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I got into an argument and now i feel ill !
9 Replies
stevekc - October 30

Don't worry ill spare you the details of why i argued, but the implications in the aftermath of it alarmed me. I felt very depressed initially ,but most notably i felt very debilitated and stressed out ,causing my hands and fingers to tremble ,bringing my usual side affects back to there most acute levels. It was a day or so later before i started to feel a little better. sorry sorry for boring you all ,..it's just that my family don't have my poor health ,that's why there not interested in listening to me ,hope you don't mind me telling you guys instead .Hopefully you will be a tad more sympathetic

 

islandguy - October 30

Hi stevekc: Sorry to hear about your bad flare. Stress is a huge contributing factor for me and even the slightest may send me into a flare. Your post will bore no-one. Everyone here has a willing, listening, and compasionate ear. We all need to vent on one another from time to time and this is a good place to do it.
All I want to say is that I know where you are and somewhat how you are feeling.
Take some deep breaths wrap your mind around something happier and try to relax. I know this disease is frustrating and can bring out the anger in most everyone. Some of the "normals" need to be walking around or sitting around in pain everyday 24/7. It would tick anyone off. Take care steve and don't be afraid to post. We are listening.

 

Gavin - October 30

Steve currently going through what may be similar issues of denial by partner as to the complicity and the debilitation of FM. Yes argueing causes me stress and anxiety much more than it used to pre-FM, also being so sick for so long Im tired and have a shorter fuse, great!! Yes I get extra sick for days after an arguement with my partner culminating in a very long discussion last nite that hopefully helps me to see how this has impacted her as wel as for her to more understand how it has impacted me and so hopefully we will sail smoother. Try and keep your lines of communication open and encourage them and yourself to become as educated as you can about your condition. Best wishes to you. Chin up! Gavin

 

islandguy - October 30

stevekc: I borrowed a web address and it has a letter to the Normals. Check it out and see if it will help you to read it and share it with others.
Take care of yourself...I hope it helps a bit. - http://www.drumwaster.com/in
dex.php/weblog/2005/01/24/

 

islandguy - October 30

http://www.drumwaster.com/
index.php/weblog/2005/01/2
4

 

linda brown - October 31

don't feel bad, i get angry everyday for what seems like nothing at all. i don't how my husband puts up with me. he tells me all the time how my temper worries him. i'm seeing a psyh now and i hope this will help. good luck

 

maryem - March 6

Hi.stevekc my family don't understand my illness because I have always been a mother who has put them first .I have tried to explain my condiion to my son but can you believe he ignores me.My husband is the same how can grown ups be so harsh and unfeeling, I looked after my mother for 12 years she had MS but it was easy because I adored her.I often feel depressed I think the people I live with add to my illness in a very negative way .I feel a genuine sympathy for you and hope things improve. Sincerely Mary

 

Tia33 - March 16

Hi I am new tot he forum. I have been like this had words with a friend or family member and it has upset me terrible. I have said I am sorry. it has effected my FM so bad. Personaly we are over sensative people we seam to dwel on on what we say or whay we should have said. We seam to think we are in the wrong all the time. We are not I am the frist one to put my hand up if I am in the wrong. If I am not I will say so. Geting over a difficult situation is hard for us our emotions are far stronger we cry easy, we tend to blame ourselves more. It is a learning process one that takes sometime, we cant comtrol how we feel emtionaly but what we can do is not always blame ourselves. Hugs Love Tia 33 xxx

 

chloe3 - March 26

Every single time my husband and I argue, I suffer from a flare--and sometimes that flare will last up to a week. I have also found that over-excitement will bring on a flare. So, as a result, I have learned to try to keep all of my emotions "even" as much as possible. As far as family members are concerned, that can be the hardest part of the illness. My husband finally understands--only because he has watched me agonize for ten years now. My other family members (i.e., brothers, sisters, and even my mother and daughter) sometimes tell me "It's all in your head." They think that "if you did this" or "if you tried that" I would suddenly find myself cured. Some family members frequently think that I'm "lazy" or "disinterested" in them or the activity in which we may be participating. People have accused me of "just being depressed" and tell me to "snap out of it." My own mother actually sent me a bookmark that says just that..."Snap out of it!" Worse yet, my brothers think of me as being "weak." They come from the mindset that even taking medicine is a sign of weakness, so having an illness is scraping the bottom of the barrell. After years of frustration and anger (which only added to my symptoms) I now try to take a very deep breath, step back from the situation at hand, and keep in mind that these people, for the most part, actually do care about me (even though it doesn't always seem like it). They are simply misinformed and/or otherwise unable to accept the facts, due in large part to their own shortcomings, not mine. I try to view well-meaning people with the empathy I wish they would exercise. I keep in mind that their sometimes hurtful words are not personal attacks--they are nothing more than uneducated remarks. It brings me some semblance of inner peace to be able to "release" my own feelings of anger and resentment when I feel attacked, realizing that these situations are truly not personal attacks, but merely someone else's attempt at dealing with a situation in which they too feel completely helpless to remedy or incapable of even delivering a bit of comfort to someone they love. Yes, it's definitely hard for the person who actually lives and breathes with fibromyalgia on a daily basis, but it's also hard for those around us. Everyone wants to help and to be able to alleviate the pain somehow. In their failed attempts, people sometimes become angry and upset because they are frustrated, just like us. You are not alone in this--not by a long shot. I suffer right along with you...especially when I read things that could very well have been a page out of my personal diary. Please don't think that I am a "know it all" because I am far from that...I am only speaking from my own, imperfect experiences dealing with an illness that sometimes seems impossible. I try to remember every single day that I am a worthwhile individual, even though I can no longer "burn the candle at both ends." I am far from weak--by contrast, dealing with pain is anything but weak! My life is meaningful regardless of what anyone else may think, and I am still an important part of my marriage, my family, and my community. I have let this illness define me far too long and my life has finally changed because I am no longer fighting it, but embracing it and trying to view things from a different, more positive perspective. Always remember that no matter what, your value as a human being has not diminished because you suffer from an illness. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger! I hope my words help in some small way. :0)

 

ArrowDel - March 26

Arguments = stress = flareups = bad days

Although it is rather apparent to you, it may not be so apparent to those who have offended you...in order to make them see this you have to prove it to them...

The best way I've found is to keep a journal...if you already keep one, it'll just be extra entries to mark down the date and times of stresses, and then the date and time of the reaction...

Another way is to let them actually SEE you when your bad day(s) is/are in "full swing" and ask them to explain it (I like letting people write their own comments in my journal ...sometimes it's funny to go over them later once you're in understanding ...especially some of the more far-fetched/impossible ones ...like having the flu 13 times within 3 months or "calm hysterics" )

Unfortunately, usually the closer the person is to you (or has been to you), the less they want to believe that you are "sick" ...but time and perseverance almost always win out.

 

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