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Dealing with dismissive people
2 Replies
January - July 4

Thanks to Suzan for resurrecting the Chronic Leg Pain thread! I started to read thru it, and early on, someone tagged "in the know" posted in 2005 a suggestion to google "fibromyalgia dismissive."

I just did that, and got some great articles about how to handle people who say dumb things like "You like fine to me," or "You don't want to get better." Also ideas on what to say to doctors and others who dismiss your symptoms!

Happy googling and hope we all get some good ideas. Happy 4th and to those of you in the northern wilds, Happy Canada Day. : )

 

snapdragon79 - July 4

"Dismissive" I hate the word and hate people like it...but in saying that we do have to try and educate "the normals". the medical side of things is indeed tricky, you need to be persistant and you need to be firm, don't let them put words in your mouth, get blood work done, DEMAND IT if they say" come back in a few days". they can't argue when your imflamation levels are though the roof! take in information about fybro and argue your case..ie," do I not have these 5 symptoms??? " it may feel like you are in a court room, but hey whatever works right?.
back to the "normals" if these people are close to you they will want to understand and help you, if this is the case they will understand but give it time, let them reserch and also observe you, if you do happen to have those people that harbour resentment and put you down all the time, and Im sure some us do, try to minimise the contact you have with them, ( I do this with my partners mother who told him, I would just be a liability to there family...lucky she lives in another state!) over all we just have to get the msg out there that this fybro is a real condition and the people with it have real feelings...

 

tr - July 7

I just posted something that will help all my "friends and family " to understand what I am going thru. I am not looking for any one to feel sorry for me. I usually go out of my way to hide how I am feeling. but on those occasions when I just can't fake it, I want those close to me to understand and give me space. I don't want to hear that I am lazy, or that I need to push my self. Or that it's just old age! or one of the countless thoughtless things people say! So I found a video on youtube that I thought said it all and sent it out and guess what? Only a few bothered to view! The gloves are off! I gave them an oppuntunity to get some answers and some clarity! If one of these "people" say any thing stupid to me it will be hard not to tell them to go jump in the lake! It is getting so that I don't want to be around people any more. I am tired, and I am in pain. I hurt all the time and I don't care what they think about it anymore!!!!!

 

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