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I've had enough
13 Replies
jrzgirl1 - October 23

Enough is enough already, pain and more pain, no one
in my family seems to care how much I hurt,my husband says he hurts alot too, he has arthritis in his knees and I can understand his pain but to him, my pain is nothing.is this living or just existing I have no energy and I am so tired stress is a major factor I know because I HAVE tons of it.Please help me to not do something stupid

 

Stacey373 - October 23

Well first off, you don't want to do anything stupid. Life always eventually gets better....sometimes we just can't see that happening at the time.

It sounds to me like you need a break! If I were you, I would find something relaxing and stress-free to go do and not think about everything that's going on for a little while. Even if it's just laying in bed all day and reading.

As for your husband not understanding...I really don't know what to tell you about that. No matter what you do or say he's NEVER going to understand what you go through each day. And that's just normal...nobody is going to understand unless they live with the same problems as you. I have to assume that part of your stress is that you are using alot of energy trying to make him understand. Just let it go....maybe if you quit trying, he will eventually be sympathetic. Which is all you can ever really expect a spouse or a loved one to be.

Are you taking all the medications that you should be? I'm just wondering if maybe you aren't taking the "right" ones or maybe you need to change meds until you do get the "right" ones. With the right medications you should not be feeling this way. Well let me rephrase that...with the right medications, you shouldn't be feeling this way ALL the time!

My meds usually work really well for the most part. But I still get flare-ups that seem to be endless. I'm actually just starting to come out of a flare-up right now...I've been down for weeks or months (seems like it's been forever!) and no matter what medication I take or how much I take of it...I still feel like hell and nothing helps.

Anyways...just wondering if your meds do normally work...maybe you are going through a flare-up right now? if it's not this, then you really should see your doctor and get the meds you need that will help you.

I hope I've helped you a little...I'm sorry if I haven't....Take Care and let me know how you are doing, Stacey :o)

 

axxie - October 23

Hello jrzgirl1, girl how many times are you going to feel guilty with this I have pain too and I am still able to work.

Look you're pain and how you feel is your own, it will never feel the same for the next person. First of all, when he talks, let him talk and let it go in one ear and out the other ear.

Remember, you can only witstand you're pain, I doubt your husband would be able to feel your pain, only because the pain he has can be fix with a tylenol not us.

Make another appointment to your doctor my dear, and go calmly, with a note and piece of paper and questions in hand.

Tell the doctor without the emotions, that you are hurting and that whatever pain medication he has given you don't work, same with the sleeping pill.

Now, I know sometimes you just don't have the energy because you feel so bad, you want to end the suffering.

But you can do it, I want you to do research about what pain feels like, use words like shooting, gnawing pain, burning, lithning burning pain. How long does the pain last, first thing in the morning or all day, does it give you reprieve when you take a hot shower etc.

With that look at the prescription you are talking, and look to see if you can change the order you take your pain pills. What I mean is, you should be taking your pain pill where there's some pain, but not when it's a full blown attack, what you want to do is control the pain and limit your full blown attack.

As for the sleeping pills, they will not work if you are worked up because the pain is too much.

So, take your pain pill when you are feeling a little pain and keep taking it to never have a depletion of the pain, and always take your sleeping pills at the same time.

YOu need to relax, if you are well enough, why don't you take a walk a few houses down and come back, that could be enough for you to loosen your muscle and not feel as much pain.

I hope you see your doctor and that you can find relief. I also go through, the same periods of I have enough, take easy girl, remember we go thrugh the same at different periods.

Some days you'll bring me up with something you have written to help me through and today I hope we all help you find your bearing.

Remember girl, you need to hang in....

 

Noca - October 23

I know how it feels, I'm sorry your feeling this bad. It sounds to me like your pain is not being managed correctly. Try asking your pain management doctor for a new med regieme and ask him about the possibility of seeing a pain psychologist. They can help you learn to cope with the pain better.

Doctors always worry about over medicating patients but they don't realize the danger of UNDER medicating patients like yourself. Under medicating leads to suicidal ideation and possibly death. Convey this to your doctor and tell him you don't want to die, you just need the pain under control.

If your husband does not care about your pain, it may be because his pain is not under control either.

If you are thinking about suicide, call

You might ask yourself what happens when you die?

You're no longer here for the people who love you and need you and who will be frightened and alone without you there to support and guide them, like your kids.

You can no longer receive nor give love to those you care about.

You will never see your boyfriend again, never again know the times you have been happy. You will never ever have answers to the questions about what awaits around the corner.

You will miss every good thing that is still slated to come your way because you will not be here to receive it.

The untimely ending of your pain will be the beginning of it for so many others who don't want or deserve the burden. They will live with your absence and your choice to leave and the way you did it, and possibly the trauma if they are the ones to find you or identify you for the rest of their lives. And it may be contagious.

You will never have another chance at anything. The life you have lived and the point you are at is the farthest you will ever go, and this will be the most you will have ever accomplished.

That's what happens when you die.

Call 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK if you are in the US and feel you cannot keep yourself safe. If you are in the UK, call the Samaritans.

We are always here to listen to you and support you. ((((((Hugz)))))

 

kvc33 - October 24

In my opinion fibromyalgia is an energy deficit syndrome. The more I do the more I hurt, the less sleep I get the worse I feel. The more stress I have the more I hurt too. I believe that most people with fibro are trying to do far too much because they think they should. You must find a way to lessen your stress. For me it means living a very limited life because I suffer from severe exhaustion as my chief symptom. My definition of stress is: wanting circumstances to be other than what they are and fighting against them. Change the things you can and accept the rest. Every other way leads to insanity. I can't change a traffic jam but I can decide to accept it and turn on the radio. I can also decide to go home instead of doing the shopping I had planned on. I think you need to see a counselor if you aren't already. It seems as though your family doesn't care because they are powerless over the pain you are having.

 

toots2889 - October 24

jrzgirl1, I havent been on in awhile, and to come on and have the 1st post i read is yours. Im very scared for you right now. I wish you would come on and post to let us know your ok. I have been in your shoes many of times, before i found this site and got on the right meds. My family and friends didnt understand me and what i was going thru either. My husband and i are seperated for these reasons. I have two boys who try to understand the best they can and try to support me. My brothers and sisters(other than 1)think im a junkie. Ive cut all ties off with them. I dont need the stress. You see your not alone, and many of times i thought the same way you did. So what i did was make changes in my life to make things easier on me, and less stressful. It was hard but i had to do it. What saved me and got me thru it all was being able to talk to other on here who could relate to me. The other was getting on the right meds and finding the right dr.
It will and can get better! Please dont do anything stupid. You can get thru this to. I would be more than happy to talk to more on this and help you anyway i can. All you need to do is let me know, and i will be there. I hope i was of some help, and may god give you the strength to hang in there.

 

Fantod - October 24

jrzgirl1 - You've been through a lot since you first started participating on this board.

I agree with Noca that your pain issues are not being handled correctly. You need to go back to your doctor and spell it all out for him in plain english.

And, it is very apparent that you get no emotional support at home. I've been there myself which is why I am now divorced and a lot happier. I'd like to gently suggest that you find a counselor to help you work through your troubles. You need at least one person in your corner who is neutral that can offer support. And, believe it or not help you develop coping techniques for managing your pain. My counselor helped me identify my triggers and how to neutralize them before I set myself up for more pain etc.

We are all here for you. Doing something stupid is an entirely selfish notion. We value your participation and input on the board. It matters to me that you come here for help and support. I hope that by the time you see this post, you have regained a little balance and are not feeling so desparate. Things WILL get better. God Bless and keep you during this difficult time.

 

RLFORTIN - October 29

ok...I have pain EVERYDAY....I am not even sure if I know what a flare up is??? I know that I am undermedicated...and my docs can not see this.
I have been to 4 neuro's, 3 rhummey's and two pain docs...I am in need of relieve!!
I am only allowed 2 darvocets a day. I also take one soma a day (that is I am allowed) and 600mg of Gabapenten.

Now, does that seem right to you??

It is like pulling teeth from my docs.

Any other suggestion??

I used heating pads and hot baths to help relieve pain but it does not help too much.

Thx
Nelle

 

Noca - October 29

RLFORTIN apparently Florida hands pain killers out like candy if you live nearby and can get there...

 

powerfulwmn - October 30

First of all, let me say that I am so sorry for the pain that all of you are in. I know how exhausting it is and how terrible our limitations make us feel. Whether the family is understanding or not, it feels awful to have pain decide how much you can participate. I also considered suicide, often many times a day. Chronic pain messes with your mind in many ways!
I don't have insurance, but when I finally scraped together the money to see a rheumatologist (6 month waiting list), she told me (like she thought I was going to be pissed) that she chooses not to prescribe narcotic pain killers. I told her that pain killers seem ineffective anyway, and that I had neither the time or money to take them regularly anyhow. She prescribed me Flexoril, which only cost me $10. It helped to restore a healing sleep cylcle (I had been awakening after only 20 minutes of sleep, awake for 45, lather, rinse, repeat)and it SAVED my life! I didn't even take it every day, and I had to break the tiny pills into quarters, so it lasted me forever. Also, years later I discovered the connection between wheat and potatoes and my pain. This was before everyone was talking about it, so I felt wierd, but my doc was supportive and proud of my self awareness and discovery. I have nearly 100% symptom control when I don't cheat. Even when I do, it's much easier to deal with the pain because I have an idea "why" and also an idea for how to get a break from it- two things that I went insane without before. Also, when I avoid these foods and follow a vegan diet, I have no IBS symptoms. Sorry to be so wordy, but it's my first time on the site, and I feel so much for everyone's pain and experience. Please try eliminating wheat and potatoes for 2 days; see what happens. Good luck to all!

 

fancithatt - November 1

Stupid as in run your husband over with the car?? No really please don't do anything to harm yourself more. Your in enough pain. People that don't have fibro have no idea what it feels like. Just ignore them and go on taking your meds. You have enough stress and pain to let them get in the way. Next time hubby says he hurts ask him where then kick it girl to let him understand how you feel all over. You take care of yourself and chin up my dear.

 

Auvonto - November 2

i have felt this way many times over and the only thing that keeps me from it are my children. i dont want to cause them any pain. i can deal with the pain i have if it means keeping my children from the pain they would suffer without me. as much as i hurt all the time i do think about this then my son 12years old will say Mama do you need anything dont worry mama i'll do it. they are willing to help me. my heart goes out to you. please if you ever feel that way just get on here and rant, rave, and vent. i know i do and no one here will roll their eyes, ignore or anything of the sort. take a deep breath and let go

 

lovlyliz13 - November 9

Hi jrzgirl1,
I know how it feels to be in pain and want to give up. I am a suicide attempt survivor who also has fibromyaglia . I attempted to end my life by taking a handful of pain killers and a handful of antidepression meds . And my mother found me having a massive seizure on my bathroom floor . I saw your other post how you where going to try to go to your sons game . And I know its hard to take that your whole life has been turned upside down by fibro but you have to hold on to the days where you did have a good day . I have a mother who is 57who also suffers from fibro and an older sister who is 37 who also has fibro. So I can some what imagine what your going throught . I cant imagine everything since I am only 19 . But please dont do anything stupid . And unfortunatly you have to keep going for yourself and just ingnore your family and what negative things they say to you . Because your are worthy of a wonderful life . And with doctors you sometimes have to grab them by the collar of the coat to get there attention . And if you feel like crying in front of them just let it happen even if they are not a therapist . Let them know everything that is going on with you . And if they dont listen find another one . But I keep you in my prayers every night and I hope you doing better .

 

kvc33 - November 10

It is infuriating to not have control over one's own life and circumstances. I need support but only get it from one person and that is not enough for me. Therefore I feel like I have to beg people for a little attention or even a kind word. I do my best to give it to others but it is not reciprocated. I want to be well enough that I don't care whether people support me or not. I am finally getting to the point where I don't care what people think of me but it is a battle. I think that if I were worthy of love and support I would get it therefore if I don't it means I am garbage. The only way I know that isn't true is from reading other people's posts because they are in the same position that I'm in.

 

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