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Can I reschedule Christmas - I'm not into it...
5 Replies
axxie - November 25

Why is it, that in my family, I'm the one who always entertain the family at Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I like my family, but with this fibro, I just don't have the same 'get up and go' and I get tired easily and I really can't see how, I'll be able to entertain.

Just waiting for people to get out of my house, when there are worker, drives me up a wall..... does anyone else have the same feelings.

My hubby wants to go to New York, after Christmas and I'm too tired to even want or care to go.....

What's wrong with me...

 

Fantod - November 25

I'm right with you on this one Axxie. I forced myself to put up a few holiday decorations tonight.

I don't/can't entertain anyone at any holiday. I'll contribute what help I can but the its up to the mob to figure out where the festivities will be held. Is there no one in your family who can take over? We all bring a dish to take the strain off of any one person. I think if I were you I would simply tell everyone that they need to figure out an alternate arrangement this year as you are not up to it. Or, Christmas can still be at your house but everyone else will have to do the work before and after so you don't have to lift a finger.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You just got over H1N1, and you are chronically ill. I think what is upsetting you is recognizing your limitations. Respect the message and delegate!!
Take care.

 

axxie - November 25

Thanks Fantod, it's a tradition, if I'm gone on a trip, then my Mom will have the party at my house, because no one has a house big enough. So she'll ask me, can I do Christmas at your house, I'll babysit your house and the cat will have company. I always say yes, and I can't say no to my Mom she's 87 and she wants to see the family together.

I guess I'll delegate, alot more then before.
Thanks for the advice, I guess I'll have to delegate more.... onto them.

 

Canada17 - November 25

Nothing is wrong with you.

I am driving to Hamilton for Christmas, and I am not looking forward to it. 6 hour drive is very tolling on me. I need a nap when I get there, it's like I have jet-lag!

But my mother-in-law doesn't get to see our daughter that much, and she is in crazy amounts of pain because of back problems. I get so much inspiration from her, the least I can do is bear through the drive to see her. She is so understanding of what I am going through, she always encourages me, practically forces me, to rest and relax while we are there.

If I visit my parents though, it's quite the opposite, my family doesn't understand what I am going through. They are the hardest to deal with at holiday time. This year on my birthday, I didn't feel like having cake, I wasn't feeling well and knew the cake would just make me feel worse. Plus, my mom made a cake that she likes and I don't, and didn't even ask me what I wanted.

I didn't have a piece and I got the third degree about how my mom went out of her way to bake a cake for me, the least I could do was have a piece. My health is too important to sacrifice to save someone's feeling from getting hurt. And they didn't even consider the fact that I was ill on my birthday and couldn't enjoy, they just jumped to the conclusion that I was intentionally being "difficult". I wish that's all it was.

My point is that there will always be someone who doesn't understand what you're going through. But you need to look out for yourself first and foremost, you well being is more important than a Christmas party, even if it was the tradition. Maybe a new tradition could come out of this. :) Good luck.

 

belle1329 - November 25

I put my foot in my mouth because no one else mentined where Christmas would be this year, I really love Christmas and look forward to being together with my husbands family as mine are all deceased.:( I like all the little cousins to get together, so I volunteered my house, UGH! My sister in law has a house same size, divorced, has 6 grand kids, 2 daughters and hubbys,I have 2 daughters with hubbys and only 2 grandsons. I guess she does not care if we get together, with the other sister and fam and brother in mom in law. But I do. So Im stuck. My hubby is no help because he does not want me to. He will help, but will complain alot! I did tell everyone to make a dish, ist just that it is goint to be so crowded and stressed with all the littleones (mostly sisterinlaws all under 8 ---1year to 8)running around, you would think she would offer.she has not done it in years, her daughter usually does but just lost her father in law and mother in law now moved in. Oh well my fault. and to top it off, my neice asked if she could come for the week after christmas to stay with meI miss her and her family, 2boys, 12 and 9 and hubby so I said yes. And we babysit our grandsons that week ages 18mths and 8 am Inuts or what! I might cancel , Im going to talk with my girls (who have apartments) and see if they have any advise. sorry rambling on, because I felt good when I volunteered, but now, I know Im going to be sorry :( Thnaks for listening, Happy Holidays to all.

 

K2009 - November 27

Hi everyone! I am right there with you. I am so tired of the holiday "forced fun" between my family, and my husband's. I wish we could just be on a beach somewhere with a Turkey quesadilla and a margarita instead of having to "sit" from room-to-room acting as if we are having a good time, when all I want to do is go home and relax!

And Canada17 - the cake incident is very disturbing. Why is it that everyone around us is so "sensitive" about THEIR feelings, and we are the ones that are in pain, but do our best to go with the flow, and act as if everything is normal? I have been/am in your shoes on this one as well. If I don't eat something from my family, then they act as if something is wrong with ME?

It is time that we all make OUR NEW TRADITIONS, and if anyone else is offended, then so what? Life is short and is not a popularity contest!

Hugs to all, and may 2010 be a great year for everyone - we deserve it!

 

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