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Sexual impact for women
10 Replies
m.e. - April 6

Sorry for the racy topic, but I am in a new relationship (over 2 months)and have not revealed to my boyfriend that I have this condition. Can fibro impact UTIs, yeast infections, any other areas? At times, it makes me think I should not be in a relationship as it has complicated my life for sure. I hate that this one joy in life has to be negatively impacted with meds that impact sex drive and response. Any thoughts or comments will be appreciated...m.e.

 

jrzgirl - April 6

You need to let him read all about FM, something my husband refuses to do. Your new boyfriend should be understanding and I pray that he is supportive to you. I have heard that it can affect our body's, I know it affects mine in so many ways, I also have RSDS and Raynauds( if you look to the left of the screen, you will see Associated Conditions, click that on, it has alot of information. Good luck to you both, this is a gtrat site, very supportive so Welcome

 

ptalana - April 7

Hi m.e, fibromyalgics do experience symptoms including urinary tract infections, as well as, other pelvic issues. But there are treatments available, so it's extremely important to have an open and honest discussion with your physician to get proper treatment. That being said I think being as honest with your partner is just as important, you'll know when the time is right for this conversation.
Dyspareunia is also a common symptom which is pain experienced during intercourse. Extremely important to also mention to doc, there are treatments available. Some of these treatments are medications such as muscle relaxants, and some involve certain exercises like kegel.
What you have to remember is that life is complicated whether fibro is in the mix or not. We just have to learn to adjust to our challenges and still enjoy all that life and love have to offer. Being intimate and close with our loved ones is extremely important and can bring so much joy to our lives. Sometimes we just need to be a lil creative and understanding of our challenges. I would suggest doing some research on the subject you never know what you might learn. I think I will be doing some research on this myself ;)
Patty

 

m.e. - April 7

Thank you jrzgirll and Patty (ptalana). Your comments were very supportive and helpful. I try to find "work arounds" in so many ways with this condition, but this area gets a little tricky. How incredibly resourceful and persistent we all are to try to get through each day in the best way possible. Thank you for your support....

 

Canada17 - April 7

Life is complicated. Having Fibro does make life different for us but everyone has issues.

I would never use a UTI because even tampons are uncomfortable for me. Having a pap smear hurts, even though my doctor insists that I can't feel it. This coming from a man!

Like most prescriptions, I can't use birth control in any form, even the mini-pill. I am allergic to latex so I learned the hard way that latex condoms are not my friend and polyurethane condoms are $3 per condom! Talk about paying for sex!

I have learned to monitor my cycle and I have developed a keen sense as to when I am ovulating because we don't want to get pregnant again. I use the same basic principles to avoid pregnancy that most people use to optimize fertilization of an egg.

We commonly experience certain things like yeast and bladder infections, however, most women do. And, having sex is often the cause of both. Plus, once you have one your chance of repeated infections go up, it becomes a chronic problem.

Your relationship is still new, so it would be safe to say that you aren't obligated to divulge non-contagious medical history just yet. That being said, my husband and I new we would be together for life after just two weeks. After two months we were looking for a place together and after six months we were pregnant. We were married a year and a half after the birth of our beautiful daughter.

So, if you feel this is the real deal - when you know, you know - then consider discussing it with him. Just don't give him too much information at once because it can be quite scary. Men like to feel like they can protect us and they are helpless at the hands of Fibro. My husband cried when I was finally diagnosed but then he realized that Fibro isn't life-threatening and I could have been diagnosed with something far worse like cancer or lupus - both of which run in my family.

My Fibro does impact my sex life tremendously. I don't have the same desire I had when we first got together. But, I know that once we get going at it, my drive turns up. So, I make the effort, I know I love my husband and I want to have sex with him, my body is just not cooperating. I make the effort because it feels good. I love having sex! It boosts my mood and makes me less irritable. I have more energy and a longer fuse. Plus, research shows that men who have sex twice a week live longer than men who have sex less than once a month and I want a long and happy life with my husband! ; ) lol

Don't even consider yourself less worthy of a relationship because of your medical condition. Many people live fulfilling lives with Fibro but it can be a battle to learn your triggers and how to control your symptoms and flares. Do your research and find ways of coping.

And, remember, you are not alone, we are all in this boat together. : ) Good luck.

 

Canada17 - April 7

**Correction** When I wrote that I would never use a UTI, I meant and IUD...that probably didn't make much sense. LOL Good ol' Fibro Brain!

 

lacie - April 8

I know that I was CONSTANTLY getting UTI-like symptoms for months on months and years. Finally I was diagnosed with interstitial cystitis, which causes symptoms similar to a UTI. IC is also common in people with FMS.

I also have vulvar vestibulitis, which is a specific form of vulvodynia (and apparently also related to FMS). Both of these have affected my bedroom life, but not halted it. You really need to be honest with your guy and let him know what's going on. My boyfriend is very understanding, and we have a great relationship. If your boyfriend is uneasy about your FMS it's much easier to break it off now instead of being stuck with someone you love who does not accept or respect your illness.

Best of luck,

Lacie

 

lacie - April 8

Oh, I also forgot to mention the FATIGUE affects my sex life more than the vulvodynia and IC. I've become used to toughing out the pain and irritation. Some positions have to be avoided because of my bladder, and my parts have a hard time "adjusting" to his in the beginning, but I still work through it. If I'm tired all bets are off! Still working on that one...

 

Noca - April 8

Going pee after having sex helps prevent UTIs, if you all didn't know that already...

 

solanadelfina - April 8

Please don't feel a need to apologize. It's an important topic to be discussed, and truthfully is something I've been wondering about for the future. I thank you for being willing to bring it up, because the answers really help all of us! :)

Canada17, I've also had bad experiences with Paps. (The first time I started screaming right away and the gentle doc with the small scope stopped, and the next time I got some anti-anxiety meds and started screaming again but she managed to finish.) It's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, and I'd rather stick my hand in super-concentrated sulfuric acid than get another. (I got some of that on my arm in chemistry, so I know it hurts.) Would you happen to have any advice on that? My guardian angel doc perscribed another med for getting one again and had a few ideas, but information is power.

 

meltingavocado - April 8

Hi m.e.,
I agree with others that you should tell your boyfriend about your FMS. If he deals poorly with it, you can break it off before it gets too serious (because sooner or later, it will come out). if he deals well with it, and is willing to work with you on the sex stuff, you may have found a good partner. From what I hear, it is common to have frequent yeast infections and UTIs with FMS, but I don't have any firsthand experience with that. i do know about the painful sex, i've dealt with that for a while, and i know that with a loving, supportive partner, and with some research into different positions (ones that feel good for your insides and don't cause too much strain on other parts of your body), you can drastically minimize the pain. however, a lot of antidepressants that are used to treat FMS do lower libido and make it harder to orgasm; i just got put on lexapro and am learning it the hard way. :( if you need to take something like that, by all means do, there are ways to manage it. but if you are worried about the sexual side effects, try different approaches to managing FMS-related pain and depression first: exercise, dietary changes, homeopathy, acupuncture, etc. best of luck!

 

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