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boyfriend with fibromyalgia
3 Replies
lala96x - February 9

my boyfriend recently got diagnosed with fibro after 8 years of suffering.
were both young hes only 20 and im nearly 20. we talked about our future together alot, kids babies etc.. and were only together 8months! i love him so much, i guess i was just looking for some advise on whats to come.. i know staying with him is'nt going to be easy, but i love him so i want to. what should i be expecting in years to come?

 

kvc33 - February 10

It really depends on how bad your bf's fibro is and how willing he is to manage it properly. There are things he can do such as pacing himself, doing gentle stretches and so on. I don't know what his symptoms are so there isn't much I can say. You can expect him to stay the same or get worse and you can expect that if you have a family you will be doing most of the child care and household management if he has fatigue and pain. I would suggest dating him for a very long time before you even think about marriage, you are both so young yet. And make sure you get a good education and a good paying job before you get married. Also look into life and disability insurance, it would have been a good idea for your boyfriend to get disability insurance before he got a diagnosis because if he is unable to work at some point he could get insurance benefits.

 

INPAINDAILYJC - February 12

lala96x

First I want to say it is awesome that you are interested enough to post something on this website. Information is the key with handling any illness/conditions.

I do agree with kvc33 as to where the future will lead. It is hard to say what symptoms your boyfriend will have. If you don't mind me asking, what lead up to the diagnosis? Was it pain, fatigue, etc?

I am 30(almost 31) and was diagnosed with Fibro about 4-5 years ago. I had SEVERE pain, fatigue, sleeping problems, anxiety and a few other symptoms. I manage my Fibro with several different medications and definitely pace myself. I do what I can. If that means letting the dishes go for 2 days, so be it. I have a 11 year old daughter who has went through this diagnosis as well. She is a great child as she knows when I am having a bad day. I am LUCKY enough to be able to work a full time job and being a single parent with all of my syptoms. Again, I have mediciations to help me get through.

I would say to definitely gather as much information as possible and just know that it can take a LONG time to find the right medication to manage his symptoms. Just be patient and be there for him. He is very lucky to have you. Keep me posted.

 

lala96x - February 17

INPAINDAILYJC and kvc33
Thank you for both posting back :) I dont know what it feels like to have fibro but i have a lot of sympathy and respect for both of ye [3
hes been in pain near eight years, he use to play a lot of football and sports and eventually just could'nt anymore he was in that much pain, and felt like no one believed him cause no one really understands.i know i didnt when i first met him, he would always say some part of him was sore i just thought 'dramaqueen' or one of those people that think theres always something wrong with them. i just didnt understand it. i feel horrible for not believing or understanding why.
He had a billion different test over the years to find out what it was and everything came back clear, he then searched his symptoms on the internet and ' self diagnosed himself ' he had an appointment with some doctor and the doctor agreed saying he thought the same thing since my boyfriend described his symptoms, VERY sore, trouble sleeping, irritable bowel most of the time, hes also a very big worrier, stress can apparently make fibro worse!! he rarely gets a full night sleep, his hips would be in agonizing pain if he slept on them too long, so he dosses and turns all night disturbing his sleep.
to be honest he doesn't really like talking to me, or anyone about it. i think hes depressed about it, which i understand but i researched about it to try and understand and if i try and help by telling him random things i read about hes moody and had something negative to say back, it puts me down cause im trying, but i realized its so so hard, and everyday hes in pain and i cant do a thing to help him, were never going to be a 'normal' couple i know that, i just don't know how to cope when hes not talking. since he got diagnosed whenever we talk about the future its not a happy conversation like it should be, his thoughts are im going to be midning him and our 'children' while hes going to be in a wheelchair with no job. the other day he said if his pain got any worse he would rather die. i burst into tears when i got home that evening. i know i proberly sound selfish and only thinking of myself, but its hard for me aswell and i dont know what to do.
thank you for ye'r comments though it means alot for someone to write back xx

 

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