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How to email my boss that I have Fibro?
3 Replies
thotchkiss - March 5

I need some advice about what to say to my boss when I email her about my having Fibro. I have a very physically demanding job working with horses and my boss is very type "A". Honestly she is quite mean and crazy and I don't want to talk to her in person about this, not to mention she never has the time. The way she is I'm afraid she will fire me because she will think I can no longer do my job. The truth is I have been doing it in severe pain for months now which she somewhat knows about, but she just doesn't know my diagnosis yet. The truth is I know I shouldn't be doing this job but I can't afford not to at this point and it also comes with my living accommodations. So, I'd be even more screwed if I lost my job rather than having to suffer through it daily. Does anyone have any advice or even a sample email I could refer to when writing mine? Thank you in advance, everyone on this site has been so helpful to me already through my new found Fibro diagnosis.


kvc33 - March 6

What is your purpose in writing a letter? What do you hope to accomplish? If she is not a caring person then I doubt it will get you much empathy and she may take it as your saying that you can no longer do your job. I don't believe in sticking with something that is ruining your health because eventually you will have to quit anyway. Just ask all those people who hung in there too long. If there are some modifications that can be made to make your job easier for you then be specific about that but I would do it in person. Since the cause of Fibro is unknown and it may turn out that we are all suffering from different syndromes, telling someone that you have Fibro doesn't carry much weight if they are mean and uninterested. I think you need to start making plans for a different line of work or going on disability. Just my opinion, take what you like and leave the rest.


thotchkiss - March 6

Thank you for your response. I am well aware that I shouldn't be at this job, however financially I have no choice right now. In regards to my boss if I were to talk to her about this she wouldn't "hear" me and would take everything I say the wrong way. She can't help it it's just the way she is... she has many problems of her own. But she is able to read and understand an email much better. Thus, my original post. I basically just need to get by for at least the next 6 months to save $ to be able to move and hopefully find a teaching job that doesn't require manual labor.


nikita3 - March 6

I agree with kvc33. If your boss isn't very compassionate then telling her about your fibromyalgia probably won't do any good and she may even use that information against you if she perceives it the wrong way.

The thing to do would be to keep going as best you can and in the meantime set yourself up, save the money, so that you can move somewhere else and also prepare to find another job that will be better suited to your needs in the future. It's great that you already have a new job in mind, teaching, as that can be half the trouble of finding new employment, trying to work out what you can do and what you would like doing.

I have a desk job and a kind boss, but I haven't told her about my fibromyalgia. I work four days a week, but every now and then I have to call in sick because I get so exhausted from the routine of getting up and going to work etc. I don't tell my boss because no matter how sympathetic she is, it would still change her perception of me and my ability to do my job. I know she would do whatever she could for me and lighten my load, so to speak, but I don't want to be treated any differently to others.

Over time I'm also coming to the view, like KVC said, that perhaps we are all suffering from unknown illnesses that just haven't been found out yet and in time they could be revealed. So saying that I have fibromyalgia and then perhaps finding out later what the real illness is and saying I have that - I would rather wait and say that I have a particular illness when I know for sure what it is. Hopefully that happens for all of us sooner rather than later. Take care xox



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