Hi Folks, some know me from awhile back, others just recently. I'm looking for an answers.
So remember, I have fought hard to get my job and I'm working 4 days a week. Not bad, I mean it's no easy task getting up when the pain is bad. Well it's been 10 months that I have return to work, and I've just had my semi-annual revue, it wasn't as good as I though it would be, I'm starting to forget things, and find that I do the work and then find out a week later that I have not done the work correctly and have to start over. Well this isn't bad, when nobody knows about it, but there are a couple of times, that I really screwed up and made my Director lose face to others, because of my screwed.
Needless to say, I started crying, I'm 53, and it's like I didn't know this, and what do I do, I start crying and explaining what I have and how it's not easy for me, to come to work and try to do my best. Imagine how I felt, reviewing all the wrongs that they have caught and me saying look, I have notice that some weeks, I do well and other times I don't. Here is what my problem is, and I'm struggling with the decision that I have to make. They would like to keep me until New Years, and see how things will go, they are thinking that if I have a variety of things to do, that maybe I'll do better.
I'm willing to try, but with what happened to me back a few years ago, and now, it's just will go on, and now, I'm really struggling because at some point I will need to make the daunting decision to leave my job for good and claim benefits.
Can someone tell me, how you wrestle with the decision, and what do you do now, that you are at home. Sure I can cook, and I can shop, but find myself in a very boring situation. I was thinking of buying myself a membership to go to the gym, knowing myself I will probably not go and thus it would not be worthwhile.
The only good thing about where I am now, is, the pain pills are working 90%, and I"m sleeping better. As for taking the hormone treatments, I had to stop, because of the amount of water I was gaining and no amount of water pill helped me, it was getting dangerous for my blood pressure.
What to do, and what do you do all day. I only have one child and she is already at university, her first year. As for my marriage, it's working out better, since we have twice monthly meeting with the counsellor.
I am really struggling with this, and know that my time, as finally come and knocked on the door to let me know that I cannot continue very much longer at being incompetent.
I have studied hard, and at one point I was very good and had real talent, now I'm reduced to not much.