Just need some advice and support
Comedygirl - Nov 7th, 2009 9:49 PM
[ Original Post ]

I find myself coming here tonight because I am just at my wits end.I hate the pains I have had to day and for the past 6 months. I tried to nap today and all I wanted to do was find the biggest knife I could and saw off my legs because they hurt so bad I could not sleep no matter how hard I tried. I am so hurt because me and my boyfriend who were supposed to get married have decided to end our relationship and just remain friends. He is on disability for chronic fatigue and anxiety. He can hardly sleep and when he does get to the point where he can then I am waking him up because I cant sleep. I met him a yr ago and I didnt have any pain like this but I started working at Wal-Mart because it was close to him so I could help him with health things. Then I got hurt at work and have been in pain ever since. So now we are at home together all day hardly any money coming in and all we do is fight. I have a new Grandbaby and I like seeing her on occasion but he has the anxiety around babies.I feel so bad that we are in love but fight and just start hating each other more and more every day. My anger with the pain in overwhelming and I have never been an angry person EVER! I cant sleep anymore I cant even make decisions I have gone to the emergency room with anxiety attacks now twice. the Drs are working as fast as they can to try and figure this all out and I just feel, alone and depressed all the time. I wish I could sleep and feel better when I wake up but I dont and I have myself now for ruining my boyfriends life and keeping him from getting his sleep when he can. I just hate myself everyday.

Comment


 

axxie - Nov 7th, 2009 11:14 PM

Comedygirl, I'm sorry you are feeling depressed, but please, don't blame yourself for a failed relationship. You are going through many health event in your life and I feel you are trying to put your ex-fiance health before yours.

Relationship where someone must be the caregiver will never work, it's usually out of pity that we fall in love with the notion that you can make things better.

Could it be you have the anxiety because of the pressure you are putting on yourself of being the great savior of your relationship, being the main bread winner etc. What you are feeling is alot of pressure of trying to have a normal relationship in a pressure cooker, it just doesn't work.

You need to take things one step at a time, evaluate your life first, what is it that you want, write them down, your short and long term goal and stick with them. Those goals will become your ticket to making your life better. The more you concentrate on healthy goals, the better you will feel.

The pain you are experiencing in your legs are probably because you are not moving enough, your body and minds need to move, go out for a walk, or go walk in a shopping centre, staying at home not doing much doesn't help your anxiety attacks and does nothing for your pain.

As for sleeping, go to the pharmacy and try melatonin, you can find them in the isle, and many people on this board have reported that it does help. Another thing you can do, is take a one benadryl in the evening, one of the side affects is drowsiness, which helps you sleep. These are options only, until you see a doctor who can give you a sleeping aid and other medication to help you with your pain.


Noca - Nov 8th, 2009 5:43 PM

Take an SSRI for depression, a benzo for anxiety, an hypnotic for sleep(as well as a new good mattress) and an opioid for pain. As fro your bf, get out of your bad relationship if all you do is fight. Best of luck!