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just plain tired of hearing it
8 Replies
fishingflorist - November 24

Ok went to a new Doctor today. Started out OK. He said it doesn't matter if he believes in fibro(which I've had doctors say) What matters is he knows that I have these problems and is willing to treat me for them. Will thats great them as I'm about to leave it never fails, He says " sounds like your biggest problem is depression". You think! That
s when I bustted out the list of ALL my symptoms. All 3 pages. I them proceded to tell him how I deal with each one of these symptoms in combonation everyday. At least 5 of them at a time. I then proceded to say you deal with just 1 of these problems for 10 years and tell me your not depressed. Also take away your ability to go to work, which I worked a 60 hour week up till 5 months ago. Lets see how you deal with it. Any way as I left in tears I call my mom to tell her what happened and there she goews with the depression bit. I know I'm depressed. I don't need to hear that that is why I'm in pain. Why can't anyone understand the pain is part of the cause of the depression. Sorry just needed to vent. I'm just so sick of hearing it's the depression. Then I get home and me husband is a complete ASS! Sorry for the language but thats the only way to describe how he is and was acting. He gives me the I hurt too bit. UGHHH! Your right you hurt to but if I don't get any sympathy your going to hurt twice as bad when I kick you down the stairs.LOL Ok I feel better now! Thanks for listening! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! :)


pam80 - November 24

Hi fishingflorist. I'm sorry that your doctor and your mom upset you with the depression comment. I get the SAME thing from my doctor and my family-that it's the depression causing the pain and if I can just get the depression under control then I will feel better. I just got diagnosed with fibro this past friday but I've known that I had it. My pain just kept getting worse and was developing in new places. Grant it, I have had depression for about 9 years- long before the fibro diagnosis. The daily pain just worsens my depression and I find it hard to think positive.

My mom came with me to the dr. on friday and he said that people with fibro can live pretty much normal lives and I can either choose to crawl up in a ball and cry over it or work hard to feel better. He also said that the main problem is my depression. I do agree with my dr that I need to make some changes in my daily life but I feel like he was minimizing the amount of pain that fibro sufferers go through. So, of course my mom believes that my pain is all emotional, blah blah blah.

I'm just plain tired of hearing it too!! I'm sorry your husband was being an ass. Is he usually pretty supportive? Well, hang in there and know that you're not alone. I completely understand where you are coming from!



kvc33 - November 24

Your post made me laugh with sympathy. You can tell people that you have situational depression which means that the pain and all the health problems you have brought on the depression rather than the other way around. Some people have a good life and no physical pain and get another form of depression usually referred to as clinical depression. One of the frustrating things I have always felt with doctors is that if you go in looking miserable they are likely to say it's just depression, but if you go in with a smile on your face they tell you that you don't seem like you are in pain and you must be fine so it seems like you can't win. When people say depression to me (which I do suffer from), I feel like they are saying that I just have a bad negative attitude. Pain changes a person's brain chemistry and their ability to live a normal life so it's quite normal to get depressed. Anyway, I HEAR YOU!


Stacey373 - November 24

Hi fishingflorist - I'm so sorry that you are having to put up with this. Sounds like the last thing you needed was for a doctor to tell you something like that in front of your mother!

I've told doctors for years that the depression isn't the cause of my's the other way around...I'm depressed because I'm in so much pain. Not to mention everything else we have to deal with when it comes to this illness...I've been thinking lately that I must be one hell of a strong person to be able to deal with all of this and STILL keep a smile on my face (most of the time!)

My doctor is making me see a new doctor next month and I'm scared to death that he's going to say something like what your doctor said. This definitely gets to be very frustrating and you should be able to depend on your husband and family to support you.

I hope eventually they will understand what you are going through. Until've always got all of us on here!

Take Care, Stacey :o)


bbass - November 24

Hi, I am with you all on this. I am so frustrated with doctors wanting me to get emotional help because it is the depression! My central nervous system is screwed up and sending me crazy signals, my autonomic nervous system is still out of whack, why wouldn't my brain be out of whack to?
Good news is that I posted on a forum about my anger over this, and was told that sometimes going to mental health specialists is beneficial because they understand medications and emotional/depression problems from having pain and illness. Then I went to this awesome Psych Nurse Practioner who was so sympathetic, and understood me. She said you are not crazy, your body is very sensitive and we have to be careful how we treat it. She gave me suggestions on medications and told me to think about whether I want to take them, instead of insisting in a god-like way that I must take this med or else. It was so nice having a compassionate listener. I think the other doctors were just overwhelmed by me.
That's just my experience.


fishingflorist - November 24

Thanks everyone for your comments! As I know and you all know yes we are depressed But who wants to hear that every 10 min. I usually have a great additude towards this but I broke down yesterday. Just felt like nobody was listening to me. I see must of you agree pain than depression. And yes my husband is USUALLY very supportive. He better be I was to him for the last 5 years he's been hurt. Fell of a ladder 3 stories and broke his hip at 43 and has never healed. Any way went to rheumatologist today and got the understranding ear I needed. Than came home to start cooking thanksgiving dinner(with no help of course) got pissed came up stairs to read the posts and now am smiling again. Funny how the mind works, just knowing that other people are doing the same thing makes it Ok. Thanks everyone again!


Tspringer - November 24

Sorry to hear you had such a bad day!

I am the husband who has a wife with fibro. I try very hard to be sympathetic but it can be hard. The truth is its very tough to understand the ongoing nightmare that is her pain and suffering just about every day.

Reading this forum its amazing how BAD so many doctors are when it comes to fibro. We have seen so many utterly clueless doctors from GPs to Psychiatrists to Neurologists. Very few have any clue at all when it comes to treating this.

We experienced this also with my son who has Aspergers syndrome.

One humble suggestion: try viewing the doctors as less the authoritative source for your healing and more like a person who probably knows far less than you do about what your suffering from but who is necessary to work with in order to gain access to medications you need. By this I mean you may have more luck going into the doctor with your own well researched ideas on treatments to try and then sell the doctor on your research in order to gain access to medications you wish to try. This is the tact we are trying.

Best of luck,



Fantod - November 24

Terry - I think your suggestion is a good one. I try to work in a collaborative manner with my army of doctors. That seems to work better for everyone involved. In many instances, I find that they are every bit as frustrated as I am. Two heads can be better than one sometimes....


Auvonto - November 26

lol you have said what i have wanted to for a long time. that was funny i know you dont really want to do that but i have felt that way many a time. and laughing is good so thank you. i hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving. sometimes thats all we need for a moment is to vent sometimes i feel like yall are going to get tired of me venting on here that was one of my very first post. feel better



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