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4 Replies
michelle J - December 27

I feel like I'm going crazy my walls are closing in on me , I have had a really tough 4 months it all started when I had lost my dad whom I have just known 22 years out of 41 he had died from cancer through his whole body he never would have found it but he fell and hurt his back and before you know it 6 months he was gone, 4 months later my mother inlaw i always took care of before the nursing home had passed away from alztimers disease on dec 2 09 then while we were trying to heal from that my daughters best friend of many years got i n a severe car accident that had taken her life, my daughter is such a mess that it is really braking my heart because feel like I have lost two daughters and to top it all off I was close to her friend to so now I feel like I have lost 2 daughters and hope the one still living does'nt do anything stupid. I nad to have foot surgery and cant walk on one foot so I'm currently on crutches which the fibro in my arms does not agree with . they had to up my xanax intake and they had to change my vicodien level , I'm so stressed I would let myself cook anything cause twice in one week I have forgotten something on the stove .Any sugestions on how to relax?? I am so stressed I argue to what I know I did or didnt do and when I am right verses the other person I don't get any appoligies but yet I always apoligize ,why is it people make you feel like you are losing your mind but don't help you relize your not ?


axxie - December 27

Dear MichelleJ I am lost of for words, as you are going through a rough patch in your present life, you have grieving and your reaction is quite normal for what you are going through.

Any major loss you have more then one, causes a grief reaction, you need to take some time to be alone and think of things you are fond of for each person you have lost. Sometimes being alone, maybe a few minutes before going to bed, you can just lie there and think each one of them and remember something you are fond of. It is hard, because other people in the household are not recognizing you are hurting. We we forget about other people, the ones who we forget get lost in their grieving.

I would seek a professional help, for evaluation either by your physician or a mental health professional. As you know grief may progress into major depression in some cases, it should not be confused with a more serious mood disorder such as a major depression.

It is not healthy to avoid grief or to deny a major loss for a long period of time, avoidance of grief may lead to seirous physical or emotional problems later in life.

It's time for you to give yourself a chance to morn your griefs, each one has affected you and you need to take it easy. Maybe you would feel better if you did something to help you with your grief, a pen and paper can lead you to pour out your feelings, it can help you.

I have done the pen and paper routine to just sort out my feelings and felt better, sometimes I would just write how my day was going other times I had to write paragraph after paragraph of my feelings. It all leads to pouring out our frustration and our feelings. Eventually you stop writing as you have passed the confusion part. Others times, I had to see a grieving concellor and talk, sometimes it only take a few appointments other times it took me longer.

The short of it, is you are not going crazzy and what you are going through it's quite normal, others may not see you as grieving because they are also grieving in their own way. Or they see you as the matriache of the family the strong one who has large shoulders and can be there to rely on. But you need to let your grief out, whatever that is.

Do take care of yourself and do try to relax, this is a little thing I do when I have too much of information overload, I hide in the bathroom and stay there to read a book or write my feelings, easy to do when you are at home, when they knock I just say I'm busy go away. My response is if the house isn't on fire, and you are not dying your concerns will be dealth with when I am capable of dealing with it.

You need to take some time to be by yourself and do nothing. Even if that means, staying in bed till 2p.m. Everyone can fend for themselves you don't need to help everyone else, you must first recognize you are grieving and deal with it, before being a person.


Noca - December 27

Benzodiazepenes like Xanax can work really well for stress, just dont take more than your prescribed or it will get out of hand really quickly. You might want to try a longer acting benzo like Clonazepam or Diazepam.

As for the emotional stress of losing everyone around you, you should really seek a therapist, a friend, or a support group. It really helps to talk about it with someone. Dont try to bottle it up inside because eventually, the bottle gets full.

One idea to remember loved ones is to plant a tree or visit their grave and talk to them once in a while.

Hang in there, if your going through hell, keep going.


fancithatt - December 27

Hi Michelle, I'm sorry for your losses and the stress your going through. This past year has been a tough one for me too. So much stress and I just want to get off the merry go round and breath. I tried the counselor thing but that didn't seem to work for me. I have a couple of friends that willing allow me to lean on them and cry/vent and be sad with them. It has helped more than anything. So what I'm saying is find someone you can talk to (that will not go spread rumors about you) and just let it out and talk to them. All that stress is so hard with fibromyalgia to add to it that something has to give dear. You will be in my prayers and I will be happy to let you vent to me. Please take care?


michelle J - December 28

Thank you everyone for allowing me to vent out some I will try to write it out on paper and also talk to a friend ,hopefully something will give and someone other than myself sees the stress and not the rock of the house totally going crazy ,I know that my husband is my best friend in my life but maybe with all of the stress in the house I need to turn to a different friend. an old friend she may beable to help me out , any stress relief will help . An trust me its not that I'm not honest or blunt I have been and my husband says to try an be a little less but like Noca said the glass gets full and I guess that it is not how to do it . Hopefully something goes right instead of wrong for me , I'm use to laughing all of the time and lately crying all of the time and afraid to say ANYTHING thanks



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