what to say or do when my partner starts to have suicide talks

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Q&A | Fibromyalgia Support - Family Members | what to say or do when my partner starts to have suicide talks

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Name: Zita Title of Question: what to say or do when my partner starts to have suicide talks

Question: my boyfriend has now had FMS for about a year, and sometimes it takes its toll on him. his a bar manager and a mixologist, but fms has caused him to no longer be able to digest alcohol,milk cheese etc. sex is great for the both of us but when it comes to ejaculation, he seems to pay for it in the morning by feeling quite bad with muscle pain. due to all of this he says its better for him to die than go though all this all his life. although i know its not him talking when he has his "fms attacks" as i call it, but its still hard to hear some one who you love say things like this. when his not suffering from fms symptoms everything is extremly happy ?

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Name: Jean | Date: December 1, 2005, 20:48

Answer: FMS is a difficult condition to go through every day 365 days of the year. Fibromyalgia induces anxiety and depression. I would suggest seeing a Rheumatologist for his pain and a psychiatrist for the depression and anxiety. People do not like to go to psychiatrists because you think it's all in the head but my thoughts are they can put you on the right medication and monitor this medication so that it is right for you and then you also have someone to talk to about this condition and that is help in itself. Hope things get better for you. By the way that's what I did and it is helpful. =

Name: Doug Tomlinson | Date: June 3, 2007, 22:08

Answer: I have had bouts of depression where i've often thought o fthe unthinkable. Most of my stress is financial at the moment. i have a very supportive wife, but she bears the burden of our financial needs because of a long battle to get LTD to pay up or get something else going. I figured that if i "offed" myself, then my wife could cash in on our sizable life insurance policy. I kept saying, "the bastards would pay then wouldn't they". and i seriously considered it, trying to figure out a way so that my young kids wouldn't be the ones to find me dead. my wife pleaded with my physician to get me on some type of antidepressant. i am currently on Paxil, which is the same stuff they prescribe to women for post-partum depression and we know how serious that can be. It seems to be working fine and it has even helped stop some of the short fuse rages that i had too. You should see the holes in the wall. The pain is still there every day but it does help curb my feelings of suicide. i now realize that the insurance would be just a quick fix to a problem, but would cause so much hurt to the ones that i leave behind. They would rather eat macaroni and cheese and mr noodles from the food bank with me there than have steak and shrimp without me. =

Name: Robin1237 | Date: September 20, 2007, 5:45

Answer: Ok -- we have Lyme disease -- it's a bacterial infection that inflames our nerves and soft tissues and causes havoc in all body functioning. It drives us crazy. Just know it's the bacterial infection and not us! Please, go read about it at www.lymenet.org/FlashDiscussion/MedicalQuestions and then people there can help you find a knowledgeable doctor who can test and treat you. Tell him to hang in there. Help is on the way... =

Name: megh | Date: October 4, 2007, 10:19

Answer: I think everyone one of us has felt that way. But whenever anyone talks of ending it the best prevention is to find counseling immediately. =

Name: FibroFree | Date: October 19, 2007, 14:08

Answer: I have to agree with megh. Your boyfriend needs to get to counseling right away. Pain affects the psyche, especially when it is chronic and so debilitating. I had severe fibro for 10 years and have been painfree for 10 years now. So, it can be cured! Be support ive and understanding. Sounds like you are. But if he is talking suicide, then he needs professional help NOW. Getting rid of fibro requires changing all aspects of your life. What's out of balance? Organic vegetarian diet over time helped. He might need to make some major changes in his life - new job? Eliminate the toxic...and that doesn't mean just foods, all areas of our lives can become toxic, people, foods, environment. Flare ups are part of fibro - he needs to begin to track his symptoms and see what is happening in his life that is causing them. There are free worksheets online to help track symptoms. That may be a place to start. I am sure he feels very out of control. Get him some help now. He needs a professional to whom he can express his fears and frustrations. FibroFree www.cure-fibromyalgia.com =

Name: Robin1237 | Date: October 23, 2007, 3:58

Answer: Hi -- I think this is Lyme disease, called by a bacteria, usually acquired from a tick bite. Go read at http://flash.lymenet.org and see whether he thinks he matches the symptoms, which are systemic ones. The folks at lymenet can help him find a Lyme-knowledgeable doctor in your area to work with. =