you my email if you would like to stay in touch that way as well :)
TTYL

 

Stacey373 - August 12

Hi JC! I know how you feel about doing something with your daughter and then "paying" for it the next day. For the first time EVER I volunteered to chaperone my son's Biology class to go to the zoo. I figured it would be easy because I was dealing with teenagers and not little kids. I swear the next day I literally felt like I'd been hit by a truck! I couldn't believe it! i couldn't even move out of the chair! I hadn't really done anything that should cause me to feel that way...it was actually a pretty relaxing day!

Tomorrow we are taking the kids to the County fair. It's a very small one but I know that by the end of the day or the next day I will be dying. But I guess those are the sacrifices we make so that our kids can still do fun things, right?

Yes, I am married. I was a single Mom for the first 5 years of my son's life. But my husband is going to school right now to change careers while construction isn't doing so good and he is barely here and when he is...he's usually on his PC doing homework and is completely oblivious to what's going on around him. So I guess you could say that I "feel" like I'm having to do EVERY thing all by myself.

I'm still not so sure that my husband understands I literally have to pick what "activity" I'm going to do each day. If I do "this" then I can't do "that" and so on. And I'd much rather spend time with my kids when I have the energy to do it.

I have to go to a doctor appt now...but I would LOVE to get your email address and talk more. I'm using my husband's old email address right now....you can write me at red61677 (AOL.com) Hopefully the website will let me write it out that way! LOL

Thank You for listening to me complain too! I really appreciate it! Take Care, Stacey :o)

 

INPAINDAILYJC - August 16

I hope this doesn't sound bad, but I am glad that I am not alone with this horrible condition. I have been doing so much thinking lately about this and how I feel. I think I am now angry. Does anyone get angry? And wonder WHY we were chosen to go through this? I know i will get over it. As I know it could ALWAYS be worse. But I can't help but think right now (in the middle of a BIG FLARE) what did I do to deserve this???!

Stacey, I will def send you an email. I haevn't been myself lately, LOADS of pain and just depressed. I apologize that I haven't gotten back with you sooner. I will sure keep in touch.

I hope everyone else is doing alright!

Again, please don't take offense or think I am this RUDE HORRIBLE person. I just get tired of being in pain :(

 

Fantod - August 16

Who wouldn't be angry having to deal with FMS day in and day out? Honestly, there are days when I would like to throw the biggest temper tantrum the world has ever witnessed. Unfortunately, I just can't spare the energy to do it - lol. What I am trying to tell you is that your feelings are perfectly normal and totally understandable. It is OK to be angry as long as you handle it in a positive way. Don't take it out on yourself or other people. Sometimes I write it out, read it and then run it through the shredder. And, then I forget about it and move on. I also try to be grateful for anything that I can accomplish, no matter how piddling. Dwelling on the losses will only bring you down further. I had a terrible day yesterday. Could hardly walk, the pain was so bad I was shaking and vomiting. I couldn't even keep my meds down. I loaded and ran the dishwasher. That was the sum total of my day and I was proud of myself for doing it. Overall, it made what I was going through at the moment more tolerable. I'm better today and have clean dishes to boot. I hope that I am making some kind of sense here....Take care.

 

Fantod - August 16

By the way, I'm in MI too.

 

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