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Email to my doctor
5 Replies
Cher0208 - September 9

Hi all,
I just wanted to post an email that I sent to my doctor after this recent Edometriosis diagnosis. I am so sick of being bullied by doctors and this is the first of what will be many times I am going to put a doctor in their place. If they aren't helping you- then move on. I am now on the search for a good gyn. Anyway here is the email I sent her last night and have not received a response. I doubt I will get one. Also I belive I have polycystic ovarian syndrome but of course when I see a good doctor they can confirm oor deny that.

Dear Dr. M-------,

I have some questions after my last visit with you. Unfortunately, your staff has informed me that you cannot speak to me over the phone. I have been your patient for a few years now and I remember that once before I was unable to get in touch with you. As a patient, it is unacceptable that I cannot speak to you unless I come in and pay a co pay. ALL of my doctors are available via phone. Why do you have that policy?

Furthermore, I have been coming to you every three months for a pap smear to make sure there are no pre cancerous cells. And every visit, you give me a trans-vaginal sonogram. You always say I have a lot of eggs in my ovaries. Which is odd to me because aren't I supposed to have a lot of eggs? My reason for this email is because on my last visit I came in due to severe abdominal pain. You did another sonogram and suddenly I have Endometriosis. How come you never saw this before? Does it just appear so suddenly and could cause me such severe pain? I had some questions for you but once again you recommended that I go on birth control even though I have explained to you multiple times that I do not want to go back on it. Either way, after having to do tons of my own research (something I should have been able to have an in depth discussion with you about) I learned that birth control simply stops me from ovulating and may reduce symptoms. I have no interest in addressing symptoms. I am sure that the pharmaceutical companies and the doctors that enjoy kick backs would love for me to be put on a prescription that I have to pay for every month and suffer more side effects that it is worth. My interest is in healing my body and doing everything I can to improve my health WITHOUT prescription medication.

You are my doctor, therefore you are supposed to be my advocate. We are supposed to be a team because this is my life and I need to make sure I thoroughly understand the diagnosis that I am given. I am not even sure I have Endometriosis as you were very vague while looking at the sonogram. You said it "looks like cysts and Endometriosis" and that was that. You should have explained this diagnosis to me a little better. Something that may prevent me from having children is very important to me and you seemed to be very indifferent. You also made a comment about my acne making me look like a teenager and that birth control would fix that. This comment was extremely unprofessional and offensive. And just so you know I have had acne the entire time I was on birth control.

The question that I need answered is this: Did the Endometriosis just appear? How come you never mentioned this before?

Needless to say I am no longer going to be your patient. Throughout my Fibromyalgia diagnosis I have had doctor after doctor fail me as a patient. You were one of them. You were the first doctor that I mentioned the possibility of my having Fibromyalgia to. You had the audacity to tell me that it doesn't exist. Who sponsors your lectures when you are in Med School? Pharmaceutical companies, right? Everything is about money and has very little to do with actually healing and helping the patient. Every dime I have, which isn't much goes to paying my health insurance and co pays and for what?? To be rushed out of the office with a prescription that I don't want?

I wanted you to know how I feel as I went on several review sites and saw that there were many many patients who wrote horrible reviews on you. And they were true. Although your staff has never been rude to me like some of the reviews say. I will no longer be your patient because you do not listen to my concerns or explain thoroughly the diagnosis that you give. It is also a huge turn off that you continue to push birth control on me.

Despite everything I wish you and your staff the best and I hope that if anything, this email will change the way you interact and treat your patients.

I will be contacting your office soon to have my medical record sent to me.

Cheryl Dalton


Cher0208 - September 9

Ironic how I keep seing ads for this particular obGyn whenever I come on this website. She doesn't even believe Fibromyalgia is a valid desease!


January - September 10

Good letter, Cher. I hope you will send copies to other involved parties, like your insurance and the state medical licensing board. In my experience, insurance companies are most interested in hearing about lousy treatment, since THEY are the ones paying the bills. Just make sure everything you say is absolute fact - otherwise the dr. can give you a hard time legally.

I'm surprised she has bad reviews online - usually, if a doctor is bad, there just aren't any reviews. I wonder if they threaten lawsuits and have the bad reviews taken down? I read about a company that, for a fee, would give doctors wonderful ratings online - their staff sat around and posted "excellent" reviews for the doctors who paid for this service! So who knows what to believe. I wonder if the bad posts about her will stay up, now that you've told her they exist!

And, BTW, a small note but maybe relevant, fibro is NOT a well-defined disease, really, it is a "syndrome" - that is a cluster of symptoms that seem to be linked. That's why we are all so different, with different causes for our symptoms, and respond to different treatments. Maybe that's why some drs. don't "believe" in it - it's not a simple disease with one simple well-known treatment. Too complicated, involving many symptoms and diseases, and it's hard to treat patients like us who need more than a 10-minute visit. When we go to a specialist, like a gyn, what's the point of mentioning the word "fibromyalgia?" Tell them all your symptoms, and let them figure out what the gyn (or other) problem is -- then get copies of your records, and as you say, demand an explanation of the problem and diagnosis. Then, get copies of your records, and read them (you'll often find glaring mistakes!), and let your primary doctor or rheumy put the pieces together with you as to how these things link into fibro.

I never know if the doctor in front of me was a straight 4.0 student, or if they just scraped through and barely passed. I don't know if they cheated to get that 4.0 either! I wish there were some way I could check their backgrounds and grades. One of the WORST doctors I went to graduated from Harvard and Yale! Looked good on the surface, anyway.

Another note - this doesn't apply to ALL ob/gyn doctors, of course - some people go into it because they love it. But OB/gyn is one of the "easier" specialties. I read that when a student is doing poorly in medical school, they are often advised to go into ob/gyn because it's not as hard and complicated as something like endocrinology, cardiology or surgery. Glad you got rid of this turkey and are moving on!


Cher0208 - September 10

Thanks January-

I never thought of sending this to the insurance company. I just may do that. I intend on sending a similar letter to my GP. Last time I was there she made a comment about ANOTHER problem that I have and said something to the effect of "Well this will be covered because its really there." So the fibromyalgia isn't? Bottom line is I need to get to the root of my suffering. I don't give a shit what name they give it. I just need an accurate diagnosis and a solution or atleast a way to manage it. And no Fibromyalgia is not an answer- I know that. Luckily, I have finally stopped all gluten, processed sugar and alcohol among other suspected triggers and feel sooooo much better!

But yes she has had terrible reviews online for years. Her office is on Madison Avenue in NYC. It is the most pristine gorgeous office I have ever been in. She has all new state of the art equiptment and she is an assistant professor at NYU! What the f*ck? It's like you say - the worse one can look fantastic on the outside but be the worst doctor. I do notice that almost every time I am there I am the only patient! How do you pay such a high rent then??? I mentioned Fibromyalgia to her over a year ago because I had JUST looked it up that day and thought just maybe that could explain why I was feeling that way. So I lightly mentioned it and she let me know that it doesn't exist and suggested an antidepressant AND birth control.

Fascinating that OB/GYN is one of the easier specialities. I did not know that.

My symptoms sound like polycystic ovarian syndrome. It's kind of annoying that every few weeks I find another desease that I am sure that I have. Feels like I am a hypochondriac. Obviously something is really wrong with my health but because a doctor can't/won't figure it out I have to research constantly. But either way, I am going to see the Fibro specialist next Thursday regarding the ton of blood work I had done. (Thyroid, vitamin D etc)
You know, regardless of what this is I feel like eating correctly and exercising everyday like I have been doing is what I can do to feel better. Fibromyalgia is like IBS to me. Its like - ok you have all these symptoms. We don't know whats causing it but we can give you a label for it. It by no means explains anything.

I am so OVER being bullied by doctors and have hit my limit so hence that letter. For now on I will be more assertive with my doctors and if they suck then I'll move on.

It is what it is. Glad to finally be able to stand up for myself!


jrzgirl1 - September 11



January - September 12

Hi Cher - one of the worst ophthalmologists around here teaches at a very, very prestigious medical school. It's not just my opinion that he's bad, I've got absolute proof that he has not done his job correctly, at least as far as what he's done with me. I know other people who had bad experiences with him too. But he has all these great thank you notes posted in his office… so some people like him - or don't know any better yet. I found out what a lousy job he was doing by going to a couple other doctors - whose results did not match up with his at all. One example, he'd been writing me the wrong prescription on my glasses for years. If you KNOW you're far-sighted and you always have been, and your doctor is writing prescriptions for near-sighted eyes, he's not doing his job right. I kept going back saying I had trouble with my eyes - and he just kept writing the SAME (incorrect) prescription. So glad I checked it out with a different doctor!

Your ob/gyn with the lovely office may be deeply in debt to look so good - or she may have a wealthy family and a lot of connections backing her up. Sometimes these people just cheat to get where they are.



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