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Thanks to all for the Threads!
6 Replies
toots2889 - December 18

Ive been out of the loop lately, because I havent been myself. Well after sitting back and reading the threads that youve all posted, I think I figured out whats going on with me. I think im feeling overwhelmed with the holidays here, because my oldest is also a senior this year. Im dealing with all the graduation demands, the college searches, the recruiters that want him to wrestle for them, and then theres the wrestling season that has also started. My two boys both wrestle and the schedules are crazy! I think i had a breakdown where it all caught up with me and i couldnt keep up. I to was forgetting things, and that was really getting to me. I am saddened that i had a memory as sharp as a tack and now my short term memory is so bad, its embarrassing. When i fall short for stuff for my boys, i feel so bad and think im letting them down. Then i dont sleep well, as my mind wonders onto all the things that i didnt get done. I think i need to take a step back, and due what i can, and let the rest go for another day. I also believe im guilty of not asking for help, and being to hard on myself. See even us old timers forget some of the basics and get thrown off track. It wasnt until reading alot of the post tonight that it finally all came to me. Ive been sitting back reading posts for over a week, and had people offering to help(Fantod,and others) but couldnt explain it or figure out what was going on with me! Thanks everyone for sharing your posts with me, so i could finally understand myself! Now maybe i can try to get myself back on track. I think i also need to start making more time for myself, and start seeing my councelor again. I know as time gets closer to graduation, it will get real crazy and hard for me to let him go. Again i thank you, and wish you all the very best!!!

 

Fantod - December 18

toots2889 - Makes perfect sense to me. I think going back to your counselor is a really good idea. You have a lot on your plate without the added pressure of a child going to college. Its no wonder you were feeling so under the weather. I'm really relieved to hear that you have formulated a plan and figured out what was bothering you. Thanks for letting us know! Sending happy thoughts and warm hoiday wishes to you and your boys.

 

Stacey373 - December 19

Hi Toots - okay....take a deep breath...and relax! (I know, easier said that done!) you can't be Super Mom no matter how hard you try and want to be, I'm sure your boys appreciate everything you are doing for them.

For me, I constantly feel like I'm letting my kids and husband down. But I have to keep reminding myself that all I can do is my best and let the rest go.

We are our own worse critics....I'm pretty sure you're an Awesome Mom and your boys know it!

Take Care, Stacey ;o)

 

axxie - December 20

Toots 2889, oh how I hear you, went through all that last year when baby daughter was graduating from highschool and colleges and university were at the door recruiting. Today, I can rest easy, as dear daughter of mine, is now in university and is finding life at university is quite different than high school. My mind kept running around in circles trying to get things done and not miss a step, it created more confusion for myself and in caused also confusion with dear daughter and husband. Today I rest easier, I have learned that I was not the child, and that I was putting more pressure on her, to get good grades and chose wisely. Like I found out, they the boys have to decide and Mom and Dad although mean well have to step back and let the kids stir.

Please forgive yourself you are doing great I am sure, and as relief, you will notice that the boys will choose wisely. Of course we can always help them in stiring them but at the end they are the ones who have to answer to themselves.

I have found my daughter has grown so much, and has matured is now wiser. I still stop whatever I am doing when she comes homes and I talk and listen to her, she makes me proud, so will yours do. It's time to let them be at the wheel of their future.

It's ok, to have forgotten, you can smile ans say that you have two boys who are in school and doing great in sports and that colleges are knocking at the door. They will do great, because mommy was there to show them right way.

I bought myself a gift a phone that keeps all my schedule in order, so now I miss less and less of my daugthers must attend sports etc.

Have a great Christmas to you toots, you can plant that big smile on your face and talk about your kids how well they have turned out right. Afterall it's Christmas and you have raised your kids right, that is mom afterall your reward.

 

Lee2010 - January 2

Hi Toots2889. I came in a little late on this one - I've been having some really bad weeks and am finally getting some of the answers that I've been looking for from my doctors. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I also totally understand everything that you're going through. This has been my husband's and my first year as empty-nesters. I have had a really hard time adjusting to our two boys being off at their universities. Fortunately, my worst flare-ups have occurred while they've been gone, so I can become a hermit if need be. I, to, had to scale back considerably during my youngest son's senior year. It was so hard on me, but he seemed to do just fine with me being less involved with his activities. It actually turned out for the better as he has adjusted to college life really well and has matured and grown immensely in the last few months.

Just remember that you have done so much for your children over the years and they are very aware of how much you love them. They will look back in a few years and realize just how much you sacrificed for them and will just love you and respect you all the more.

As for your short term memory - what was I just writing about? Oh yeah, short term memory. Anyway, I've got it really bad, too. I have taken to writing everything down since I can't remember anything that has happened recently. My kids patiently, and somewhat humorously, finish my sentences, find the word I was trying to come up with, etc. Just another wonderful symptom we get to learn to deal with. Humor seems to help in our house. I'm also a natural blond, so you can imagine the jokes that I hear almost daily. At least I can blame some of my forgetfulness on "blond moments" - one little perk for me.

As for making more time for yourself, that's absolutely essential. I try to do some puzzles, crosswords and the like, just to keep my mind as sharp as I can - which is about as sharp as a butter knife right now, but better than nothing. I'm also a passionate reader, so I'm always trying to find time to pick up a book and read a bit. Just being with my husband and taking a short walk when I feel up to it is wonderful, too. We enjoy the outdoors and just chatting. He's wonderful and takes great care of me when I'm having a flare-up - which happens more often than not these days. He's getting really good at massage lately.

I really hope that you are on a path to being able to deal with everything that will be thrown your way as you prepare for graduation. The main thing that I learned throughout the months leading up to both of my sons' graduation ceremonies and their subsequent trips off to college, was to let my friends and family help. They wanted to help so much, and believe me, being a Type A personality, it was very difficult to lot go. But let go I did, and I wouldn't have made it through everything if I hadn't.

Hang in there and I'm thinking about you and sending positive thoughts.

Hugs,
Lee

 

slb71 - January 3

toots2889 - i completely understand the frustration of forgetting things. i have been having a real hard time with it for months now. i have had to resort to notes, reminders in my phone and i have 2 people at work that i rely on to help me with this. i laugh it off most of the time but it does get frustrating all the same.

my son graduated form high school last year and that was a very stressful, busy time. i had a lot of fun planning, decorating, scrapbooking and the like. but it really took a toll on my body.

my family was very involved with all of it. i am very blessed to have my family so close and so willing to help in any way they can.

i too feel VERY much like i have let my kids down in a lot of ways. they are patient with me moat of the time but at times they too get frustrated with my inability to remember things. i forget dr appointments (check ups) for them, school money for lunches, or conversations we just had a day or a week ago. my daughter's flute has needed to be fixed for a week now and i still haven't taken it in. thank goodness the have a few extras at school she can borrow. bless her heart, she set a reminder on my phone but set it for p.m. instead of a.m.

isn't it nice to know we are not alone? this is a place we can come to to learn, help, share, and vent? it has been very helpful for me.

take care

 

toots2889 - January 3

To all you great fibro friends,
Thank you guys so much for the words of wisdom. It is nice to hear from people who have already gone thru it or are going through it. Its nice to know that others went thru what im going thru now. I swear I thought I was gonna have a nervous break down. Then i got to hear from and talk to all of you and im feeling so much better. The support I get from all of you is wonderful. Im blessed to be able to have all of you in my life.

 

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