struggling
ckingserenity - Nov 20th, 2009 9:45 AM
[ Original Post ]

I am new to this forum and I want to thank everyone that has contributed, it has really given me a boost. I have been reading for the past week and today has been an especially difficult day both in pain and depression.

I have managed my depression since I was 16, and really have only had bouts after some major upheavals in my life.

I am 40 years old, married with a beautiful, talented, caring 15 year old daughter and 6 year old rambunctious,fun loving, sweet, twin girls. For the last 3 years I have worked as peer support specialist for a mental health agency.

Two years ago I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis, osteoarthritis, degenerative disc disease and 3 hernitated discs. I had surgery to repair the discs and since then have had low level pain in my lower back. Eight months ago I began having pain basicly all over my body. Some days are better than others. My GP and Rheumatogist have eliminated Rheumatiod Arthritis and Lupus and believe that I have Fibromyalgia but are hestitant to diagnose because I don't have all the tender points that are necessary to diagnose. From all my research and now the information I have read on this and other similar forums I belive it is fibro.

I currently take 150mg of Wellbutrin XL, 600ml Lyrica and approximately 30mg oxycontin daily(down from 45 mg, I am trying to get off the narcotic, I have an addictive personality and don't want to rely on it.)

I am just so frustrated and I am so teary today. The pain has become excrutiating and I have to plan my activities so that I can ensure I have adequate rest afterwards. If I go out to run errands which take about 2 hours I have to rest for 3 hours to recoup. I find the pain is the worst in my feet, ankles and lower legs. A couple days ago my older daughter and I were shopping in Walmart, we were there about an hour and I ended up needing her to wheel me out in a wheel chair. I having a really difficult time with the fact I am unable to be the mother I want to be. My twins are attending this really cool birthday party tomorrow, they get to go horse back riding, learn how to groom a horse and get to finger paint a horse. So cool. I was invited to come watch, take pictures and just have fun watching them have fun but I really don't think I will be able to. Its been raining here for two days and my pain is through the roof and just the rough terain of a coral is enough make it really difficult.

I apologize if this sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself but I am, I am soooo tired, frustrated and angry. I have tons of tools to care for myself, meditation, exercise, friends etc and I find myself not using them as much as I should. Ugggh.

Being able to vent like this is therapy, thank youl

Comment


 

toots2889 - Nov 20th, 2009 10:12 AM

ckingserenity, Welcome! Im sorry to hear your having such a bad day. I to can relate to not being able to be the mother you want to be. I have 2 boys, ages 16 and 10. I feel like im the worst mother in the world sometimes. I want to be able to do the things i used to with them and know I cant. The great things about kids is all they really want and need is are love!! If they have that the rest really doesnt matter.

I hope I was of some help and anytime you need to vent, feel free to do so. Thats what we all need to do sometimes. It also helps knowing that theres people out there that can relate. Good luck to you, and may better days lay ahead.


Fantod - Nov 20th, 2009 12:49 PM

Hello ckingserenity and welcome to our soiree!

I also have degeneratvie disc disease and osteoarithtis in addition to Fibromyalga (FMS). Who knew we were going have this much "fun" as adults...

With most FMS patients the tender points come and go on a daily basis. I think you would be better off if you saw another, more fibro-friendly rheumotologist. You can call your local hospital physician referral service and ask them for a recommendation to a rheumotologist and/or a pain specialist (I have both) with an interest in FMS. Or, you can go online to the National Fibromyalgia Association website and register. Then you can see a list of fibro-friendly healthcare providers in your area. Not all rheumotologists are creasted equal when it comes to treating this syndrome. If you have any recent tests/bloodwork take copies with you to save time and money.

I'd like to suggest that you ask your doctor for a prescription pain patch called Flector. This is not narcotic and will not get you high. It only works where it is applied and does not get into your bloodstream. It should not interfere with anything else you are presntly taking, My lower back goes beserk on a regular basis. These patches are a godsend. Further more, if you have pain in your legs, it could be nerve related. You should probably be on gabapentin to relieve some of those symptoms. Adding a pian specialist to your roster of doctors mught be a good idea as well.

You don't say if you are taking anything to help you sleep. FMS disrupts the deep sleep cycle with short bursts of high intensity brain activity. Your muscles need deep sleep in order to repair themselves from the days activities. No deep sleep means higher levels of pain. Amitriptyline is usually prescribed for sleep issues associated with FMS.

And finally, diet is extremely important. Easting smaller high protein meals throughout the day is best. You should avoid deep fried foods, lunchmeat (nitrates) and anything with an artifical sweetner (including Splenda). If you need a sweetner buy Sun Crystals or Truvia which are made with the nontoxic Stevia plant. You can find them in the grocery store.

We aall have our moments when it comes to dealing with all of the limitations that FMS imposes. If your kids know that you love them and are there for them unconditionally than you've done an excellent job as a mother. You are not alone. We are all here to listen and help however we can. Take care and God Bless.




Fantod - Nov 20th, 2009 12:54 PM

I forgot a couple of key points. You should be tested for a vitamin D deficieny. This can be done with a simple blood test. You should also consider being tested for gluten sensitivity. The most accurate test is done using a stool sample. It is possible to be gluten sensitive without having full blown celiac disease. Either of these will also cause wide spread pain. Take care.